


There Are Things Crawling Under The Skin

by Chopcody



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers Family, BAMF Michelle Jones, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Domestic Avengers, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man) Dies, Medical Inaccuracies, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mentioned Skip Westcott, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Protective Avengers, Protective Tony Stark, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Schizoaffective Disorder, Sick Peter, Sick Peter Parker, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, med compliance, no beta we die like men, so many medical inaccuracies, so so many medical innacuracies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2020-07-23 07:42:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 78,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20004733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chopcody/pseuds/Chopcody
Summary: Peter suffers from mental illness and struggles with med compliance. What will happen when tragedy befalls him? Who will make sure he doesn’t succumb to his disease? Who could it possibly be? Hint: it rhymes with ‘pony spark’.  (Re-edited summary and updated tags)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> -I have absolutely no experience with mental illness. I have made this up COMPLETELY from the aether of pop culture, school, life, and Grey's Anatomy. So please do forgive any trespasses. I mean no offense to anyone's real life experiences.  
> -I've never posted anything before and am just writing and posting as I go along. So forgive all the edits and non-regular postings

When Peter Parker was 2 years old his parents died. He went to live with his Uncle Ben and his wife, Aunt May.

When Peter was 8 years old he got a babysitter named Skip Westcott. He endured unspeakable abuse, fear, and shame for 2 and a half years until he told his Uncle Ben.

When Peter was 11 years old he watched his Uncle Ben die. He held his uncle in his arms as he bled out, shot down by a mugger in the alley by their corner bodega. 

Thankfully, May was a CNA and a good person with lots of friends. Even though she and Ben weren't wealthy, because May had friends "in the right places" Peter was a patient of the best counseling center in the city. So, Peter was under the care of a specialized therapist-for Skip and then later... for Ben, for even at 11 years old wanting to take on the cares of the whole world. Sylvia, his therapist was a child psychologist. Specializing in CPSTD related to sexual abuse. And Peter loved her. Not like family, he knew that she was his therapist and he knew why he needed her, but she helped him SO much, to quiet the sometime loud, sometimes quiet voice in his head telling him that everything was his fault and that he was not worthy of anyone's love, to dampen his self doubt and build up his soul. He'd been going to see Sylvia once a week for 2 years already when _it_ happened. 

It happened two months after Ben dies. It was at this time that his brain decided that Peter's reality didn't suck enough and it was gonna make it itself _go off_ _the_ _fucking rails_.

The chemistry changed, his brain fractured. It got imbalanced. Sick. Ill. Peter was 12 by this time. His body and brain still growing, still developing. It started out as dissociating, just checking out every now and then for short (2 minutes) to long (half a day) periods of time.

Then...Peter started hallucinating. Auditory at first, hearing voices, "real" voices, not his own perceived conscience, not his self doubt. Voices he could hear, saying terrible things to him. Telling him that he deserved all the terrible things that had happened. Voices telling him to do things. To himself mostly. Then he started seeing things too. People walking into rooms and starting conversations with him, telling him that Bad Things were coming. He'd see bees flying into his bedroom and landing on his bed in the morning, but really, the window was closed. There were no bees. No people, no voices. But he didn't know that, couldn't tell the difference. And it was terrifying. For him and for May.

When Peter had started to dissociate, Sylvia had been teaching him techniques to recognize the feeling and how to ground himself. He had been doing so well. The dissociative episodes got fewer with more time in between each episode. But then, Peter started to backtrack. She noticed when Peter would focus on 'nothing' and he would twitch as if his attention was taken away. He started talking to himself during their sessions and answering questions she hadn't asked. Peter started getting distracted by and interacting with his hallucinations. The dissociative episodes returned. He became harder to reach. His connection to reality was becoming tenuous.

"Hey Sylvia! How's it hanging this week?" He'd chirp. He'd plop his backpack down on the one of the four chairs in the office and sit down in his favorite comfy chair in front of her. Sometimes they sat on the play mat in the corner, where there were toys and games. Sometimes they'd go for a walk outside for their sessions. 

"Just fine Peter, thank you for asking. And how is your week going? Have you had a chance to formulate an outline for that summer planner we talked about?", Sylvia asked.

Eyes darting to the left, Peter would mumble "I don't think you should say that, please go wait outside." Even to his hallucinations, he was polite. "What was that Miss Sylvia? I didn't hear you." He'd say. Then it'd be over. Peter would refocus on the moment and go about his day. Neither May nor Sylvia knew how many times this happened daily so far, and neither did Peter. He knew _something_ was wrong. But at 12 years old he knew that telling adults you see and hear things you know _probably_ no one else can see will not go over well. So he didn't tell.

Sylvia began to take notes, she didn't want to alarm May, but an emergency hospital admission into the pediatric psych ward was looking like a possibility.

Sylvia knew she had to formulate a new treatment regimen and was actually in the process of referring Peter to a specialist when he had his psychotic break, as they are called. 

It was two weeks before the end of the school year, a Thursday, he was in 7th grade, 12 years old. He'd had a session with Sylvia on Monday and wasn't due to see her for another week. Peter had woken up and was convinced that insects were in his bed. That the insects had crawled into his skin during the night and were leaving poison his body. He clawed at his skin screaming for help.

Aunt May ran into his room and was greeted by the most horrific thing she'd ever see. Peter had tore open the skin on his arms, throat and legs with his own fingernails. He was pacing about the room hyperventilating, his eyes wild. He was talking out loud, about the bugs in his skin. He begged with wild eyes for May to get them out. He said he could feel them crawling up his arms and clawed furiously at them. May was frozen in place, horrified by her nephew's psychosis. She stood helplessly and watched him and followed his eyes as they alit on his desk and saw the craft scissors, May noticed and lunged for Peter. Even though he was 12 years old to her 32, they were just about evenly matched. May struggled to hold his arms, pinning them down. Peter screamed and screamed and screamed. He kicked and struggled, blood was smearing everywhere. He was inconsolable. The neighbors came to the door and May yelled through it for them to call 911. And they did, and emergency responders came. By the time they arrived, Peter was in a completely delusional state, but thankfully no longer fighting. He was lost in his own world, rocking back on a forth on the ground trying to self sooth his fractured self. The paramedics carefully approached Peter and with May's permission, they sedated him and took him to Cedars Sinai Manhattan, it was the only hospital equipped and staffed to deal with a case like Peter.

"Does your nephew do any drugs ma'am?"

May was shaken out of her worry by the question, "What?! NO! Absolutely not. But...he sees a therapist. He...he has CPTSD from some stuff...We were about to try some new medications. He...he's been...I think he's been hearing things for a few days...weeks, I don't know..." she sobbed.

The paramedics took all this is as they secured an unconscious Peter to the stretcher with soft restraints, obligated in any patient who might pose a danger to themselves or others. And boy howdy this kid qualified. They were kind and gentle with May, she was clearly overwhelmed (who wouldn't be) by the situation. One of the paramedics stayed with her throughout the admittance procedure for Peter. It was complicated, as one would imagine. 48 hour admittance in the hospital minimum,

May called Sylvia, who called a Dr. Michael Simoncec (Dr. S to his kids). He was a psychiatrist on staff at Cedar Sinai and a pioneer in the diagnosis and treatment of schizoaffective disorder in people under the age of 24. Peter was his second youngest patient. He was an overachiever like that. Go Peter!

Upon admittance to the hospital, Dr. S took one look at the state he was in and read his abridged file from Sylvia, he ordered for complete physical and mental sedation on Haloperidol with five point restraints for two days. He told May he'd be mostly unconscious for the restraints, but that they were absolutely necessary. Once he woke up they started him out on a monthly injection of an anti-psychotic. Every morning before he ate he had to take three pills, a pink one (another anti-psychotic), a teeny tiny white one (a mood stabilizer), and white one (anti-tremor, for tremors from the mood stabilizer). At lunch, he had to take a second white one. And at bedtime, he had to take two last ones, the horse pill (sedative) he hated the most and the white one again. Little plastic cups of pills. Little plastic cups of water. 1:1 monitoring for 24 hours a day for two weeks. He was a walking zombie for those first two weeks. At least it made the 1:1 monitoring on the nurses easy. He did fuck all all day except blink and breathe.

He was on 4 medications and was a complete fucking zombie for most of the stay. But at least he wasn't shredding off his own skin and trying to claw insects out of himself. 

But Dr. S and the hospital staff eventually got his dosages down to a bare minimum, and Peter, the real Peter started to come out again. 

During his hospital stay Peter had started out with twice daily evaluations with Dr. S and once daily sessions with Sylvia. The last few weeks of his stay he was back to once weekly sessions with Sylvia and every other day visitations by Dr. S.

Peter was hospitalized for two months before he was stable enough to go home. He and May had gotten a diagnosis before he left (Thanks, Dr. S!): Pediatric Schizoaffective Disorder complicated by CPSTD and Depersonalization Dissociation Disorder.

When he went back to live with May in late July. After his hospital stay, they had a new routine for a different life.


	2. Spiderbite

Peter went home from the hospital with his handy diagnosis and May brought him home with a planner made out just for his therapy and evaluation sessions and his med list and dosing schedule. Being a minor, Peter wasn't allowed to dose himself. Which suited him anyway, because he didn't like to accept that he needed them anyway (Dr. S was working on that with him).

He had missed the last two weeks of school, but since May hadn't been allowed to visit the first week of Peter's hospitalization, she had plenty of time to talk to the school and let them know that he was sick (Principal Morita and the school nurse were the only ones told of the nature and extent of his illness). The school set him a deadline of the second week of August to finish the final exams before they would register him for 8th grade, which started the last week of August.

Ned (bestie since 4th grade) had been kept in the dark about his "time away" as Peter called it. Peter didn't have a cell phone so Ned's mom had always called May to schedule play dates and stuff. After he got sick before the end of term in 7th grade, Ned's mother had called checking up on Peter. May wasn't able to call her back until she time to formulate a conversation in her head. She told Mrs. Leeds that Peter was very sick, in connection to his depression and that he was going to be in an in-patient program for the summer. The Leeds family knew about Peter's history with Skip, and the families had been close for years, so they knew about Ben too, and about Peter's counseling. So, it was part truth and it was all May was willing to share without including Peter in the discussion. The in-patient program "story" also explained why Peter would be non communicado until the beginning of the next school year.

On the first day of school Ned gave Peter the BIGGEST hug of his life. "Dude" he breathed. "I missed you so much Peter."

Peter leaned his head on his friends shoulder, "I missed you too Ned, so much".

The boys caught up from the whole summer in about 3 min, walking from the front doors of the school to their lockers and then to class.

"My family went to Hawaii. I had so much plate lunch. I got stung by a jellyfish"

"I got my head examined". Ned punched him on the arm with that one.

"What?! It's true!" Peter said with a smile.

"Yeah, but dude. Too soon to joke about it right? Is it too soon?" said Ned tilting his head quizzically. Even space cadet preteens like Ned and Peter knew that _In-Patient psychiatric treatment_ wasn't something "normal". A therapist? Sure. Normal. But what Peter had was _serious_.

"Nah. My head, my jokes", said Peter.

During the school day, he had to walk himself to the school nurse's office everyday and get dosed. So humiliating. But Nurse Nancy was cool and didn't make a big deal out if it. Just handed him the tiny plastic cup with his mid-day pill and gave him a lollipop if he wanted one. Then told him to get his skinny ass back to class. Sometimes she gave him a kick in the pants (literally), just for fun, since they saw each other so often. 

All in all, May and Peter were adjusting. 

...Pediatric Schizoaffective Disorder complicated by CPSTD and Depersonalization Dissociation Disorder. What a mouthful. It wasn't something that got "handled", you just "managed" it. And they were. 

8th grade went great. 13 years old now. Around October Peter started dissociating again. Dr. S. adjusted his meds.

At Christmas time, the first Christmas without Ben, Peter started hearing voices again.

"I don't think you should be saying those things to me, and I don't think it's true." he whispered, while sitting at the table doing his homework.

"What was that Peter? I can't hear you over the sound of the sink in here" said May, who was standing in the kitchen fanning off the burning meatloaf. Peter looked down and away, ashamed at not realizing what he was hearing wasn't real.

"Nothing May."

The next morning at the breakfast table, Peter asked if May could call Dr. S. for him.

"Of course, baby." she looked at him with kind eyes. "Is your stupid brain acting stupid again?"

May knew how to talk to him about his mental illness. Peter gave a wry smile and said "yeah. I may be smart but my brain is definitely being stupid."

Dr. S. adjusted his meds again. He was....'tired' each time he had his meds adjusted, but within a few weeks, his energy would come back. It sucked, but he just told Ned he didn't feel up to anything, and eventually, he bounced back. Without the psychosis. Which was, you know, cool. 

Springtime went by pretty smoothly, Ned and Peter had a party when they both got accepted into Midtown School of Technology. May and Peter had a party when he qualified for a full scholarship.

In June, Peter graduated 8th grade.

The summer between 8th and 9th grade would be the time Peter would remember in his daydreams as one of the happiest times in his life. He and Ned went to a sleepaway science camp for a WHOLE month! Peter had been sent with a giant plastic box of all his pills. Between himself, the camp nurse and the counselors, he maintained his med compliance. He Skyped in a session with Sylvia and checked in with Dr. S every Friday. He made homemade rocket boosters. Dissected frogs. Sailed, kayaked, and made tinfoil ovens for brownies. Best. Month. Ever.

Then high school started.He and Ned were in HIGH SCHOOL. Awesome. 

Field trip. Awesome.

Oscorp. OK, not Stark Enterprises but, still awesome!

Spiderbite. what. the. fuck. not awesome.


	3. So here's the logic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So how does Peter handle the spider bite?

Set scene- Peter laying on the bottom bunk of his bed (the confined space helped him think better)... _'lemme think this through'...._

_Point the first: I got bit by a glowy spider at a suspiciously not evil company that is probably most definitely, but not proven to be, in fact,...very evil._

_Point B: I felt absolute shitballs for two days straight, but am not dead. Gucci. Feel great now, three days post glowy spider bite. Score._

_Third: I'm sticky now. Wat. Will explore at future date._

_IV: accidentally pulled the bathroom door off the hinges, broke the glass front doors of school, crushed two beakers, healed really fast, like super fast from acid burns from aforementioned broken beakers, tore straps off backpack (need a new back pack May, sorry), bent the butterknife putting it away. etc, etc.....etcetera..._

_E: vision seems super crisp now. huh._

_6th: can hear absolutely every fucking thing. Lame. No one wants this super power. I can hear Mr. Garcia pooping 2 floors down. C'mon people. This sucks donkey._

_Lastly: I have **superpowers.**_

_'OK Peter. You have superpowers. Super vision? Check. Super strength? Check. Super sticky? Check. Super hearing? Super lame but Check.'_

_'What about my stupid brain.'_

_'Don't be a dumbass Parker. A risk:benefit analysis is **clearly** in favor of :_

_**#** 1 **don't tell anyone** (basic comic history and recent real-lifesuperhero history supports the secret identity theory (notable exception "I am Iron Man, Tony Stark")_

_**#2 keep taking your meds.** (If you don't need them, maybe your body will "heal" from the chemistry, like it did from the burns...and if you do still need them, well then you do....dumbass)_

Peter rolled over and pushed himself up to sitting, his legs on the floor. Elbows on knees and head in hands. All in all, he felt like he was handling this whole thing pretty well. Dr. S would be proud (super proud) of his decision to keep taking his meds, it had been "an issue" in the past. And ANY conversation about his meds would have to be with May and that would inevitably lead to breaking rule #1 of being a super hero: keeping your identity secret.

And by golly, if he was gonna be a superhero, he was gonna be the best, nicest, most super hero in Queens. 


	4. Spiderbaby

So, the first semester of 9th grade was...interesting.

In between therapy sessions, med compliance, school, and helping out May where he could, Peter _still_ managed to fit in time to learn how to be Spider Man. Granted, he had to quit chess club, band and A/V club. But it was worth it.

He made a suit and mask, red and blue. After school, he went out and figured out exactly how sticky, fast, and strong he was. 

Pretty fucking sticky. Pretty darn fast. Pretty freaking strong. 

About a week after The Bite he was laying in bed and saw a spiderweb up in the corner of his room and was _inspired_. Two weeks after that he had his first web shooters prototype.

A week after that he swung off his first building. He considered it a victory in that he did not 1) shit himself 2) he landed, uninjured. Granted he 1) hung attached to the webbing for an hour before figuring out how the release mechanism malfunctioned and 2) screamed like a preteen girl all the way down before smacking into a brick wall. Ow. Still... success!

Spider Man became more common and he became more popular. He stuck to Queens, mostly, helping out old ladies with groceries, bike theft was waaaaay down now thanks to him. Lost pets were retrieved and petty criminals had better watch out! Well, between the hours of 4 and 6:30 pm weeknights and midnight-2am weekends anyway. 

Since May worked such long hours, Peter was able to make it work, all the while keeping his identity secret. Until Ned surprised him in his room after a patrol. 

"What the hell man?? what are you doing in my room!?"

"You're the Spider Man, OMG this is the best night of my life."

"You gotta keep this secret man."

"WHAT??? WHY??! OK...coolcoolcoolcool...ok.. I don't know if I can do that. THis is the COolest thing to ever happen to me."

"Dude, chill. You have to keep it secret. For May, ok? She's been through so much, and ...and this..this would freak her out. OK? For May?"

(sigh) "OK dude. But you have to tell me _everything."_

So, Peter did. Mostly. Ned was his best friend and Peter was a even a little happy to be able to share his secret with just one person. Ned already knew (kind of) about his mental health issues. He knew Peter got down sometimes (usually after his meds were adjusted), he knew Peter had to always go to therapy (which was kind of a drag at first, but now they just schedule around it. Like they did for other stuff. Like academic decathlon or field trips), he also knew Peter had to take medicine constantly (even if he didn't know exactly what they were for) and now he knew he had superpowers. Rad. Well not the other stuff, but yeah, the superpowers were rad.

Even the super hearing and you would never convince Ned otherwise.

......................

About a month after Ned found out, Peter asked him to be on the lookout for "you know, just watch out if I start acting weird".

"Weird how Peter? We're both already weird. You have sticky hands and super powers dude." replied Ned with a goofy smile.

"I dunno man, just weird..ok?" Peter said looking down at the floor.

The boys were having a Friday night sleepover and had already had LEGO time, pizza time and just finished watching a movie. May banished them to Peter's room for the rest of the night. Peter sat on the floor in the middle of his cluttered but clean room patching up his homemade suit. Ned was sitting on the bottom bunk, dividing his attention between their dumpster-dive trash turned treasure GameBoy and watching Peter sew up what looked suspiciously like stabby holes. 

"You want me to watch out for if the spider bite is turning you evil?" asked Ned breathlessly, with wide eyes.

"Whhhat?!... No, man... just..you know...weird, ok? Like....if I start...uh... "

"What Peter?" asked Ned, putting down the handheld console onto the bed. He could tell Peter was really worried about this. Even if he didn't get what "this" was.

"Just tell me Peter, you can ask me anything. If I can do it, I will". Ned said earnestly.

Peter looked up at his best friend and took a big breath and said "It just...well, I'm worried about all the medicine I have to take and I can't always tell if they're working or not. The medicine I mean. I...I'm not really the best judge of ...uh... of how I'm acting all the time. IfIstartactingcrazyjusttellme...ok?" Peter put down his stitching, pursed his lips and grimaced, while looking up at his best friend. 

Ned blinked. He still didn't get it. 

Peter sighed, even knowing Ned since 4th grade, and knowing him since his psychotic break...Peter had never told him (or anyone) exactly how sick he was, or what lengths he had to go through to manage it. Ned never asked what all the meds were for and he just assumed they were depression or anxiety. A bunch of kids (especially at a school like Midtown) were on those types of medicines. Granted they didn't have to have them specially dispensed...but it was none of Ned's business, so he didn't ever really think about it. It just was. Peter took medicine every morning, afternoon, and night. So what? Ned and Peter didn't have a lot of friends, so they never took each other for granted and just went with the flow of whatever came their way. Bullies? Handled. Ridiculous school work? Handled. Decathlon? Handled. Spider Man? Kinda handled. Meds? Handled. Ned just never asked about them since Peter never seemed particularly inclined to share. And it's not like its the sort of thing one asks after... and the medicines didn't seem to have changed anything about Peter, not really.

Peter took a big deep breath. Exhaled. Then spoke, "I, uh, I have pretty bad mental illness."

Ned blinked again. "Yeah, I know, Imean...I guess? I do? Like how dude? I mean, more than that stuff with Skip?" His eyes were big and he looked...interested. He didn't look scared or angry.

As far as Ned knew, Peter had been abused for a long time when they were younger and went to talk to a therapist about it now because of it. Peter could get quiet, like really quiet for periods of time. Or he could be a bit standoffish at times, and withdrawn. But these periods never lasted too long, not for Ned away. Sure, Peter spaced out sometimes, but he always came back, so Ned would just wait it out. And it didn't happen often....anymore.

Peter went on "Uh, like really sick. The meds I take make sure that I uh...that I don't uh....hallucinate ...and stuff," he finished lamely.

There. He said it. Even more secret than his freaking super powers and super hero identity was the extent of his mental illness. How sick/stupid was that?

"OK" said Ned. He nodded his head up and down like 50 times... "OK. OK, okokokok. OK, cool... I can look out for that."

"That's it? You're not gonna ask about me hallucinating? That's kind of a big deal Leeds." said Peter side-eyeing his best friend.

"Well, you wanna tell me? Like, duh, I'm curious....but seems kind of rude to ask." said Ned sheepishly.

Peter laughed out loud, lol'd, if you will. "Honestly, now that I've just told you the worst part about it all, I think I can tell you the ugly details."

"Huh, where do I start," he said...

Peter said, "Well, A couple of years ago I had what is called-" Peter made the air quotes gesture "a psychotic break".

Ned gasped, "Waaaat? You're shitting me. When??!!! OMG...I KNOW. 7th grade."

Nodding his head knowingly, Peter continued, "Yep. Woke up. Thoughts bugs were crawling under my skin, tried to tear them out. With my hands."

"Waaaahhhhh" said Ned, mouth hanging open.

"Annnnywaaaay" Peter continued, "I was hospitalized. Sedated to the freaking gills. Tied down to the bed...the whole nine yards" He said the last past with eyes averted to the ceiling and a grimace on his face. "Yeah, it was bad, May doesn't even like to talk about it." Peter stated.

"I don't really remember any of that part though, so that's good, I guess." 

Peter paused for a minute to let that information sink into Ned's head.

Ned just continued to stare so Peter went on, "Met an amazing doctor, Dr.S. Got a diagnosis. Leveled out after two months. Came back to Earth. Started 8th grade."

"Woah....And you're all better now?" Ned asked with a hint of caution "Did the Spider bite fix you?" he asked in wonder.

Peter took in a big breath and exhaled. He leaned back on both his hands, "Honestly, I have no idea, I dunno. I'm too afraid to stop the meds. And can't tell May. Or my therapist...or my doctor."

"yeah...ok." Ned took a moment, looking down and taking a few breaths..."Can I ask whats wrong with you? Like are you bi-...bipolar? or something?"

"No...uh not that, but yeah, but it's got a stupid long name though. Its, uh... Schizoaffective disorder." Peter said, looking away, then slowly looking back to his friend. 

Peter and Ned were only 13 but they both knew the word 'schizo' had negative and crazy ass connotations. Crazy with a K sort of crazy.

But Peter looked at Ned again and barreled on, "and uh...my type is uh...complicated by a dissociative disorder and CPTSD, from uh....Skip."

"Woah dude....woah. That sounds heavy dude. Like really heavy." Ned breathed. "So you're like schizophrenic?"

"Um...yeah, and I have trouble keeping my moods level. Before my meds were figured out, I was manic sometimes and I'd dissociate, you know, space out a bit" Peter continued,

"and uh I started hearing voices telling me all sorts of stupid things. Uh...and before the meds I would see stuff too. Bugs mostly. Flying around, on the bed. You know...weird stuff."

Peter looked up to make sure Ned was looking at him "So now you know what I mean by 'If I start acting weird, tell me', right?"

Ned smiled big, "For sure dude. I get it. And no big deal Peter."

"It is a big deal Ned."

"I know Peter. But it's OK."

Ned picked up the GameBoy again, without looking at Peter, who had picked up his stitching again.

After about two minutes of silence, Ned said, "Those must be some bomb ass drugs, dude."

Peter gafawed, "Yeah man, I guess so".

"I'm glad you, May and your...doctor?...got it all figured out."

Peter smiled looking down at his suit, "Yeah me too man. And it is...for now. But this sort of thing can change. You know?"

"Yeah, I know" said Ned, "But now you have me looking out for you too!".


	5. May Reilly Plan A, B, C and D.

May Reilly had had a plan. Go to school. Maybe find a guy. Become a nurse. Work. Maybe get married. Travel the world. Retire on an island with her guy/dog. 

Her life didn't _exactly_ go to plan. 

Couldn't afford nursing school right out of high school, so she got her CNA certification instead.

She _did_ meet an amazing guy. Ben Parker.

Got married.

Then Richard and Mary Parker died in a plane crash. Just one year after she and Ben got married they found themselves with a baby boy, who they weren't ready for, but fell hopelessly, madly in love with anyway.

Money being saved for nursing school went to daycare instead. They'd save up for school...it was just gonna take a year or two longer. 

The Parkers started their own traditions: First day of school photos, Christmas morning waffles, Easter baskets filled with dried fruits and chocolate covered raisins, going to all the summer/spring/fall street festivals they could find, board game night, Saturday morning cartoons, Sunday afternoon walks in the park and ice cream cones. 

A few years went by and May finally got accepted into a 5 year combo undergrad/nursing program. 

Then Skip Westcott happened. 

Money went to lawyers and therapy.

Then Ben died. And then Peter got sick.

May dropped out nursing school. She cried (and cried. and cried some more) and mourned of course. But Peter was 11 years old and needed her. So, sometimes, she'd go into her bedroom, close the door, lay down and take a deep breath, close her eyes, and just breath her pain, worries, and sadness away. What else could she do? ... _Move onto the the next plan May_. You got this girl. Stop. Breath. Open your eyes. Get up. 

Money got tight. A CNA doesn't get paid for shit. But, honestly, she didn't care anymore. After losing Ben, what did money mean anymore? All she needed was someone to love and to care for. May had Peter, and, Peter had May.

Who could want for anything when they had the joy that was raising Peter B. Parker in their life? Peter was a source of inspiration every time she looked at him. Despite all the tragedy in his short life, he still smiled. And for Peter, his secret mission in life was to make May smile whenever he could. Two hurt and broken people finding their glue in the other.

So her shitty job was just that. A job. Her and Peter's apartment was their oasis. The weekends were their vacations. She made a home for him out of thrift shop finds and homemade comforts. They'd sit on the couch together and plan elaborate vacations they'd take one day while looking at glossy magazines. She'd try to cook foreign food. Burn it. Then they'd get take out and eat it sitting cross legged on the floor while watching trashy TV. Homemade granny square scratchy yarn blankets. Burnt oatmeal raisin cookies. Sleepovers with Ned. Lazy Sundays.

And May was constant in her love and care for Peter. His illness wouldn't allow any days off. No time for self-pity. _Every_ Sunday night, after Peter went to bed, she'd check the stock of all his meds. Call and leave a message for Dr. S's triage nurse if she needed any refills, and plan to pick them up if needed at the pharmacy down the block on Monday afternoon. Then she'd fill up the pill boxes with the week's morning and evening pills. It was a 14 section pill box. It had blue labels with the initial of each day, and with AM or PM stamped on it. 7 days with two sections each. 14 sections, about the size of a pencil box. Three pills in the AM, two pills in the PM and an extra box single dose 7 day box with M-F filled in, for him to take to the nurse at school with his mid-day dose. On the 1st of each month she administered a shot to Peter in the arm. Maybe one day he could get rid of the shot or one of the medications, but one of his biggest problems while he was in-patient was acknowledging that he needed medicine at all. 

Which was why, for now, he got the monthly shot and May administered his meds, and kept them all out of reach and under lock and key. After all the pills were counted out and organized, she'd put the bottles and syringes (if they were out) back into the lockbox Dr. S had given her and put them back into the highest cabinet above the refrigerator. The dose boxes were left on the kitchen counter by the toaster. If it was time, she'd pre-load a syringe with the palperidone and keep it in the fridge until the morning when Peter would pout and sit and grumble, but accept his fate, rubbing his arm afterwards and jokingly calling May his tormentor. 

One morning, 7 or 8 months after his diagnosis, Peter asked while putting a bandaid on the injection site, "Do you think I'll always need to do this May? Just to be normal?"

Neither May nor Peter really liked to talk about his mental illness, and Peter never was the one to bring it up.

May looked up as she recapped the disposable syringe and said "I really don't know, baby. But, you need it for now," as she tossed the capped syringe in the small sharps bin by the trash. "And the side effects have finally toned down, right? It's not so bad now."

"Yeah," he replied, "it's not so bad now. I can get a soda and it'll help with how tired it makes me today and tomorrow. And the other medicine really helps with the shakes. I swear, that's the worst part. The shakes make me look....ugh. I just hate them."

"I know, baby," said May walking around the table to give him a big hug, "but it's better than the alternative."

"I guess." He said with weariness in his tone.

May looked closely at her nephew. She knew him so well. He had that glint of doubt in his eyes. The doubt that he needed the medications. 

"Hey Pete," said May seriously, "Look at me baby." Peter had wrapped his arms around his Aunt. His head was tucked into her neck, but he reluctantly pulled away so he could look at her face.

"I larb you." she said. "And I larb all of you, stupid brain included."

"I know, I larb you too May, but I feel fine. Like, I really do. I feel like myself again. And this shot sucks so much butt. Maybe...."

May quickly cut him off "Peter. Peter, baby. This is important, Peter. I love you so much. And I know you don't understand why your brain can't be trusted, but it just can't be. OK, sweetie?" It was important, Dr. S. had told May, to always reiterate to Peter that his medicines were necessary to keep his brain chemistry in balance. 

May continued on, "Your chemistry is all sorts of fucked up and you need this medicine. OK? You _need_ it." She sighed as she said, "It was really hard to see you get sick baby. I know it might happen again, so I won't say, I can't handle it again."

Peter was looking down now, and May put her finger under his chin and tilted it up so she could see his face, " _but it was so hard to watch._ You were absolutely-crazy-shitballs delusional and it scared me Peter. It scared me so much."

"But it wasn't your fault. You know that right? Tell me you understand Peter."

Peter found it hard to keep looking at his Aunt, but he did. "Yeah, I know May. I'm so sorry I put you through that."

"No, Pete. That's what I mean. It wasn't your fault, you don't have to apologize. But you do need to understand that you need this medicine."

Peter sighed. "Yeah, I know May. It's just hard you know? No one else at school is like this, and I'm already....well...it's just hard."

Peter heaved his backpack on, "but you're right, the side effects are a lot better now. That second medicine really helps with the shakes so I can use my hands OK now, so that's good!"

"Anyway, I'll see you after school May," he said as he gave her a hug goodbye.

"I'm working 2nd shift again, so I'll be home late. Leftovers for dinner, yeah?"

"OK May, larb you."


	6. One of Those Days

(blink)

Peter woke up and slowly opened his eyes. Everything seemed far away. The ceiling was miles away. He could barely feel the mattress and sheets. Was he awake? Was he alive?

It was hard to tell sometimes. 

(blink)

May was sitting on the bed next to him. Saying....something. Her face looked....worried? Sad? Not neutral. Peter didn't know. 

(blink)

Everything was quiet. Breathe in. Breath out. 

(blink)

May was in a hurry to get to work. Peter was usually awake by now. Grabbing her piece of toast and purse she went to Peter's door and knocked. He'd have to get up soon if he was going to make his train to school. She knocked again and wondered to herself 'how late was this kid up?'

She paused one more minute before gently opening his door. Goodness knows she wanted to give a teenager their privacy, but she did have to get to work! His room was still bathed in morning shadows. 

"Peter, baby, it's time to get up." She walked into his room and over to his desk, she gently pulled opened the curtains above his desk. When she turned around she looked at him and paused. 

Oh. It was going to be one on _those_ days. She quietly walked out of the room and made three phone calls. First she called into work and took the morning off. Next she called Peter's school and let them know he was home sick. Lastly, she called Dr. S's office. It was early, so the call was automatically transferred to his emergency line.

Was this an emergency? Yes.

Was the patient in immediate danger of self harm or harm to others? No.

Please leave your name and number. OK.

May put her things- her purse, her work shoes, lunch bag, and her toast back on the kitchen table and walked back into Peter's room. She left the lights off, but turned on a small desk fan and pointed it at Peter's face. Then she sat down next to him on his bed and gently stroked his arm, her fingers gently brushing his skin.

"Hey baby, can you hear me?"

Peter lay on his bed, partially under the covers, eyes open. No one home. Breathing shallow and steady. Skin cool and soft, relaxed.

No response.

May continued her gently touches and soft voice. "Peter, can you come back sweetie? Baby? Do you feel me? I'm brushing your arm, just like you like."

"It's a beautiful day."

She switched from brushing his arms to running her fingers gently through his hair.

She heard her phone ring from the othedr room. "I'll be right back, Peter, that's just the doctor calling me back."

She went to answer her phone, taking a gentle, sad glance at Peter's form before walking out of his room and answering her phone.

Dr. Simoncec's voice came over the phone "Well, not such a great morning, then huh?"

May smiled as she said, "..."Hi, Doc. Yeah, it's me, May. Pete's 'ok', but he's checked out on us."

Dr.Simoncec asked a few questions, "How long has the episode been?"

"I'm not sure, doc. I just went to wake him up and he was already gone. So at least 10 minutes, but maybe a few hours? He's in his PJ's so I know he went to bed last night, but I came home late, so I'm not exactly sure. Sorry doc."

Dr. Simoncec assured her, "No, it's OK May. I'll be over in just a few minutes, I can easily take the train to you guys before heading over to the clinic. My first one-on-one isn't until 9."

May didn't hesitate to accept the incredibly generous offer.

Not many doctors made house calls, but May and Peter had really found a great one with Dr. S. He genuinely cared about his patients, and since his clinic was partially grant funded, he had the luxury of not being overloaded with patients to make a living. And with these dissociative episode of Peter's no one could really predict how he would 'come back'. On one terrifying occasion, he had come back violent and had badly sprained May's wrist and given herr a black eye. May didn't sweat it, but Peter was greatly traumatized and it took weeks of counseling to get him to look her in the eye or speak to her again. On other occasions he came back sad...or worst of all scared. But ever since the episode when he came back agitated, May always called Dr. S (on Peter's insistence) to make sure she was OK.

20 minutes later and Dr. S was at the door. He even had a small black leather bag with him. May had gotten it for him as a joke after the first time he made a home visit, but he genuinely loved it.

Dr. Matthew Simoncec was 38 years old, a tall man, with prematurely graying hair at his temples, only slightly noticeable because he wore his hair in a hipster, short on the sides, long on top style. He had the slight stoop that very tall people have. He wore the same thing every day. Some variation of a pale blue or green small checked or grid pattern long sleeve button down and khaki flat fronts with brown belt and shoes. All of it wrinkly. The only thing thing that wasn't consistent was if he wore a tie or not. Today was a tie day. A dark blue knit. Overall he gave the impression of a nice guy professional, because he was.

He got into psychiatry because his own mother was a poorly managed schizophrenic. She did her best, but modern psychiatry and pharmaceutics just hadn't had the research support that they have now. Not that there was an understanding now, but it was getting better. When he graduated from medical school and finished his residency in psychiatry he decided that pediatrics were what best suited him. Not necessarily because he loved kids (which he did!), but because at heart, he was a scientist, and the idea of being able to develop cutting edge pharmaceutical regimens for kids _before_ psychiatric disorders derailed their adult lives, was appealing. He could give the youngest patients a chance to get their mental illnesses in control, or at least managed well, so that they could leave full, productive adult lives. He was fortunate enough to have a research and consulting position with a hospital affiliated clinic. That's how he met Peter Parker, 2 years ago now, when he had been admitted in a delusional state. Peter's case had not been that difficult to diagnose (delusions of infestations of bugs, intense feelings of paranoia all point to schizophrenia) and with the added input from Peter's therapist, he tacked on dissociation complications. Which was presenting itself now.

Sure, he could give a diagnosis easily enough, but the real challenge was management. Balancing out a patient's pharmaceutical regimen as they went through puberty was not easy, doubly more challenging than when formulating a plan for adults. So, in his little black bag, he had some emergency meds ready for dosing. 

"Hey Doc. And good morning, thanks for coming."

"No problem at all May, glad I have the time this morning. And Peter is never trouble, you know that." He continued, "He's in his room?"

"Yeah, he's still in bed. I got the fan on and the curtains open."

He nodded as he walked towards Peter's room, "That sounds just fine, lets go see what our boy is up to, huh?"

He walked into the room and took in the situation in a quick glance. Peter was in bed, like May had said. He was slightly propped up, lying on top of two pillows, a book lying carelessly on the floor. Peter's gaze was beyond anything anyone else in the room saw. His breathing appeared normal, calm. His eyes did not scan or move about, looking only directly ahead, at nothing, blinking at slow intervals.

As he walked into the room, May followed. Matthew sat down on Peter's right and May walked over to sit on his left. Whereas May's attempts at drawing Peter back had been gentle, Dr. S. took a more direct approach, knowing he had all the tools to handle anything that Peter might bring back with him.

"Hey Pete, buddy, your Aunt May and I are here. We need you to come back, OK? I'm gonna squeeze your arms until you let me know you can feel it, OK?" He then proceeded to slowly reach out and grab Peter's shoulders. He put firm pressure on them, squeezing, with slowly increasing pressure, until Peter's breathing hitched. As soon as his breathing pattern changed, he let go of Peter.

"Hey there, Peter, you coming back?" No response. Doc then grabbed Peter's right foot and flexed it back until it probably started to hurt. Peter's leg flinched back and his eyes started darting about the room.

May immediately put herself into his line of sight. "Pete? You with me baby?"

Peter drew in a sharp deep breath and started breathing quickly, Dr. S, kept a steady watch on him, to make sure his breathing stayed within normal limits. Both he and May kept their hands off him at this point. They knew better than that now, after one too many violently triggered returns from dissociation. Peter squeezed his eyes shut and huffed through his breathing, he started quickly and rather forcefully shaking his head. He pulled his hands up and slammed them over his ears. A small keening noise escaped his lips, neither May nor the doctor could see his face.

May made a small sad noise and went to gently run her fingers through his hair, "Peter, peter, you're OK, baby, your're ok. I'm here. You just rest, ok?" She looked up at the doctor. He was already prepping a sedative from his little black bag.

Peter didn't even notice the doctor getting the sedative ready and didn't react when the doctor injected a half dose of the sedative into his thigh. 

"Just keep doing what you're doing May, this stuff should take effect real soon. He should just sleep for a few hours, nothing too strong".

Just as the doc said, about 30 seconds after he was given the shot, she could feel Peter's scalp relax and his breathing return back to normal. She gently cradled the back of his head with her hands as the doctor helped to uncurl Peter's body from the position it was in, as they both lay him back down to sleep. They pulled up his covers and tucked him in.

"OK, let's go talk in the kitchen for a minute, just leave the room as is. The fan is good and you should keep the room bright so he doesn't sleep in too long." the doctor said as he disposed of the spent syringe in Peter's bedside trash can and closed up his bag. He stood up and stretched his long back, as he walked back out into the cozy kitchen.

May closed Peter's door most of the way, leaving it slightly ajar. "Thanks so much Doc. Can you stay for a coffee?" May wrapped her arms around herself as she leaned against the kitchen counter.

"Sure, thanks" he said as he sat down at their kitchen table. May popped a k-cup into the machine and let it brew. She handed the chipped MOMA mug to the doctor. Then she put another k-cup into the machine and made herself a cup as well. Curling her fingers around her favorite flowery mug as she sat down opposite the doctor, she offered, "You want some breakfast? I have uh....Pop-tarts or a banana...hahaha sorry."

Matthew smiled, "No thanks. Just coffee is great."

They both took a sip before the doctor said, "Sylvia says Peter's been doing OK. How many of these episodes has he had lately? Any bad ones?"

May sighed, "He HAS been better. He's been great, as far as I know. I mean, it's taken a while for us to recover from losing Ben....but we've been good, you know? But, I have caught him in some smaller episodes. He's come back on his own from those though. Just some spacing out. Maybe...three times in the past couple of months?" 

"OK. Has he been sleeping? You know how important that is, he needs regular sleep."

May pursed her lips and thought for a moment, "yeah, if it's anything, I think that's it. I try to keep his schedule in check, but my own schedule is so crazy lately- I've taken a lot of third shifts lately."

The doctor caught May eyes, "You guys doing ok? I can see about getting you guys more vouchers for the counseling center."

May smiled, she was not ashamed of their financial situation. "Oh, no it's not that, we have enough of those, they are an absolute god send, by the way. But I think we may have to cut back on the sessions with Sylvia. Her practice got bought out by an HMO and she doesn't have the flexibility to give us the extra sessions for free anymore. So Pete will be seeing her every other week and you once a month starting this month. We can just swing that."

Matthew nodded his head in understanding. Navigation of the for-profit nature of the American healthcare system was almost a full-time job in itself. May and Peter were incredibly lucky to have access to the resources they did- and it was because Peter was a minor and also because May was considered an "underserved" population. It was also one of the reasons May had not adopted Peter.

A while ago, May had considered adoption, but when Peter got sick, Sylvia and Dr. S had advised her that if Peter was adopted then his healthcare coverage would be the sole responsibility of May, through her private insurance, which she had through work- it wasn't great. It had a huge deductible and only allowed for 4 counseling sessions in a 6 month period and had no psychiatric coverage at all. However, if she kept Peter as a foster child, and remained his long term guardians then they could have access to a lot of state supported programs, reduced rate prescription plans, and Peter could remain a patient at his clinic. So that's what she did.

That's not to say that it was all free though. And a single CNA salary could barely support one adult. Let alone one adult, one child and said child's private practice therapy sessions and prescription co-pays. So some adjustments might have to be made in their future. 

As the doc took once last scalding gulp of coffee as he stood up, he said, "OK, that's still sounds alright for now. I'm not worried about one or two dissociative periods a year, and if he can bring himself back from the smaller ones, then that's all I care about for now."

He looked around for his bag and opening it, "I'll leave you with these sleep aid samples. They don't have any cross reactions with his existing meds. But only use them if you need to, of course. He needs to sleep regularly May."

"Anyway, I gotta head into the clinic now. He should be up pretty soon. Don't worry too much, and if you do just call me. Otherwise I'll see him...on the 17th? I dunno, next Friday, that's all I know, I'll see him then."

May stood up too, "sure thing doc. Thanks again, I'm sure he'll be fine when he wakes up. Maybe he'll even be able to make his afternoon classes. He'd hate to miss decathlon, and that's today too."

Matthew nodded, "Sure, just let him decide. It is important that he try to maintain his schedule, but he may get overwhelmed after this morning, even if it was a pretty mild episode."

After she saw the doctor out, May settled down onto the couch and read the book she'd been trying to get through for the past month. It was due back at the library soon and this was as good an opportunity as any other to try and finish it.

Six chapters later a groggy Peter emerged from his room.

"May?" he said squinting at the mid morning light,

"Oh, hey Peter! You awake now honey?"

Peter looked around confusedly, "Yeah...what's going on? Did I sleep in? Why did you let me sleep in?"

May stood up and placed her arms on either side of Peter's arms and rubbed them up and down vigorously. "You had a little dissociative episode honey."

Peter's eyes immediately went wide and he started to stammer out an apology, "May! I'm so sorry!, Did you have to miss work? Gosh May, I'm so sorry...."

May cut him off, "Don't be silly Peter, you know it's OK. Work is fine with me missing the morning, I can make it up another day." she smiled.

"All I care about is you, and you needed me this morning." She followed Peter as he walked to the kitchen to grab some food.

Cautiously she said, "Do you remember Doc being here?"

Peter stopped mid Pop-tart bite, "Ugh...May...you had to call Doc? It was that bad? So embarrassing." 

May laughed, "Yeah, I'd be embarrassed too if my room was that messy. Yeah, I called him and No it wasn't that bad. We got to have a cup of coffee together, you know we enjoy catching up. He's such a good man."

"You wanna tell me anything Pete? Are you doing OK? Do we need to talk about anything?"

Peter took stock of himself for a minute before answering. School was good. He, Ned and MJ were solid. Flash was Flash. Sylvia and he were working on his time management skills. He knew he had to maintain a good sleep schedule, which was why he had to take a sedative nightly, but he and Sylvia were working on it too.

He didn't know whether to tell May that he knew why he had dissociated.

The school assigned reading. The book that was on the floor of his room. A lot of school books were about dystopian futures, far distant war-zones, or in this case, a child growing up in poverty and an abusive home. Books like these were supposed to teach kids empathy, but in Peter's case, it caused a flashback followed by a dissociative episode. Not that Peter grew up in poverty, but he was a childhood sexual assault "CSA" survivor. Most kids didn't experience the abuse and constant fear that had plagued Peter for a time. But he had, and sometimes he had flash backs wherein he could feel Skip's arms on him. Skip's breath on his neck, the dirty feelings that flooded over him, overwhelmed him. And when this happened he would dissociate.

Another thing that Doc S and Sylvia were _constantly_ working on with Peter, was his reluctance to ask for help, and his ability or lack thereof to identify when he needed help. He was supposed to be learning that if he wasn't sure, THEN IT WAS ALWAYS OK TO ASK FOR HELP. ASK FOR HELP. _ASK FOR HELP._

So, obviously, Peter decided that he wouldn't do any such thing. He could skip the school reading, asking Ned for help with the summary, and not worry May with having to call the school to excuse him from work, he'd hate that. "No, May, I'm good. I don't have anything going on. Honest. Just one of those days I guess"

May looked skeptical, but took him at his word, "OK hun. Look, it's only 11:00 right now. I can make the other half of my shift and you can get lunch and your afternoon classes and decathlon practice still. Sound good?"

"For sure May, I feel fine now. You go on to work, I can get to school! I'll see you tonight!"

...

Well, there is a reason he can't be trusted to make his own medical decisions.


	7. The Magnificent MJ

Note: I wasn't super pleased with the abrupt ending to the previous chapter, so I backed it up just a little bit here. Also, this is a bit of a filler chapter, I promise some angst is coming up soon!

Peter and May sat at the small kitchen table, Peter picking at a Pop-Tart. May was sipping on her coffee, gripping the flowering mug and savoring it's warmth. She tilted her head, examining her nephew.

"Peter honey, you're sure you're ok? You're not hungover from the shot Dr. S gave you?" she asked.

"Yeah Aunt May, I'm sure. I'm not even tired. It wasn't a bad episode. You should go on to work. And, really, I feel fine to go to school," he said. And oddly, he meant it. He hadn't realized he'd been sedated. He barely remembered the few minutes that he was awake before the dissociative episode hit, and definitely didn't remember anything after that, until he woke up. huh. He didn't feel the least bit hungover. He felt fine, in fact.

May looked him up and down and gave a final short nod of her head. She gulped the final dregs of her coffee and said warily, "OK baby, but you call me if you need anything, I'm gonna probably be back late tonight."

She stood up and reached past him and grabbed his pill box from the counter, "And take your morning doses."

Peter took the box from her hands and popped open lid on the morning's tiny box and tipped the pills out into his hand. He grabbed the glass of water that was ever present on the counter next to where the box had been and obediently swallowed them. And by habit he opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue so she could see they were gone. And by habit, she looked into his mouth to be sure they were gone. When he had been hospitalized, there had been checks and double checks to make sure the patients were taking their meds. It had been soooo annoying, but given that Peter had bypassed the precautions several times, sabotaging his own care...they were totally necessary. And the habit by both Peter and May stuck, and if Peter hadn't shown her his empty mouth, then she would have asked to see. 

With a final hug and kiss, Peter helped May with her things and saw her out the door, for the second half of her shift.

He grabbed a another Pop Tart for the road as he gathered his backpack and homework assignments from his bedroom and headed out the door for the rest of the day.

By the time he caught a train to school and checked himself into school it was lunchtime.

Nurse Carol heard him in the front office and poked her head out from her little clinical room. "Peter! You made it! Your Aunt called you in sick this morning, I guess it was a false alarm?"

"Oh Hi! Ms. Carol.... yeah, I just needed a bit of a lie in. I feel much better now. Don't worry- no fever or puking!"

Nurse Carol nodded her head and asked, "You need your school meds today?"

"Oh no, I just dosed actually, so I'm OK until tonight. Thanks though."

Peter finished signing himself back in and made his way to the cafeteria where he looked for his best friends, Ned and MJ. He scanned the crowded lunch room until he saw Ned and MJ seated together. He quickly walked that way as a friend here and there greeted him --"Hey Pete!" "Miss the first 10 trains Parker?" "Why so late Parker?" "You gonna stay for decathlon?"

The shout outs got the attention of MJ and Ned and they both looked up and broke into big smiles when they saw Peter approaching them. Peter plopped down and slung his backpack onto the bench next to himself. "Whew, made it! Hey guys! I miss much?"

MJ said, "Hey Loser. No, you didn't miss much. I grabbed your English notes, and Ned got your Chem notes and assignments."

"Cool thanks guys." MJ slid over her half eaten lunch tray and let Peter take what he wanted. He picked up the fruit cup, peeled back the lid and started eating right from it.

"Thanks MJ!" he slurped.

"Manners, Parker. Gross." she said as she rolled her eyes.

"What's going on? How come you missed this morning?" asked Ned

Peter took a moment to decide what to tell his two best friends. MJ had joined their little group a few months ago and Peter trusted her. He even told her that he saw a therapist and suffered from PTSD on occasion. So she and Ned were both aware of his mental health issues. Ned knew about the hallucinations and all the meds he needed,and since Peter was having a good morning despite the dissociative episode, he decided that it was a good time to let MJ know about some of his "issues."

"I, uh, I had a dissociative episode this morning I guess." He said as he finished the fruit cup.

MJ tilted her head and asked, "what's that? If you don't mind my asking?" She was very direct like that, she wasn't afraid to ask what she didn't know.

Peter shook his head, feeling more and more sure that he made the right decision to open up to MJ... "No, no, I don't mind! .... well, It's like I kind of space out. Sometimes I can feel myself kind of ...floating? I guess...away and stuff, but I can usually snap back into myself OK. Like I have these exercises my therapist taught me to refocus on my surroundings and stuff. But...sometimes, I just completely..it's called, 'dissociate' and disconnect from my body, I guess, and it's really hard to get back. Like, I just kind of check out..you know? I dunno, sometimes it happens when I'm stressed out or too tired, I have to pay attention, to stay in the present sometimes and sometimes I can't and I dissociate."

He took a look at MJ and seeing her bright brown eyes, and soft hair surrounding her face, I bet her skin is so soft, (focus Parker!), he continued on "Ned knows all this...." Peter took a look at Ned and Ned was nodding his head and he said to MJ,

"Oh, yeah, but just a little bit, I mean, I'm not sure I understand all that much." MJ had turned to Ned to listen to what he had to say, and turned back to Peter, "So what? What are you trying to say here? It's totally cool Parrker. You know I don't care."

Peter nodded his head, he grabbed his backpack from the bench next to him and plopped it on the table in front of him, leaning his chin to rest on it. He gave a big exhale and continued, "Basically, it happens because I have a really shitty history of shitty stuff happening to me."

"Do you know what a CSA survivor is?" he asked MJ

MJ gave a sad small smirk and said quietly, "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

And for one of the first times Peter could remember she looked a bit lost and flustered.

MJ ducked her face and stuttered, "Well, not from first hand experience, but from my psychology class studies. You know?" She had started twisting the sleeves of her shirt in her hands, nervously looking down and back up at Ned and Peter.

Peter helped her out and said,"Its OK MJ. It was a long time ago. It was all over by the time I was 10."

"Holy SHIT Peter. 10? Jesus titty fucking Christ." MJ exclaimed quietly. "Really?"

"Really, really." Peter said. He lay his face down and looked at his friends, "I promise I'm OK. These dissociative episodes just happen sometimes."

"Anyway, when I dissociate like I did this morning, I need help sometimes becoming aware of my surroundings again. I don't really know, it's only happened a couple of times, and May, doc or Sylvia has always been with me or there when I came back anyway."

Ned turned to MJ, "Yeah, I've seen Peter have little space out episodes, but they don't last long. You'll probably see it every once in a while, if you keep hanging out with us losers."

MJ looked contemplative, "Is there anything we need to know so we can help?"

Ned vigorously nodded his head in agreement, "Yeah dude, just let us know!"

Peter smiled. He felt so lucky that MJ decided that he and Ned were going to be her friends, she really was the best.

"Thanks MJ. Um...I think mostly, I just have to take care of myself. My doctor is always telling me that I have to make sure I get enough rest. The CSA stuff is part of the reason I have to make sure I take of myself."

(And despite his Spider-Manning activities, he really did consciously try to get enough rest. _This_ Peter Parker did not patrol past midnight if he couldn't be sure to sleep in the next morning. He was at least trying to maintain some level of self care that his therapist would approve of, if not the nightly heroic activities.)

"But WAIT, there's MORE!" he said. He looked to Ned and asked the question 'should I tell her _everything everything??'_ with his eyes.

Ned answered with his eyebrows, ' _she's cool. You know you can tell her"_

MJ glanced between the two nerds and said "It's rude to talk in code in front of other people, dorks."

"Sorry", Peter said sheepishly, "But wait! There's more! hehehe."

"I mean, " he stuttered, "There's the stuff that happened when I was a kid, the CSA stuff, but then uh, my Uncle was killed in front of me a few years ago, when I was 11... and my doctor thinks all that stuff contributed to uh... a psychotic break I had at the end of last year. So, now I have to take a lot of meds and uh stuff, to uh... you know... not uh hallucinateinaschizophrenicepisode. ...uh....Auditory and visual." Now he was the one to pull and twist at his shirtsleeves.

"Yeah, OK that it. That's all. You know it all now." he finished lamely.

MJ had stopped her own fidgeting and was sitting quietly, taking it all in. "But...you're OK now?" She didn't know what else to say. It was a lot of information to take in. 

Peter sat up a little bit straighter and nodded his head. "Oh, yeah!. I mean, apart from the random (or maybe not so random) dissociative episode, I haven't had any ' psychotic episodes'--" he made the air quotes sign, "--in a long time. Since just before Christmas!" Peter said cheerfully. He wanted to try and make sure MJ knew that he was OK, he just wanted to be treated as normally as possible, considering the circumstances.

Peter looked down and away from his friends, and continued, "but uh... Yeah...I guess I do have a favor to ask....that has to do...probably, I mean, I'm not sure... with this morning."

Peter continued, "um...can one of you guys finish the English reading assignment for me? The story might have sent my stupid brain places it didn't want to go, and it would.."

"Of course Parker, no problem" said MJ reassuringly. If she was one to reach out and grasp hands, she might have.

"You probably don't want my notes, they're pretty bad." said Ned, "you should definitely take MJ's if she's offering."

"Just this one time, Parker" she said, smirking. The air between the friends had become relaxed again, the charge from the unveiling of secrets dissipating.

"Thanks for telling me Peter." You knew MJ was serious if she called you by your name.

Peter smiled, so happy that his two best (ok, only) friends were now aware of the extent of his mental illness. It's not that he was necessarily ashamed or scared of telling them, it was just such a weird topic to broach and most of the time, totally unrelated to their friendship. But he felt that that friendship was so much stronger now that they knew. 

The bell rang just then and the three friends gathered their trash and school things. All the students in the lunch room had stood up and were moving around simultaneously, creating a type of normal havoc and ebb and flow of students leaving different exits of the room.

In the chaos, MJ leaned conspiratorially in between Ned and Peter, wrapping her arms around both of their shoulders, and quietly said--

"For a second there I thought you were finally going to tell me that you were Spider-Man." She quickly withdrew her arms and crossed them in front of her and leaned back to examine the look on the boys' faces.

Ned and Peter both comically froze in their tracks. "Wha- what?" they both exclaimed, doing the Scooby-Do double take with huge eyes.

MJ threw back her head and laughed out loud, grabbing the attention of the other students around them, "Smell ya' later losers. Don't be late for decathlon." she said as she spun away in a flurry of long curly hair and the smell of meadows and.... (focus Peter!)

Peter heard her laughing all the way out into the hallway. 'Wow', he thought. 'She's the best.'


	8. Yeah, It's a Filler Chapter

**[text thread]**

**MJ: Yo P. That was heavy. What u said at lunch today. Thx friend**

**PP: figured you should know. Also, how'd u know re: spider activities?**

**Leeds: Not it.**

**PP: Leeds ur a leaky bucket.**

**Leeds: 'twasn't me!**

**MJ: 'twasn't. Boys r dumb. That's how.**

**MJ: how long?**

**PP: To what to do you refer m'lady? 1) 'dealin' since 7th grade as schizo. 2) Had PTSD since 10yrs , from shithead babysitter yrs 9-10. 3) Oscorp field trip last year-- > spider**

**MJ: ... I can't even**

**...**

**MJ: Don't ever M'lady me. Or anyone. Ever. 1) meds help? Any sideffs, what do Leeds and I need to do to help? 2) .... 3) Parker luck sux donkey.**

**PP: in haiku form: I hallucinate**

**If my meds are not working**

**Invisible bees**

**Leeds: dude**

**MJ: kthxbai gnite losers**

**PP: gnite and thx. for not running to the hillz.**

The school year was winding down. Summer fever was starting to kick in. Peter had had a good year. Other than the slight medication adjustment around Christmas time, his mental illness was under control.

No voices in his head telling him to eat shit and die, or telling him to stab himself with a knife. That was big one. Sometimes the voices and his brain had told him that a sane person would stab themselves because it would prove that they could control their thought processes. It would show control. Only an insane person would _not_ be able to control themselves and being able to stab yourself and overcome primal fear would show ultimate control... right? RIght? Tricky brain. 

But he hadn’t heard any of those voices in a while. No insects under his skin. 

Just school and friendly neighborhood Spider-Man-ing. 

**\-------**

Later that month Tony Stark came to his and Aunt May's apartment. He went to Germany with TONY STARK.

FOUGHT CAPTAIN AMERICA.

WAT.

What was his life?

\-------

**World's most succinct summary:**

**(Author's note/wish: The Rogues never went rogue. Yes, they fought in Germany, but Barnes never killed Tony's 'rents. They fought, they made up, they made Ross pay for trying to tear the team apart. Fight me. Most of them came back to live with Tony in the Tower. Clint is deaf, doesn't have a secret family. Nat is awesome. Barnes is a good bro. Cap is a good bro. Sam is a good bro. Rhodey is the best bro. Vision and Wanda won't be in this story. Also, In the US, Homecoming is in the Fall, and that didn't fit my timeline so...Prom).)**

After Germany it was time for junior Prom Peter never got up the nerve to ask out MJ and didn't know what their friendship was exactly. So he asked Liz, and almost peed his pants when she said 'Yes'. Then because his Parker Luck sucked donkey, his Prom date's dad turned out to be an arms dealer he had been tracking. Of course. But, Peter being Peter, he saved Tony’s cargo and helped capture The Vulture. Even after Tony took away his suit.

Tony offered him a spot on the Avengers. Peter turned him down, politely.

Tony really did take Peter under his wing though, and truly started mentoring him. Peter had turned him down for the Avengers, but that didn't mean he was not going to be in Peter's life. Tony Stark knew potential when he saw it. Happy started bringing Peter to the Tower (which was never sold, just renovated, ha!) every couple of days.

Tony got to know that Peter was _brilliant_. And kind. And funny, goofy, giving, and amazing. Tony only had ever let his Bruce, Rhodey-bear, Pepper and Happy into his lab. But now Peter was in that select group too. Tony had started out just helping Peter with his Spider-Man suit and working on Spider-Man upgrades together. But after seeing how incredibly intelligent and innovative the boy was, he started working on the Iron Man suits and the Avengers tech with Peter too.

Most of Tony's time, when not in board meetings or executive meetings that Pepper made him attend, was spent on Stark Industries R&D or Avengers tech R&D. Peter would get dropped off at the Tower, grab himself a snack from the main kitchen floor before heading up to Tony's private labs. They'd talk about Peter's patrols and work on the Spider-Man suit. Over a few weeks and months...magic, would be the word...happened. 

Tony...well, Tony fell in love.

Tony and Pepper had never talked about having kids (their relationship was only a year or two old, and frankly, Tony never thought of himself as the father-ing type, considering what kind of relationship he had with his dad).

But. Tony Stark had never fallen in love with anyone as thoroughly and quickly as he fell in love with The Kid, Peter Parker.

_______

(Author's note: Not Starker. Just... no.)


	9. What they saw

**Rhodey:**

A few weeks after Peter started his "internship" in earnest he was late for a lab day. No big deal, there was an extra decathlon practice before a the final competition of the year, but Peter had forgotten to tell Tony. 

Tony was working on two and a half days of not sleeping. In his favorite jeans and wearing two layered tees, he was deeply concentrating on his latest project. Head down, music blaring, focused working on the latest update to be released for the Stark Phone, when he felt...odd. Something was missing.....a noise. A presence. Oh. The Kid.

"Friday, where's the kid?" he asked.

"Peter Parker is not in the building" the AI replied.

"No shit, Call Happy, Friday."

A few moments later Happy was on the phone.

Without a proper greeting Tony spoke without looking up from his work, "Where's the kid Happy?"

Happy audibly sighed from his end of the line, "Boss, check your VM. He told me he had to miss today. Some extra after school thing. I dunno. I called you three times to tell you. You never answered. I had to leave a VM. Don't get your panties in a twist, your kid will be back in the lab tomorrow."

"My panties are not in a twist and he is not my ki --" Happy promptly hung up on him.

Huh. Tony thought. He checked his VM, he did indeed miss 3 calls from Happy and 2 texts from Peter saying he had to miss today and would it be OK if he just came tomorrow.

He sat down on his stool and looked forlornly at his work. He didn't feel like working on it anymore. 

Of course this is when and how Rhodey would walk in on him. Rhodey had swiped his SI ID badge through the scanner on the outside of the glass doors and strolled into the lab. He was casually dressed in jeans and a USAF tee. His braces making quiet noises as he strode in. 

"Tony, what's wrong, whats the matter?" the man exclaimed at the sight of his friend sitting motionless and staring sadly at his phone.

Tony abruptly looked up, "What do you mean? Nothing's wrong!" he shook his head back a forth quickly, and opened and closed his eyes wide while rubbing at them. He had just hung up the phone, well, put down his phone after Happy hung up on him.

"Well then how come I just walked in to find you staring at your phone looking like you just watched someone kick your puppy?"

"Huh? What are you talking about Platypus?" Tony said distractedly, walking around aimlessly around the lab, picking up a tool here and putting it down there. "I'm fine, nothing's wrong."

Rhodey did not look convinced. "Uh huh. Then tell me who that was on the phone just now. You only talk to me, Happy and Pepper and you don't look pissed off enough for it to have been Ross."

At the mention of Secretary Ross' name, Tony made a gagging sound and mouthed 'ugh, as if.'

"Not that it's any of your business, it was Happy." Tony then sheepishly admitted, "He was just telling me that Peter can't make it for lab time today."

To his credit, Rhodey didn't laugh at his friend. That was about the sweetest shit he had ever seen right there now bro. He took a good look at his friend, and he had to admit, Tony looked kind of lost.

His best friend looked crushed that the kid couldn't make their play date. But being the bigger, better, and more kind friend, he just said, "That stinks man. I know you like hanging out with the kid, but don't you have work to do man?" he asked.

Tony was sitting and spinning on a stool flinging various bits and pieces of stuff around the room, "Whatever. It's fine. He'll be back tomorrow. Just don't feel like working anymore. 'Smore fun with the kid around."

"Dum-E, pick this stuff up. Make yourself useful." Tony sighed. "Yeah, I have work to do. Pepper has about a million things in that-" he pointed to a very full and disheveled portfolio on his workbench "-pile of paper for me to review and sign."

He continued to spin on the stool, "Don't feel like looking at it now. It's just gonna give me a headache." Tony dragged his feet along the floor until his spinning came to a stop. He picked up a random gauntlet and started pulling it apart. Then listlessly dropped it back onto the workbench and sighed dramatically. 

"I'm fine. I mean, he'll be back tomorrow. He's got other stuff to do." Tony rambled.

"Like you do?" Rhodey interjected, earning an eyeroll from Tony.

"I mean, I just had plans for today is all. I was gonna show him some new ideas I have for the Mark 42, I need to increase the repulsor output and work out some kinks in the boot propulsion systems and he's helpful, just a good sounding board, you know? . He's always got some good input and now I can't...and --"

Rhodey rolled his eyes at his friends antics. He grabbed tony by the arm and said, "Man, you are a mess. Come upstairs if you're just gonna pout. We'll get cheeseburgers. Pepper sent me down to collect the paperwork you were _supposed to look over_ but seeing as you refuse, let's get out of here. But when we get back, you are doing all that stuff, I am NOT getting on Pepper's bad side." 

________

**Happy:**

Happy wasn't that thrilled when Tony said to him a few months ago, "Hey Happy, you're gonna start picking up Peter after school and bringing him to the Tower a couple of days a week, yeah?" He had just picked up Tony from an investors meeting and they were stuck in downtown Manhattan traffic. Tony had loosened his purple silk tie and taken off his matching purple lens sunglasses. He was exhausted. The meeting had gone well. But he found that more and more recently, putting up the patented Tony Stark Smile was getting harder, cost more energy than it used to. Endless and pointless conversations in a self-congratulatory circle jerk, coaxing rich megalomaniacs into parting with the money and staying on the board of SI. How did he ever do this full time?

For the last 15 minutes however, he had been deep into some business on his phone, the most important negotiation of the day, as far as he was concerned.

Happy didn't know it, but Tony was currently in negotiations with May Parker for some of her nephews time. May and Tony actually got along _great_ . May was an astute woman. She saw right through his flashy facade, and to be honest, it kind of frightened Tony. Just a little bit. OK, maybe she scared him a lot. After the Vulture fiasco, May walked in on Peter, who _hadn't even shut his bedroom door_ , in the Spider-Man outfit, that Tony Stark had dropped off. So yeah, no secrets between the three of them now.

And sitting in traffic, Tony was finishing up the so-called negotiations in which he would/could 1) make sure Peter had access to appropriate technology for Spider-Man 2) make sure the teen balanced school, lab/intern/mentor time, and homework 3) agreed who called the final shots regarding _anything_ to do with Peter, his health, his time, and his schoolwork-- hint: It's May. 

Happy looked into the rear view mirror and saw that with a flourish and big smile, Tony had sent off a final text-- 

"Are your telling me or asking me Boss?" Happy replied snarkily and with a dead look in his eyes.

Tony smiled his biggest smile, looking up from his phone and said, "Telling." He had just come to an agreement with May that Peter could come to the lab up to three evenings a week and spend the occasional night over on the weekends if Peter so desired and/or/if May was out of town.

"You serious boss? I know he did a good job with that Vulture guy-" Happy looked and sounded doubtful.

"Let's not mention that asshat or those events anytime soon, ok?" Tony interrupted. 

Happy gave him a pointed look and continued, "I know the kid did a good job with the Vulture, but he turned you down on being an Avenger right Boss? Did I miss something?"

Tony paused before speaking, "No. No you didn't miss anything. But I was being sincere when I said I would mentor him. I did a shitty job of it before and I'm gonna try. He's...he's a good kid."

A few minutes passed in silence and traffic finally started moving again. Happy made eye contact in the rear view mirror with his boss, and said "Yeah. He is. Don't fuck this up again Tony."

Tony looked his friend just as straight in the eye and said seriously, "I won't."

A beat later and Happy's eyes were on the traffic in front of him again and he said, "School's out at 3:15 right? He coming over today? I gotta go get a different car if I'm gonna get him today. Doubt the kid would want me pulling up to his school in a Bentley."

"Yeah, text him to remind him though. Thanks Hap." Tony said. He brought up his hand to his mouth and bit his thumbnail as he helplessly and hopelessly smiled, looking out at the window at the passersby and shopfronts. It felt good to do the right thing. And to Tony it felt like this was the beginning of something good. And maybe wonderful.

_______

Every couple of days, Tony would tell Happy that the kid would be coming over. They had to fit lab time in between Peter's other activities, like decathlon (and unbeknownst to Tony, his counseling and doctor appointments) and Spider-Manning. Happy would text The Kid to confirm and wait for him in front of the school. The bell would ring and kids would eventually pour outside the front doors. Peter would bound down the stairs usually with Ned and/or MJ by his side. If the weather was nice, Happy would be waiting for Peter leaning on the outside of the car, looking quite grumpy. The kid would bounce over and greet him cheerfully.

"Hi Happy! Thanks for coming for me! How are you? Have you had a good day? Do you know what Mr. Stark and I are gonna do today? Does he have any plans? What lab are we-" Peter would spew as he opened the back passenger side door and fling his backpack onto the seat before sliding in and shutting the door.

Happy rolled his eyes grumbling about how this was not part of his job. Getting into the car, he'd say "Kid. Shut up. I don't know."

Then he'd roll the partition up. At first it kind of hurt Peter's feelings, but then he figured out it was just how Happy was. He didn't mean it. 

After a few weeks of this sort of interaction, Happy would leave the partition down.

Then a few weeks after that he'd actually ask Peter how his day was, and he really cared. How could he not?

Peter could be relentless in his optimism and happy disposition. It got to you at some point. Eventually Happy started to be protective of the kid. The urge to protect the kid's kindness and innocence was powerful and not to be reckoned with. Peter was just _so good_. 

At some point, Happy realized that he would do anything for Tony's kid.

________

**Pepper:**

Pepper dealt with a lot over the years. First working for Tony Stark as his EA. Then becoming his girlfriend. Then becoming the CEO of SI. She was brilliant, powerful, amazing, and in control. Tony was brilliant too. But he was- unpredictable, spontaneous, and sometimes his motives were unclear. Not to Pepper or Rhodey of course, but to people who didn't know him. Those people sometimes couldn't see past his drunken past, his flashy lifestyle, his apparently flippant nature.

He, the man himself, was distracting, it was true. After Tony became Iron Man though, his motives did genuinely change for the better, but not his methods. He was abrupt, could be unforgiving, and didn't have a lot of patience for people that got in the way of his plans or couldn't keep up with his intellect. 

She saw from the front lines how Peter Parker changed all that. Tony would perk up like a puppy when he knew Peter was coming over. It was the sweetest thing. He kept the kitchen stocked with ridiculous snacks that only Peter (and Clint and Thor) would want. PopTarts, Kraft mac n cheese, Cheez-its and bags and BAGS of candy. Everyone staying in the Tower noticed, but didn't say anything. If they also found giant bowls of fresh fruit, water, and platters of cut up vegetables laying around- well they could thank Pepper for that. 

Tony didn't seem to have any limit to the amount of chatter and questions he could tolerate coming from the 14 year old child. She had never seen Tony exhibit as much patience with anyone as he did for Peter.

Pepper loved how kind, polite and smart Peter was. She knew he was Spider-Man too and was impressed by his determination to help "the little guy". She saw that Peter was so much...so so much like Tony. Just....more polite and too thoughtful for his own good. But the teenager had the same manic energy, the same limitless enthusiasm for work, the same tendency to neglect himself if he got lost in his work.

Now she had two boys she had to "manage". Hopefully she could keep Peter from picking up on Tony's bad self care habits. But truthfully, having Peter around was almost a guarantee that at least for that day, Tony would get a decent dinner and stop work at a decent hour.

She was never the type to yearn for a child or to get baby fever. She had other, just as valid, priorities. But seeing Tony interact with Peter filled her with a joy she hadn't predicted. And she was a planner, so that's saying something. 

Tony became a patient parent, there was no there word for it, when Peter was around. Tony made sure the boy ate, did his homework, and slept (hypocrite!). It surprised the hell out of her. But made her so happy to see these changes in Tony.

After a few months of witnessing The Change, she kindly confronted him. They were having a quiet salad and pasta dinner up in their private dining room. Both dressed in casual clothes. She had changed out of her pencil skirt and sky-high heels once she walked into the penthouse. She had told Tony she wanted a nice quiet, _clean_ dinner and made Tony change out of his grease stained tee and get a shower. They were now both refreshed and sitting down to a nice meal that Pepper had whipped up. Peter had been over earlier and Tony was in a great mood since they had had a productive session.

"So, Peter was over today?" she asked, taking a sip of her wine.

"Hm? Yeah, the kid and I are working on the Mark 42. He's helping me upgrade the repulsors and some other stuff."

Pepper thoughtfully chewed her food and said without looking at him, "So he's a good kid, huh?"

Tony put down his fork of pasta and just smiled, "Oh, Pep, you have no idea. He's so smart. Chemistry's his real Thing, and once Bruce gets back into town, I'm gonna introduce them. But for now, he's working just with me in my lab, and he's just so quick. He's picked up on the mechanics of the suit and his Spider suit pretty well. Kid's 14 and already figuring out stuff post-docs are doing. He's got some good new ideas too. He doesn't have enough background or first hand to really flesh those ideas out yet, but, you know, the hardest part is the coming up with ideas. Not the engineering, you can learn that. You can't learn creativity. That school of his is doing him a disservice I think, but he wants to stay with his friends." He leaned back in his chair and continued, "See? The kid's always making the right decision." He shook his head, picked up his fork and continued eating.

Pepper didn't think Tony had any idea how his whole demeanor changed when he spoke about Peter Parker. His face relaxed, a smile came to his face and he looked...just more...open. Every time. She reached out and touched his arm to get his attention. "Tony, I'm so glad you found Peter. I don't think you realize just how much you've changed since he's been coming to visit."

Tony looked sheepishly down at his hands, "He's a good kid Pep. You don't mind? I know that we've never talked about having kids....but.... but I think this is my chance. My chance to be...I dunno. Gosh, I don't even know if he feels the same...but I just I feel like this is my chance to be his...father-figure..person."

Pepper gasped a little, "Oh Tony, I..I had no idea you felt so strongly about him. Of course, it's OK. Of course!"

She started eating her pasta again and looked him in the eye saying, "And anyone, ANYONE, that has seen the way that kid looks at you knows he thinks of you in the same way."

Tony looked at her doubtfully and hopefully at the same time, "Really? You think so?"

Pepper laughed out loud, a wonderful sparkling sound, "Yes, Tony. Yes. Peter loves you and thinks the world of you."

Tony just looked at her with a slightly disbelieving face. His thoughts turned to his past and everything he had done to not deserve people like Pepper Potts and Peter Parker in his life. He reached out and grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze, "I don't know what I did to deserve you Miss Potts."

"Mr. Stark, you deserve the world. I love you," she said leaning over and giving him a small kiss. He closed his eyes and smiled at the small affection. When he opened his big brown eyes again, he actually teared up a little and he said, "He's the best of all of us Pep. He's everything that's right with the world. And I just want to be there for it." 

_________

Author's notes: OK folks. I think, THINK, I finally laid down all the groundwork (ridden with holes as it is) for the story to start. hahaha. I had just imagined a one-shot of Tony and Peter angst...and here we are on Chapter 9. Ha!

\-------


	10. Snap Shots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is a chapter of snap shots, mostly a way for me to lay (even) more groundwork to get the story moving.

Author's notes: WIC = Women, Infants, and Children (government supported low income benefits in the form of food stamps and other benefits); CSA = childhood sexual abuse

****************************************************

So, May and Peter were pretty poor. They had everything they "needed", but there wasn't any money left over for "wants", maybe a few bucks at the end of every month. May was paid the NY state minimum wage + a bit more at 18.00/hr. About 600/wk after taxes. Rent was where most off their money went, but they were lucky- they qualified for Low-Income housing, so 850/month in rent was doable. That left a bit over 1500/month for food, bills, medication and now therapy sessions. 

Sylvia had been taking May's insurance as payment only and writing off the co-pays, but her clinic was recently bought out by a big HMO and she couldn't get away with that anymore. May was sitting at their small kitchen table reviewing all their expenses and bills and called Peter over, who was doing his homework on the floor a few steps away, in front of the TV.

"Peter, I've been looking over the expenses and I don't know how to say this but we have to..well, you have to make a tough decision..." she looked at him and paused.

Peter looked at her curiously, "What do you mean, about what?"

"Well, baby, Sylvia's new clinic isn't going to take our insurance anymore, so we have to pay out of pocket for the sessions. They're 110.00 an hour." she made a grimace, "-and Sylvia is really super sorry, but there's a ton of managerial oversight right now, and she can't give us a break on the fee."

"Oh." Peter blew out a big breath. "Yeah, Ok. Does this mean I can't go see her anymore?"

May motioned for him to sit down, "No, not at all- it just means that you can't go every week anymore. I think we can swing one session a month for sure, probably two. Or, the other option is to switch ther--"

"Nope. Not gonna switch. I'm good with Sylvia!" Peter looked so relieved, "Whew! I'm so glad I can still go! And really, I think once a month will be fiiiine. But are my doctor visits still OK? With Dr. S?"

May smiled, "Yeah, we're still good there. His clinic is non-profit anyway so unless he leaves, all our visits there are free. So you still get to keep those monthly visits."

Peter smiled big, "Oh, good. I don't think I'd feel as comfortable if we had to get rid of those appointments".

Inwardly Peter was still worried on some level about his Spider-Man changes and his med routine. So was super relieved to be able to still go see his doctor. But, it had been 6 months already and he didn't seem to notice any changes...nothing out of the usual anyway. One or two med adjustments every couple of months had been the norm so far and nothing so far since The Bite made him think that was drastically different. Well, there was the one time near Christmas where he had some auditory hallucinations but the very small adjustment (take his morning dose an hour earlier) to his med routine seemed to have gotten rid of those.

May put her hand on Peter's arm as he moved to stand back up and presumably go back to his work, "Hold on baby, one more thing... we might need to use the WIC benefits more."

Peter looked nonplussed for a moment, then quickly recovered his composure, "OH! Sure, ok, no problem. Why?"

"Well," May began, "It's complicated and the timing of everything just stinks. But, basically, in addition to Sylvia no longer taking our insurance, rent is going up a little, you need your own cell phone now, and they hired another CNA on my ward, so I won't be picking up as many extra shifts now--it's just a lot of changes, none for the better, and well, it means we just aren't going to be making it on my salary alone."

"Oh...ok. I'm...I'm really sorry May."

May looked startled, "Whatever for Peter?"

Peter looked down and picked at some peeling paint on the table, "Well, if it weren't for all my meds - I know how expensive they are! - and _stuff_ , well, we wouldn't be so poor."

May sighed and picked up his hands, "Peter, listen to me....are you happy?"

Peter shot his head up, "Yeah! _Of course May_! I'm SO happy! I've got everythin---"

May cut him off, "I'm happy too bud. And considering everything that you and I have been through and what we've lost, I think that's pretty fan-fucking-tastic. Don't you?"

Peter smiled, "Yeah, I do."

"So don't you worry about this money stuff. We'll be OK. Do you mind using the WIC card every now and then? And you know what?-- we qualify for the Summer Meal Program at the neighborhood school, I just got that card in the mail, so I'll give it to you along with the WIC benefits card. Once school is out, if we're low on food here, just go to the school down the street, and they'll feed you. If we take advantage of the WIC benefits, then we will be alright. Someone's got to use them right? Might as well be us." she smiled ruefully and continued, "I know it's not perfect, but we're lucky to have access to these assistance programs. I'm not ashamed to use them. I know kids can be assholes though, so I'm sorry if you have to put up with any bullshit if your friends find out."

Peter stood up, "Nah, I know it's hard to believe given how kids are portrayed in the news and stuff, but Midtown kids are pretty cool. I mean, Flash is an asshole, but not about stuff like that. All my friends and the kids at school are pretty cool. There's none of that bullying you see on the news and in TV shows and stuff. Besides, school breakfast gives out the good Pop-Tarts!"

May looked relieved and laughed, "Really? well ok then. That's great. OK, enough of this talk- go do your homework young man!"

********************************************************************

"Hey Peter!" said Ned as he stood by their lockers, he held out his hand to start their handshake. 

Peter walked towards him but didn't smile or look toward him, or even really acknowledge him. But, he did slowly hold out his hand to initiate the handshake, but Ned could tell his friend's heart wasn't in it. Peter seemed ok, he was breathing normally...maybe a little too slowly and deeply.

ah. 

It was one of those times. Sometime Peter got like this. Kind of distant. Like a robot. The first time it happened it scared Ned, he was only 10 after all, but after knowing Peter since 4th grade, well, he was used to it happening every now and then. On these days Peter was...almost normal. Like a Robot Peter. Ned had even joked with Peter one day about it- 'Invasion of the Body Snatching Robots!!' Peter's memory wasn't so great on days like this. So Ned would take especially careful notes in class, notes he knew Peter would be reading.

Michelle walked up to the boys, "What's up losers?" Peter slowly turned to her and.... didn't reply.

Ned quickly spoke up, "Mornin' MJ! You ready for the history test?" Peter was just standing there with a slack look on his face.

MJ looked from Ned to Peter's face, and looked back to Ned "....of course. What'r you losers up to? You look....suspicious." Peter had by this time turned his head and appeared to be staring at the far corner of the hallway, at nothing in particular. Then he walked away, Ned calling after him, "Peter, I'll meet you in homeroom, OK?" When Peter did not respond, Ned called louder, "PETER, homeroom! I'll meet you there, OK?" Since Peter had been walking away slowly, he hadn't gotten far, and turned around to acknowledge Ned, "Yeah. Sure." Then turned around and continued to ghost down the hallway. He hadn't grabbed his books from his locker. Sighing, Ned and shut his locker only to step to Peter's locker and began the process to turn the right combination on Peter's locker. Once he had it open, he grabbed the books and folders he knew Peter would need for the first half of the day.

"What's up with Parker?" asked MJ as she watched all this unfold, "Clearly something is up."

Ned pursed his lips, and since he was there when Peter told MJ about his CSA history and stuff, he figured it was cool to tell her. "Well, some days Pete just kind of checks-out."

Ever the astute observer, MJ narrowed her eyes, "Is it a form of that dissociation he talked about?"

Ned shrugged his shoulders. "I don't really know. We don't really talk about it. But it happens every couple of weeks, ever since we were kids. Well, I mean we're still kids. I mean, since we were like 10 years old. I just kind of follow him around and make sure he doesn't catch fire. But, yeah, it's part of that stuff. It's not as bad as the full disscoiation though, like the other time, he's _mostly_ functional."

He nervously chuckled, "I mean, not that he would catch fire or do anything stupid. I mean, it's not like he'd do anything weird...I don't think. Anyway...it just takes a little more to get his attention. He's just, like...spacey."

MJ narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips, "That actually explains a lot. I noticed of course. Explains why some days he let Flash answer all the decathlon questions. But now that I have had more information...that's..interesting. huh."

"You're not gonna tell anyone are you? I mean he has like a doctor and a therapist already....he's totally fine! He'll probably be back to normal in a couple hours, it never lasts too long!"

MJ gave Ned an incredulous look, "I'll let that pass, since you don't me all that well yet Leeds, but no- I will not tell anyone."

"I'll check on him in Spanish, since you're not in that class. See ya'." she said stalking away

"Cool." said Ned breathlessly.

**************************************************************

"Kid's weird today boss, just so you know." said Happy as he stood in the lab's doorway.

Tony Stark stopped what he was doing and looked up at his Forehead of Security, "What the hell does that mean? And where the hell is said kid? You were supposed to pick him and bring him here."

But Happy was already turning around and walking away, "I did boss. You'll see. Once he gets here. He's like a mile behind."

"What? Why? Did you leave him somewhere?" But Happy was already gone. Letting out an exasperated sigh, he asked, "Friday, where's the kid?"

"Peter Parker is ascending toward your lab in the private use elevator. He arrived 5 minutes ago via the sub-level parking garage."

"Oh. OK. Cool." Tony walked over to the kitchenette on the far side of the lab and made sure the fridge was stocked with Peter's favorite juice and non-bruised apples. Just as he was pouring himself another cup of coffee, the kid walked into the room.

Tony immediately noticed something was, as Happy said, 'weird'. Mostly because Peter _walked_ in. He didn't _bound_ in. And Peter wasn't talking. That was the biggest tip off.

"You OK kid?" Tony asked.

Peter looked like he was moving through molasses. He slowly looked up to his mentor...friend...person.."Yeah. Sure." He then turned his head toward the far corner and just...stared at it.

Curious, Tony snapped his fingers loudly a couple of times. "Earth to Parker. Earth to Parkerrrr..." No response. Tony stood for a few beats just staring at the kid. Who in turn was still staring at...nothing.

"Geez kid, what's up with you? You get enough sleep? Enough to eat?" Tony started to look concerned and walked up to ~~his~~ the kid. He grabbed him by the arm, to guide him to the couch, at which point Peter jumped about a mile high and flinched away from him.

"Jesus kid!" Tony had stepped back in alarm. They stared at each other for a beat, when Peter started stammering an apology, "Mr. Stark! I'm so sorry! ohmygosh! I'm so sorry! I....I...uh.... what, what...where..."

Peter looked a bit scared and lost and it was kind of freaking Tony out.

"Kid. Calm down. You with me now? You were kind of checked out there for a second."

Peter was breathing in and out rather quickly, but looked more present, at least, much better than a few moments ago, where he was checked out, Tony decided.

"Yeah...yeah, I'm ok. I, uh.... It's lab day. Right. Where's Happy?"

Tony tilted his head and made a tight smile, "He just dropped you off kid. You sure you're alright?"

Peter shook his head quickly and said, "Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. Left boot balance. Mark 47. That's what we're working on today right?"

Tony nodded his head, but sounded skeptical, "Yeah, but kid. If you need a break..."

"Nope, nope. I'm good to go. Don't wanna waste a lab day Mr. Stark!" said Peter, sounding a lot more like himself.

Tony nodded his head, but still sounded a bit concerned, "If you're sure kid, yeah. Let's get to work."

***************************************************************************

"Peter!!!!!!" May was knocking on his door, "Peter! It's time to go! You're gonna miss the train!"

Peter bolted out his door, jumping up and down on one foot getting his HULK socks on, half a piece of toast hanging out his mouth, "Mmmrmph, I'm mnreddy, I'm readyy!"

Choking down the dry toast, he scrambled around grabbing his homework off the floor from in front of the TV where he had been working on it, "May, where's the ---"

"Here, you looking for your history essay? I found it in the freezer." she said rolling her eyes and handing him the sheaf of papers.

Peter dropped his one socked foot onto the ground and wobbled, looking like a deranged hobo with toast hanging out of the corner of his mouth said, "oh. huh. THANKS!"

May gathered her work bag and sneakers, her packed lunch and subway pass.

They met at the corner of the counter where May grabbed the pill box and dumped out his three morning pills. 

He swallowed them with a gulp of juice she had ready in his favorite McDonald's Happy Meal HULK freebie plastic cup, opened his mouth for the pill check and they both walked out the door at the same time.

May closed the door and locked it while Peter shoved his feet into his shoes. Down the elevator together, a quick hug and kiss at the apartment "lobby", 

"Have a good day sweetie! Be careful with your after school activities!" said May, elbowing him in the side and giving him an exaggerated and cartoonish wink. 

"Haha, May." he replied with an eyeroll. "You know I gotta keep the Grand Theft Bicycles stats down!"

"See ya May, larb you!" Peter said as he went on his way, and she on hers.

*****************************************************************************************

"Hey kid, you wanna stay over at the Tower while your Aunt May is out of town next month?" 

Peter snorted, coughed and shot water out his nose while choking down what hadn't sprayed out his face.

Tony and Peter were sitting on the couch in the common living room (vs his private apartments on the top floor) watching a movie. A few weeks ago, they had had a lab "accident" involving a small fire, with the result being lots and lots of flame retardant sprayed all over both of them, courtesy of Dum-E. That day, Tony had let Peter borrow some of his sweats and a hoodie for a shower and instead of sending Peter home early, they decided to get a snack in the common room, which led to Hawkeye (!) and Black Widow (!!) inviting him to play Mario Cart. Wat. It had been a surprisingly (especially for Tony) super fun evening.

Ever since then, if they had to run simulations or have Friday compile data, and they maybe found excuses, to--- they'd spend time just hanging out instead of just staying down in the lab, sequestered away from everyone. Everyone being: Rhodey when he stopped by when visiting the city. Hawkeye and Black Widow, who actually lived at the Tower (even though they were gone a lot on missions), Bruce Banner (!!!) who had just arrived back from a two year sabbatical (no one knows where to, and Dr. Banner clammed up when asked), Sam- who didn't live at the Tower, but visited often, and finally- Mr. Captain America and his friend Mr. Barnes. They both came back to live at the Tower after the Accords were re-written.

So, Peter was _somewhat_ used to being around all the Avengers, and he was quite comfortable with Mr. Stark by now. But the invitation still surprised him. 

"Damn kid, you oK there?" Tony asked patting him hard on the back. 

"Sure thing, Mr. Stark, I'm fine." Peter said coughing a few more times, "Just wasn't expecting that"

"No shit, I hadn't noticed," Tony replied sarcastically. "Hey Clint, grab the kid a napkin would you? He's drooled on himself."

"Aw, Mr. Staaark, I have not!" but looking down, Peter noticed he had. Lame.

Clint, who had been sitting at the bar eating a peanut butter and banana sandwich, tied a walnut into a corner of a napkin and launched it with precision towards Peter's head. "There ya go, kid. You should come and stay! It'll be fun! Nat and I will be here too. Next month right, 2nd through the 9th?"

Peter rubbed absently at his head where the walnut had beaned him, wiping some water off his face and chin. "Thanks Mr. Hawkeye, I mean, Mr. Barton, sir! Um. And yeah, 2nd through 9th. And Thanks Mr. Stark, you mean it? I can come stay here?"

Clint threw another walnut loaded napkin at Peter's ear, "Call me Clint, kid."

"Ow! No thanks, Mr. Barton" said Peter while looking towards his mentor, "I gotta ask May though!"

"Putting his arm around the kid and pulling them both back to lean on the couch, Tony said, "You think I didn't already? When you told me you were gonna be on your own for break, I called her up to arrange it. While she's upstate at that work training, you get to stay here. No one wanted you to be on your own kiddo."

"But I'm almost 15! I could've done it. Really! I don't wanna be a bother-" said Peter with confidence.

"Kid, stop. You're not a bother, not ever. If I didn't want you here, I wouldn't have asked." said Tony while looking at the TV. He unpaused the movie they were watching and told the kid "-Don't worry about it, it'll be fun. I've got a room all set up for you and everything." Peter sighed happily and leaned into his mentors warm side.

"Sounds great Mr. Stark, thanks." 

*************************************************************************************

"Peter, please don't make this harder than it already is." May said with an exasperated sigh.

"May, you don't know what it's like! It makes me feel like absolute shit. Why can't we just try and--"

"Peter, we JUST had a doctor's visit. He did NOT recommend any changes to your med routine, so that means you get the shot. Now, please...please just come and sit so we can get this over with."

"I. Don't. Want. To." Peter said stubbornly.

"This is not a decision you are allowed to make Peter." said May with a bit of an edge to her voice.

"Well, since I'm the one getting the fucking poison shot into their arm, don't you think I should!?"

"HEY! Language, young man!" said May, now with a definite edge to her voice. This was an old argument, Peter's opinion on what meds he needed and when. _Most of the time_ he was a compliant patient. _Most of the time_ .

This morning was not one of those times.

May took a deep steadying breath, "Peter. This is not negotiable. This morning, you are getting this shot. If you want to discuss it further with Dr. Simoncec, then right after you get the shot, I will call his office and arrange an appointment. Capiche?"

"No. I don't want it."

May looked him right in the eye and with steel in her voice said, "Then Option B is I call 911, who will send paramedics, who WILL take you to the hospital, where you WILL get this dose. Do you understand me?"

Peter stood defiantly and squeezed his eyes shut. His fists were balled at his sides as he breathed in and out like a bull.

May patiently await his reply, which was infuriating on it's own. 

He finally said with anger in his voice, "I hate it May! I hate it! The other ones I can stand, but this one is absolute shit and I hate it!"

It was times like these that May was reminded that while Peter was a very sick, mentally ill individual, he was actually a very sick, mentally ill _kid._ She sighed and all released all her anger. "I know sweetie, I know. And I promise, you are allowed to be a part of the decision, but this is not the appropriate time for that. You are due for this dose. We just had a visit with the doctor and you can see right here" she held out the Rx sheets that were just filled- "you are to continue with it until the next evaluation. But, if you want to call and get an appointment sooner, we can."

"But you are getting this shot today." she said with finality.

She could tell that some of the tension was easing out of Peter's shoulders. (sigh) May was still on edge and scared. Med compliance was such a terrible problem for patients like Peter and she did not want him to become another statistic. But seeing some of the tension leave her nephew's shoulders made her think that maybe for now, a crisis would be averted.

"Maybe there's an adjustment Dr. S can make to help with the immediate side effects. Because I know, Peter, that this shot is only bad for a couple of days post injection. Right? Has something changed since last time?" she asked placatingly.

Peter kept his eyes closed but released the tightness in them and sighed, he knew he was gonna have to get the shot. "No, May. It's about the same." he said dejectedly. 

"I just... I just hate it. It makes me feel like a zombie. It...it makes me feel like when I was hospitalized. I ... I just don't like it. It makes me feel like a loser. Like everybody can tell, you know?"

May understood now, "Aw baby...c'mere. No one can tell. OK?"

"Yeah...ok....sure. Let's just get it over with."

Peter sat down like a prisoner approaching death row. He pulled up the sleeve of his T-shirt, and sat holding up the sleeve and staring straight ahead. May just sighed. For her part, it was times like these that she felt like she was abusing Peter, like the medicines were doing more harm than good. Even though she knew, she _knew_ that she had to be strict in her role as medical proxy. It still sucked though. She relished in her role as 'Fun Aunt' and ever since he had his psychotic break, she was now his medical proxy and it was exhausting, especially on days like this.

Not that she would EVER let anyone else take over the role...but still. Some days it sucked. 

She picked up the prepped syringe, dabbed at the site with an alcohol wipe, uncapped the syringe and gave him the shot as quickly and painlessly as she could.

"All done Pete. Thank you." May had one unfortunate job left to do. And the timing couldn't be worse, but time was getting short and pretty soon, Peter was going to stay with Tony Stark and the Avengers for a week. He was going to have to tell at least one adult there about his medications. "Peter, I know this isn't the best time. Really, it's hilariously not funny, the worst time. But have you told Mr. Stark or any of the Avengers about your...routines? With your meds, I mean?"

Peter paused with his backpack half slung over his shoulder and looked incredulously at his aunt, "Are you kidding me? No! Of course not!"

"Peter, you know you're going to have to at some point. And with you going to stay over for a week next month, I'd rather you did it sooner rather than later."

All the fight that had been in the boy suddenly left his body. He slumped his shoulders in defeat and said resignedly, "Yeah, I know May. I'll find a good time. I promise."

May decided that one battle fought this morning was enough and allowed herself to trust her nephew to get the task done (hopefully soon), "Okie sweetie, Do you want me to make an appointment with Dr. S to evaluate you again before the month end?"

Peter quietly said, "No. Doesn't matter now." as he pulled down his sleeve and gathered his things for school.

May didn't know what to say in response to that so she just let him be. Some days were like this, and that was OK.

****************************************************


	11. Peter's a good kid.

The final school bell of Peter's 9th grade rang. ***BBBBRBRRRRRRRrrrraaaaannnnngggg***** kids screamed as they flooded the halls. Peter ran and found MJ and Ned outside by their meeting place- next to the school's dumpsters.

"Yes! Finally!" exclaimed Peter as he high-fived his friends. Since the last week of school had basically been babysitting while a few kids made up assignments and half the class was missing because their parents pulled them out early for summer trips to India and China or other far flung places, but the three friends remained in the City for now.

"Yes. Finally. Being at school but not learning anything is the pits. My day c-r-a-w-l-e-d. But anyway, when do you leave for Hawai'i Ned?" asked MJ.

"Not until next week, but then I'll be gone all summer. Bummer."

MJ rolled her eyes, "It's, by some people's reckoning, _literally,_ paradise Leeds."

"No place can be paradise without you guys!" laughed Ned, pulling a comical face and pulling his arms around Peter and MJ attempting to pull them into a hug. They both easily dodged.

"Dude. You've left every summer since I've known you. You always have a blast. Just promise to mail me some crackseed, the sweet/sour white lemon rind kind, right when you get there. You're my source, man." nudged Peter.

Looking aback and forth between the two boys, MJ said, "OK, I'll bite. What's crackseed?" she said in her most deadpan voice.

"OH!", Ned exclaimed, "It's like really salty preserved fruits and rinds. Salty, sweet, sour...good stuff."

Peter continued, "Ned brought me back some a few years ago, I think I was supposed to think it's really awful, but I like it."

"I'd try it. Bring me some too." she stated matter of factly, "My internship with the Innocence Project begins next week, so after that I'll be MIA until the first week of August." 

"Of course that's what you're doing with your summer break. Geez MJ. Relax a little, have fun!" said Ned as he rolled his eyes.

"That is what I'll be doing for fun Ned." she bored her eyes into Ned's until Ned faltered and said in a nervous tone, "Uh, yeah, I know. I'll um, I'll be noting the nocturnal habits of indigenous Hawai'ian sea turtles..uh...and stuff."

"Relax Ned, I'll pulling your chain. You do you. I'll do me. I've got some time built into my summer plans for fun, don't worry." She wasn't used to people worrying about her or curious about her plans, so she sounded a bit shy as she did sometimes when speaking about herself. Changing the subject away from herself, MJ faltered, "Anyway, what about you Peter? When does your Aunt leave for that work training?"

"This Thursday. But then, guess what guys?! Igettostaywiththeavengers!!!"

"Waaat?!" yelled Ned. MJ narrowed her eyes at him, "Why?" she stated bluntly.

"Mr. Stark invited me! He and Aunt May apparently talk, which- don't even get me started- and anyway, she told him I'd be on my own while she was away and he offered to let me stay at Stark Tower while she's gone!!" Peter looked genuinely pleased so MJ did her best to sound excited for him as well.

"You're sure he's not using you?" she asked bluntly. "For, you know, experiments or something?"

"What?" Peter laughed, "Nooo-o-o-hohoh, not at all! He's really great MJ. Honest." he glanced around them to make sure no one was loitering nearby and continued, "Ever since May found out about, you know, Spider-Man- she and Mr. Stark have been making sure that I stay safe and stuff. So I've been spending a ton of time over there with him and the other Avengers. He's been super nice to me, MJ, honest. We have lab time, he helps me fix up my suit, and he helps me with my homework, and he's just been super nice is all. And Ms. Potts is around too, and War Machine, and Hawkeye, and Black Widow-" 

Ned sat down suddenly on the ground. "Dude. You've been hanging out with the Black Widow? Hold on. I gotta process this."

MJ and Peter ignored him. 

"Anyway, as I was saying, the only bad thing about staying in the Tower will be that I won't be able to, you know, Spider-Man it over in Queens for a week. And I don't know if Mr. Stark will let me do it while I'm staying with him." he finished.

"But, yeah, he promised that while I'm there for the week we can try and build a battle drone and do a bunch of upgrades to my suit. Anyway, after that, it's nothing but Netflix and Spider-Man until 10th grade!" replied Peter.

"Cool. OK, losers. I'm outta here." She fist bumped Peter and gave Ned's head a playful push from where he was still sat on the ground, "You're sitting in dumpster leakage by the way Leeds" she said as she waltzed off.

"What does dumpter water matter when my best friend will be hanging out with the Avengers while I'm not here?"

Peter held out his hand to his friend and pulled him off the ground, "Don't worry dude, I'll send Snaps."

"Dude. That's so not fair." A car horn honked from the front of the school, Ned looked up and turned back to his best friend, "Oh, that's my mom. I'll text you later dude." he initiated their handshake and took off towards his ride.

"Happy Summer dude!" waved Peter as he and Ned went their separate ways.

***********************************************************************************

Even though it was the last day of school, it was still a Friday, so Peter pulled out his suit from his backpack in the alley next to the school and started to get changed. Out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw something. He turned his head, but nothing was there. As he pulled on his suit as quickly as he could, he thought he saw something or someone _just_ out of his peripheral vision. He quickly turned his head to see whatever or whoever it was, but nothing was there. And his Spider-Sense wasn't going off. So he just mentally shrugged it off and started climbing the wall to get some altitude with which to gain some speed to swing to the Tower.

A little voice in the back of his mind told him that he knew what he saw. It was a Watcher. They hadn't been around for a while. He wouldn't tell Sylvia or May, they didn't like The Watchers. He had promised he would, if he ever saw them again, but it would just worry them. The Watchers weren't a big deal. Like the million thoughts that are created, processed and dismissed and cataloged by the mind everyday, he brushed it aside to deal with later.

***********************************************************************************

**PP- I'm on my way, open a lab window!**

**MS- Peter Parker, you had better not be texting and swinging ON THE BRAND NEW PHONE I JUST GAVE YOU.**

**PP- ...**

**PP- incoming!**

He flung himself at the 79th floor window where Mr. Stark's lab was and stuck to the high rise's window with a resounding _SPLAT_. He waved maniacally until Mr. Stark walked over and opened the nearest safety window and he crawled in.

He also had to pull in about 15 feet of webbing to which his phone was attached...

"DID YOU DROP YOUR PHONE WHILE TEXTING AND SWINGING?!!?" yelled Tony with his hands on his hips in the most dad stance ever. He caught himself in a moment of self awareness and brought his fingers up to the bridge of his nose and pinched himself. 

"No, of course not-" said Peter and he pulled in the strand of webbing hand over hand through the open window. He had his backpack on his back and his arms raised in triumph-- "Anyway, NO MORE SCHOOL FOR TWO MONTHS MR. STARK!!!!"

"Kid. I can't believe you just...you're gonna make me go grey Pete." he said as he sat down heavily on the nearest lab stool. He closed up the tabs on the laptop he was working on and had Dum-E clean off the rest of the work. "Let's go see what the other yahoo's are up to. You up for that Underoos?" Peter certainly looked up for anything, he had yanked the mask off as soon as he had crossed the threshold into the lab. His face was flushed and his hair askew.

"Sure, Mr. Stark-

"Pete, call me Tony, how many times do I have to say it."

"No thanks, Mr. Stark!" said Peter energetically, bouncing up and down.

Tony shook his head at being denied, that just not happen to him. He brushed it off and stood up and put his arm around Peter, trying to physically restrain his bouncing, as they left the lab and walked to the main tower elevators. Geez, the kid was... bouncy.. today. The Kid was usually pretty energetic, but right now, he seemed almost...frenetic.

"Who all is here right now? What are you working on? Is that the new StarkPhone over there" he asked whipping his head around, looking at and around the lab, resisting slightly as Tony tried to guide him toward hall and to the elevator.

"Christ kid, calm down a second, take a breath."

"Oh! SorryMr.Stark!! I'm just excited 'cause school's out I guess. Had a great swing over here too. You know? Beautiful weather and I helped Mr. Delmar bring in his deliveries and stopped TWO bike thefts and a returned a lost dog and I caught a shoplifter, I webbed him to a trash can, and I--

Tony shouted, "KID. Breathe. Calm Down...geez. Kids and their energy drinks, what have you been drinking kid?"

"NothingMr.StarkIpromise! Idon'tdrinkthatstuff! It's just a really great afternoon and I, and I...and..." Peter seemed _finally_ to realize that he was going off the rails a little bit, getting a little bit hyper, which he knew adults didn't like, so he took a big breath like Sylvia taught him, and said slowly "Sorry, sir. I was just excited. I'm sorry, I'll calm down now." Then he took a minute to actually breath slowly in and out in order to compose himself. 

"It's ok kid, just lemme answer one question at a time," and Tony continued, "Well, The Spy Twins are here. And Rhodey is around somewhere...and I think Sam is stopping by later. Cap and Barnes are in DC but will be back by the time you're back for your stay here. You excited about that?"

Peter lit up, "Of course, Mr. Stark! Thanks again for letting me stay. You didn't have to. Technically, I think I'm allowed to be on my own and it's just for a week."

"Kid, if you think I'm gonna let you stay on your own when I know the dumb ass decisions you make, you are not as smart as I think you are. For example, Who got stabbed last week?"

"But Mr. Stark, that wasn't--"

"Nah uh uh- YOU DID. That's who. And where did you go for help? Not here. You went to your bathroom. And who ended up having to stitch you up?"

Peter looked down at his sneakers as the elevator descended, "You did Mr. Stark..."

"and when did I have to do it?" Tony asked pointedly.

"---after I bled on your couch. You're. Really. Expensive. Couch." Peter replied in a dead tone.

"Uh-huh. So, you see Underoos...I'm just saving myself some time and money by having you stay here. Keeps my insurance premiums low."

As they exited the elevator onto the main Avengers common room, Peter looked around to see who could save him. "Mr. Barton! Tell Mr. Stark to stop giving me a hard time about last week."

Clint, who was sitting on the couch, with his feet up on the coffee table browsing through what appeared to be a knife catalog, just replied, "Listen to your dad, kid."

Well, that effectively shut them both up as the both spluttered and pulled away from each other. Tony pulled his arm from around Peter's shoulders like it was on fire and Peter simultaneously jumped about three feet away.

"Barton!" "Geez!" they both blushed adorably, but that was lost on the archer whose back was to them.

"Anyway, Bird Brain, where's the missus?" said Tony, effectively changing the subject. 

Sighing audibly, Clint pulled his feet from the table and tossed the catalog onto it while standing up and stretching his back, "Huh? Oh, Nat and Rhodes went out get ingredients to make a chocolate cake, they should be back soon."

Peter and Tony both paused for a moment. "ok" they said simultaneously, which made Clint snort,"heh, you guys just jinxed." 

Tony rolled his eyes as he entered the kitchen area of the great room, Clint and Peter each took a seat at the adjacent kitchen counter. Peter pulled out an old, disintegrating notebook from his book bag and started chewing on a pencil ans he flipped it open to a half empty page.

"Whatcha' working' on Pete? Can't be homework, you just started Summer Break for god's sake." asked Tony from the refrigerator, as he pulled out a tray of sliced veggies.

"Oh, it's just a grocery list, for meal planning and stuff. May's been real busy, trying to get in all the extra shifts in while she can, and I need to do the shopping this weekend. And since I'm outta school now, I can cook while she's at work." 

Clint stood up and walked to the cabinets and pulled out a box of Lucky Charms, opened it and shoved his hand inside pulling out a fist full of cereal and shoving it into his mouth.

"Jesus, Barton, would you like I dunno, a bowl? Or milk?" side eyed Tony.

"Nah. I'm good. You a good cook Squirt? What kind of stuff you plannin' to make?" asked Clint curiously as he sat back down clutching his box of Lucky Charms. He held the box out to Peter.

"Mmfp- thanks Mr. Hawkeye, Um, Mr. barton, sir," he Peter replied, "I'm not a baaaad, cook. But I'm not great either. BUT. I am better than Aunt May. A Muppet could cook better than her. Grover, the blue one, could cook better than her. Not that she doesn't try! But, it's really better for everyone if she sticks to Easy Mac and cereal. I can do the basics...you know, rice, noodles with cheese, grilled cheeses, I can microwave vegetables and put together a casserole, you know. Easy stuff."

"Nothing special. Just gotta get some basics. Bread for sandwiches, milk, peanut butter. I make a really good bean soup, so some beans yeah, they're cheap..... and some cornbread mix (I can probably get two boxes of that). Yeah, that would go. Maybe some meat, if I have enough money leftover. Bacon's good in the soup (yeah, can get bacon at the store). Yea...soup. Had chicken last week, so beans'll be good...maybe I can get some blueberries. Gotta go to Sprouts for those...maybe they'll have some chicken on sale..." 

By this time Peter was half talking to himself as he constructed his grocery list and meal plan. Clint leaned over and saw that Peter was writing down figures and doing some math on the side of the paper. He subtly made eye contact with Tony, who was leaning against the counter trying to look at Peter's list and munching on a carrot.

Clint said nonchalantly, "You gotta stick to a budget kid?"

Somewhat startled, Peter looked up, he had forgotten he wasn't by himself at his own kitchen table, that's where he usually did the meal planning and grocery lists. "Oh. Uh, yeah."

"You guys doin' OK? You and May? You said she was also working extra shifts." Clint did his best to keep his tone light and easy. Tony was suspiciously quiet.

Peter, being 14 years old (almost 15!) knew that he and May were poor, but May had always been so matter-of-fact about it and he was so content that he didn't really think of themselves as _poor,_ per se, they just didn't have a lot of extra money. So he answered honestly and without shame, "Oh, yeah. She's working more right now, cause pretty soon, they might cut her hours since the hospital hired another CNA on her floor. But that's why she's going to that training next week, hopefully she'll be able to fill in on the maternity ward after she finishes that training, so she can get more hours. That department is understaffed. But, sure, we have enough. Well, almost. I can get most of what I need to get us for a week at the store. And since May can eat at the hospital for almost free, I just really need to get enough for myself most nights and for the weekend. Even with the extra food I've been needing this year, since you know, the spider bite, we have enough."

Tony had his arms casually crossed in front of him, but didn't look at all relaxed, the muscles in his neck were flexing. He was looking down and away from Peter, who was now snacking on the veggie tray Tony had placed in front of him, "You said ' _almost_ ', kid." quietly.

Peter could tell that Mr. Stark was getting weird...or something...so he tried to reassure his mentor, "Oh! well, sometimes May's paydays are more than two weeks apart or something, or you stuff comes up, you know?... and sometimes we're a little short."

Mr. Stark was staring to breathe a little louder so Peter rushed on, "But it's oK! I've got a, uh, a City Summer Meal Pass, do you know what that is? It's so I can get breakfast and lunch from the school up the block from the apartment when I need it!" Peter was starting to get a little panicky at how Mr. Stark and Mr. Barton were reacting to this whole conversation. They were _both_ starting to look a little pissed off.

"It's fine Mr. Stark, Mr. Barton. Really. I've always gotten breakfast and lunch from the school over the summer, but not like, not everyday! Just on Thursdays and Fridays mostly, and not even every week!"

Tony looked at Peter's grocery list and said quietly, "Is, uh, is buying meat and fresh fruit something you can always do or not kid?" he asked quietly.

Peter didn't know what to say. No. No, he and May had never, ever, been able to buy meat and fresh fruit and veggies whenever they wanted. So he just shrugged and said, "Well, no, but I mean, that's ok, and the meat at the store where they take the WIC card isn't the freshest anyway, so I gotta use our own money at like the fancy pantsy grocery shop to buy the nice organic fruit and stuff, which we'd rather have so...um...I do that the last week of the month when I'm sure we'll have enough....but I can get plenty of bread, cereal and stuff like that...and they have organic milk at the regular store, so that's good...and uh...."

Peter felt like he was digging himself into a deeper hole as he kept talking...and he wasn't even sure why! He was trying to make the adults in the room feel better. Gosh, he didn't mean to make them look so uncomfortable... but the air was starting to feel kind of weird so he just blew out a bunch of air out of his mouth and said, "Anyway....yeah. We're fine. See?"

Clint took pity on the kid, "Sound's like you're a big help to your aunt kid." he said patting Peter super hard across the back. THUD THUD. Peter looked over at him and Mr. Barton had a weird small smile on his face as he looked Peter right in the eyes.

"You're a good kid, Peter. Stark lucked out with you..... a good kid and....Spider-Man too" he said quietly, shaking his head. He stood up and pointed his finger at Tony while looking up through the top of his eyes at Tony, "You're gonna fix this, right, Stark?"

"We can't have a starving child on the team" he said walking away and onto the elevator. As the door closed on him, he backed into the elevator and double barreled pointing his fingers to Peter saying "good kid" as he winked at him, then the doors closed on him and it was just Peter and Tony left in the common room.

"I'm not starving Mr. Stark, honest! There's nothing to fix Mr. Stark, we're fine!" he insisted. He had grabbed the box of Lucky Charms to occupy his hands as this whole conversation had made him nervous all of a sudden. He was just making his grocery list! What was the big deal?

Tony, for his part, didn't know what to say. He knew May and Peter were not wealthy, but Tony admittedly did not have the best perspective when it came to money. He had many good qualities, but being able to relate to the working poor was just something he had ever really had to do. Not this closely. Sure as an abstract idea "the working poor" was something he was aware of and contributed ethically to, financially, to help the "cause". He believed in a living wage for all and did his best to ensure that that idea permeated his company. 

May had never said they needed help, and by Peter's own admission, they didn't. They had..."enough". OK. ok.....he could handle this. Then why did he feel a panic attack coming on?

Not being able to buy meat?! Peter, having to wait until the end of the month just to see if he could buy himself and his aunt fresh fruit, blueberries? He had no idea. Jesus, Clint was right. What a good kid. Never once, had Tony ever heard Peter complain about not having _anything..._ the kid was content and happy ALL THE TIME.

Jesus Christ, he furiously wiped his hands up and down his face. 

"Um, Mr. Stark...are you ok?" asked Peter hesitantly, "I promise, May and I are fine Mr. Stark. Really. We have enough."

Tony finally pushed himself away from the counter. Sighing, he said quietly, "Yeah kid. I'm fine." Of course Peter is asking if _he's_ fine. Jesus Christ. This kid. "You want pizza tonight?"

Peter's face lit up, "Sure, Mr. Stark, thanks!" Tony walked around the counter, grabbed the box of cereal out of Peter's hands with his right hand and wrapped his left arm around his kid and took him back towards the couch, let's just enjoy your first few hours of Summer Break watchin' Forged in Fire, whatdya say kid?"

"Yeah man!" Peter said, laughing and smiling, glad that Mr. Stark seemed back to normal.

Later that night, before Peter left to go back to his Aunt's apartment, well, if Tony slipped a twenty dollar bill into his kid's backpack, then that was his prerogative. 

And well, if Peter saw two more Watchers out of the corner of his eye on his way home, he decided not to tell anyone, because that was his prerogative too.

***************************************************************************************


	12. The Sleepover!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is when you start to understand that Peter is an unreliable source of information. What he knows to be true are delusional thoughts. Anyway, I hope it makes sense. Also, I’m going to post three chapters tonight that were meant to be just one. But I got carried away and needed to divvy it up into three chapters!

It was the first week of the month, just about a week into summer break, and May was in a rush to gather all her things for her week long work re-treat. "Peter, you have your summer reading books?"

"Not yet May, geez, it's just the first week of break! I'll get them from the library later." he said with a roll of his eyes. He had his chin resting on the back of the couch, twisting around from his seat, watching the hurricane that was his Aunt get ready to go.

"Have Tony take you to the library, ok baby? I don't want you waiting until the last week...like you do every year!" yelled May from her bedroom.

This wasn't a vacation exactly, it was for work after all, but it was the first time May got to get out of town for awhile, especially on her own, and she was really looking forward to it. Especially since it was on someone else's dime! A free trip and stay at an upscale resort! The post-natal and premature infant care training was for some reason taking place upstate in a nice resort hotel. The new firm that bought out May's hospital was a lot more bougie than the last company and was trying to cater more more affluent patients. In any case, when May was offered a place at the retreat she didn't hesitate to take it.

Of course, her next immediate thought was 'what about Peter?' Well, she called up Tony Stark (just like that!) and dropped the hint that Peter would be on his own...Tony took the bait and a few days later Peter had his invite! Now she just had to pack. She had looked up the resort online and it was about two hours away in the Poconos. Hiking boots, shorts, layers....it had been so long since she had to vacation pack!

Peter kept piping up with helpful and not-so-helpful suggestions from his perch on the couch:

\--"snorkel?"

"it's the mountains, Pete"

\--"sunblock?"

"ooh, good idea!"

\--"road snacks?"

"twizzlers, go!"

\--"hospital ID?"

"OMG I almost forgot that!!! And the registration forms!! Thank you baby!!"

Finally, after an hour of frantic packing and 2 trips downstairs to the bodega for sunblock and toothpaste, May was all packed and Pete had a small duffel of his things ready to go for his stay at the Tower. Tony had assured May that all Pete had to bring was some clothes, and everything else was well stocked. But Pete, who had only ever had sleepovers with Ned, packed a few LEGO, his favorite tool set, a favorite stuffy (it was an old squishy turtle that his mom and dad had put in his crib every night, and it was all he had left of them) named Turtley and his toothbrush.

"Alright, just one thing left Peter", May had been so busy packing up her things, and frankly, dreading the conversation, but it was literally the last 5 minutes before Happy was coming to pick them up and she couldn't put it off any longer. 

"Time for your monthly dose, and I've got your pill boxes all ready," she said with what she hoped was a balance of positivity and steel in her voice. But Peter had been in a great mood all morning, and unlike last month when he resisted the medicine he just said, "yup" and sat down obediently for it.

Outwardly calm but inwardly pleased as punch, she quickly went through the routine and tossed the spent syringe in the bin. Here, take this morning's doses. Peter popped them in his mouth and downed them with the water in his Hulk cup. "Pack up your pill boxes bud. I've filled them up for the week and doubled up the doses in the last two day slots so be careful, but I didn't know where else to put in two extra days of pills. Just in case I'm not back or you lose some, or something. So you have enough of the daily meds until next Saturday, ok baby?" 

"You're not due for another appointment with the doc until next month and with Sylvia until after I get back, but do you want to check in with them before I go?"

"Noooo May, geez, I just saw them! It's a week..... I'll be fine!" piped Peter.

The door buzzer buzzed and Happy's disembodied voice came over the tinny speaker, "You guys ready?" he asked with his normal gruff manner.

"Yup" they both piped up, May with her finger on the intercom button. When she released her finger she looked pointedly at her nephew. "Pete. You _DID_ tell someone, preferably Tony, about your dosing schedule right?"

" _May,_ I said I would." replied Pete with a sour tone to his voice.

Being a parent, May picked up on the ambiguity in his answer, "Yeah, but _did_ you?"

Peter turned his back to her in a show of picking up his duffel bag and her suitcase and didn't answer.

" _PETER_ , _did you?"_ she persisted. 

With an unusual (for Peter) pause, "yeah. ok!? Happy's waiting, let's go." he sulkily answered, 

And since Happy was waiting, and since she didn't want to start off her trip with another chore, and because she didn't want to fight with her nephew before they parted, and because he never lied to her, she let it go. Even though she doubted his answer.

Once they were downstairs, Happy opened the lobby door for them and took the bags from Peter. "Hey guys!" he said, unaware of the slight amount of tension between the two, "You want me to take you to the hospital shuttle first May, or do you want to drop off Peter at the Tower?"

"Oh, can I help drop him off?" she asked.

"Of course, it's no trouble, but let's go ahead and go in that case. I want you to have plenty of time to say goodbye at the Tower and I don't want you to be late for that shuttle." he replied.

Peter opened the front passenger door for his Aunt so that she'd sit up front with Happy. He felt bad about lying to his Aunt and hoped that if she sat up front there would be no further discussions about who he chose to tell or not to tell about his stupid meds.

For her part, May willingly went to sit up front as she enjoyed Happy's company (she could see right through his _ridiculous_ tough guy persona). She did notice that Peter was unusually quiet on the ride over but chose to ignore it. Sigh, teenagers.

*********************************************************************************************

Peter was feeling badly about lying to his aunt. But it was just for a week! And he _just_ had his monthly dose of the "strong stuff" as he thought of it and there was no way he was gonna tell the freaking Avengers that he was a schizo. Like literally. That was just not gonna happen. His meds kept all the crazy from coming out, right? And he was gonna take them. Why did he have to tell anyone, let alone the AVENGERS about them???

Which made his thoughts turn to The Watchers. He saw them last week, he was sure of it, in the alley by the school. And once or twice when he woke up the last few days, he saw them out of the corner of his eye in his bedroom. He _knew_ they were there.

Dr. S had said they weren't real, and so did Sylvia. He never really told May about them, just once a while ago and she got so freaked out and became so overbearing, that he never mentioned them again. The Watchers were harmless. He knew not everyone could see them. But every once in a while someone would say, "Did you see that?" and Peter, knew, those were The Watchers. 

It was weird. He knew he was delusional, sometimes. May, Dr. S and Sylvia told him so. That's why he had to take all these medicines. Psychotic break and all that. But he didn't really remember it. 

Is it possible to absolutely be sure two things are true, even though they 100% contradict each other? It made no sense, but to him it did. He knew The Watchers were there. He saw them. But he also knew that Dr. S and Sylvia were telling the truth when they assured him that they were not and never there, and that sentient shadows do not exist.

So- he knew they didn't exist. But he also knew they did. He knew he wasn't supposed to believe. But to Peter, it wasn't a question of 'believing'. They just did. Even though he knew they didn't.

Like he said. It made no sense. But to him, it made all the sense in the world. 

Although.... last time he saw them, which was about several months ago, he told Sylvia, who told Dr. S and he made a med adjustment and they went away. But Peter knew they didn't actually go _away away_ the meds made it just so that he didn't _see_ them anymore. But they were still there. 

He knew he should have mentioned seeing The Watchers to Dr. S yesterday, during his monthly check in. But.... he didn't want anything to jeopardize his Aunt's trip. And if there was gonna be a med adjustment, he was sure that she'd insist on staying with him to make sure he leveled out OK. And that was just not gonna happen. He was not going to let her lose this opportunity to get away and get her training.

And The Watchers had always been harmless anyway. 

*******************************************************************************************

All the Avengers were standing off to the side of the great room, each with a small but different smirk on their face.

"Aw, Aunt May...you're embarrassing me in front of the Avengers." Peter stage whispered. Pretending to be horrified, he wiped off his Aunt May's kisses and tried pushing her toward the elevator doors. She and Happy had walked Peter up to the Avengers floor of Stark Tower. 

With a side long glance at the super heroes (who were all in various stages of trying to hold in their laughter, he said loudly and cartoonishly, "BYE AUNT MAY LOVE YOU, BYE!!!! BYE!! HAVE A GOOD TRIP!!!" as he kept shoving her as she laughed gleefully trying with octopus arms to give him One Last Hug and Kiss. Finally she relented and stopped resisting, allowing Peter to put her in the elevator. Happy followed suit and said, "be right back Boss."

"Bye baby, I LARB YOU!!!!!" she yelled with a wink as she blew a kiss to him as the elevator doors closed on them. She was so preoccupied with leaving for the shuttle on time and with making Peter laugh that she forgot to remind Tony about Peter's meds. oh well, it's just a week and Peter's 14 now, he has to take on more responsibility she supposed. And, he _did_ promise her that Tony was aware. 

He covered his face with his hands as everyone around him burst out laughing. He felt Mr. Stark's arm wrap around his shoulder as the man said, "Yay! Pete's sleeping over for a week!"

"Spider Baby gets to stay!"

"Awww, Who's gonna babysit the little munchkin?!?!"

"I'm not eating pizza all week, I'm just saying that right now."

"What time's his bedtime? Dark?!"

"Tony, you got a carseat?"

Tony was laughing so hard he was bracing his hands on his knees. Natasha and Clint were making ridiculous catcalls and baby noises. Even Mr. Captain America himself was making jokes. It was all in good fun. They all had spent loads of time with Peter in the last few months and each and everyone of them adored the boy. He was just too easy a target when it came to his age though. 

"But is he potty trained?", that was Cap. Everyone lost it again with that one. 

Peter groaned, "guys. really?"

"Everyone pipe down," said Tony loudly, "I'm gonna take the Spider-baby and put him down for his nap." he ended with a snicker.

"Mr. Staaaaark!" groaned Peter trying to wriggle out from his grasp, 

"But no, seriously, I'm gonna take the pipsqueak up to his room, then I call first dibs on him for lab time. See you jokers at dinner!" Tony called as he escorted Peter to the elevator.

Most of the Avengers lived either on the floor of the common room, or one floor above or below it. Clint was on the same floor as the common room. He liked it because it was closest to the living room which had the sickest gaming set up in the Tower. Cap, Sam and Natasha had apartments on the floor above, and Sergeant Barnes, Rhodes (for when he was in town), and Bruce had apartments on the floor below the common floor. Peter knew there was a spare apartment on each of those floors, so he was surprised when Mr. Stark took him to the the elevator and said, "Friday, take us up to my apartment."

"Yes, Boss" she replied in her polite, slightly accented voice. 

"Oh, Friday, give Peter Parker biometric access to my penthouse and the common floor areas, no restrictions. And allow him access to the labs only when accompanied by me or Bruce."

"Yes, Boss" she replied.

Tony was looking down and tapping at his phone as he relayed all this to his AI on the elevator. He looked up and smiled at Peter as the elevator doors opened up directly into what looked like his living room. He put his arm around his kid and said "C'mon kid, I'll take you to your room."

Peter remained quiet, as even though he was used to hanging out with the Avengers, and especially Mr. Stark, that was different from you know, like being in your jammies around them, and going to bed and stuff around them. And as Tony Stark was escorting him into his private apartment, it suddenly hit him. So, yeah, he was nervous. He didn't really know where he was gonna stay and didn't feel like it was his place to say, so he just stood quietly next to his mentor. Taking in the fact that he was apparently going to be staying in Mr. Stark's own apartment took a moment. 

"C'mon kid, wakey wakey" Tony said playfully as he guided his kid-turned-zombie out of the elevator.

Peter suddenly came to life, "Oh, Mr. Stark, I don't have to stay up here with you! I can just stay somewhere down stairs! I can sleep on the couch down there! Really! I don't want to be a bother!" he stammered.

Tony, who had his arm draped over his kid (which lately, was where it usually was if he and the kid were walking around), just pulled away slightly and looked quizzically at his kid, "You're funny kid. Weird. But funny." he ended with a roll of his eyes.

He continued walking, taking Peter's duffel from him with one arm, and taking his other arm from around Peter's shoulder he pointed around, "This is the living room, obviously. Kitchen's to the right, " -- Peter looked and yes, to the right was the most enormous and beautiful kitchen he'd ever seen. Directly in front of him were floor to ceiling windows and a conservative but gorgeous living room set. So spacious. His and May's entire apartment would fit within the area rug of his living room. 

Mr. Stark continued, "You can go into the kitchen anytime, ok Pete? Mi casa es su casa. If there's something you want that we don't have, just tell Friday, she'll have it delivered."

They continued further into the apartment. Peter followed Mr. Stark through the living room and into a hallway. They passed a double set of doors on the left, "My office. You're more than welcome to go in, but just knock first if the door's closed."

He then pointed to a room they passed on the right, "That's Pepper's space, but I'm sure you're welcome to enjoy it if you'd like. There's a sauna in there, off the bathroom and a yoga room." Peter stopped for a moment at that doorway and peered in, there was a clean white space and pale floors with some beautiful potted plants and within he could see doorways into two other rooms, presumably a yoga room and the bathroom/sauna. Peter had only ever heard of saunas being in like, yurts in Scandinavian or something. "huh" he said. "Really?"

Tony smiled, "yeah kid. You should try it, it's nice."

Finally they reached the end off the hallway, a doorway was open just at the end and off to the right, just a few feet away from it, a door was closed. "That's me and Pepper's room right there, " he said, pointing to the open doorway,

"--and here's your room" he said opening the closed door. Peter had to nudge past Mr. Stark just a little to peak inside. His jaw dropped open. There was an enormous (for him) bed. It was a queen, but Peter had only ever slept on a tiny twin bed. It was made up with a blue and red comforter set and had tons of decorative pillows and stuff. There were two (!) desks, one had a brand new laptop on it, and the other had three or four brand new LEGO sets on it. And there was a bookshelf loaded down with obviously age appropriate books (Peter could tell because the covers and spines were colorful and he recognized the Harry Potter and LotR series sitting on it). It was painted in nice, bright colors which Peter knew he had painted special, because all the other rooms were super classy and painted really boring colors.

"I can't stay here Mr. Stark! It's too nice!" Peter exclaimed.

Tony just laughed, "What does that even mean kid?"

Tony continued, "Of course you can stay here, hopefully you can stay over a lot more after this one week is over, yeah?" he asked. Peter picked up a slightly...shy? (nah, this is Mr. Stark), _unsure_...tone to his question.

He quickly replied, "That...that would be great, Mr. Stark. Thank you so much for making this room for me." Peter, twisted his fingers in his hands and stood awkwardly in the doorway. 

Tony coughed in his hand, "Anyway, yeah, kid, that'd be great. But, uh...yeah, bathroom's back there-" Peter hadn't even noticed the open door way in the back of the room. He ran to it and looked in,

"--OMG IT HAS A BATHTUB! AND IT'S YUGE!"

Tony laughed from the doorway, "Yeah kid, there's even bubble bath all stocked!" "Anyway--" Tony rambled on, "--There's no TV in here, that's what the living room is for...got the latest gaming consoles out there for you--"

Peter bounced back out and ran up to his mentor, he unhesitatingly wrapped his arms around him and shoved his face into the man's chest, "Thank you Mr. Stark. You didn't have to do all this." he said, cutting off Tony's rambling and air supply.

"Oof, You're strong kid," Tony said, returning the hug and resting his chin on top of Peter's head, "no problem Pete."

"Let's go start that drone, yeah?" the older man said, breaking them apart.

"Yeah, Mr. Stark, I'd like that" Peter said happily. As he turned to leave the room, with Mr. Stark's arm once again draped over his shoulder, Peter felt, rather than saw The Watcher in the corner of the room, between the desk (the one with the laptop on it) and the window. The Palperidone was starting to kick in though, in that he was getting drowsy, so Peter asked, "Can I get a Coke first though?" And he thought to himself, 'maybe they'll go invisible again now.' even though a small part of his reasonable brain knew he needed his meds adjusted. 

Peter made the very conscious decision to not mention it to his mentor. They were harmless and he didn't want to have to explain it to Mr. Stark, most people didn't understand.

Dr. S and Sylvia did, they didn't get scared by them. But May didn't understand, and she got sacred by them. Peter thought that Mr. Stark would probably react that way too. 

******************************************


	13. The Sleepover (Part 2)

Peter seemed more subdued than usual. But Tony had chalked it up to just normal teenage behavior. This was the first time that he, or any of the other Avengers, were spending more than just a few hours with the kid, and it would be ridiculous to expect him to be as excited and excitable as he seemed to be past visits, all the time, right? But Tony kept a close on him, as Peter seemed almost ill.

It had surprised the hell out of him that first afternoon when- 

He and Peter had indeed gone right down to the labs after the tour of his room to start work on the battle/training drone plans. But after just a few hours, Peter asked if he could go back upstairs for a nap. 

"Sure kid, you feelin' ok," he asked with concern.

"Oh yeah, Mr. Stark, everything's great! I think I maybe just got too excited about everything and I didn't sleep well last night. I'm just...uh..tired."

And Tony had noticed that as the morning had progressed the kid looked like he could barely stay awake, even after having a can of soda. "No problem kid, go on up, I'll be down here- we can have lunch when you're up. Friday'll let me know."

"Uh...ok, kinda creepy, but OK."

"Get used to it kid. Friday is everywhere except the bathrooms, she'll let me know when you're up." 

Peter just nodded drowsily as he left his mentor to work alone in the lab. He made his way up the elevator '--uh, Friday...can you take me up to Mr. Stark's apartment...uh, please?"

"Yes Mr. Parker" she said.

"Uh, can you just call me Peter, please, Friday?"

"Yes, Peter."

"Thanks, Friday." he said exiting the elevator on Mr. Stark's floor. He made his way to his room, thinking how annoyed he was. The shot of Palperidone had made him so sleepy, he was used to it, but was still annoyed that it had to happen when he was visiting Mr. Stark and the Avengers. Lame. Hopefully no one would notice. Well, not that much anyway. Or think he was weird. He took off his sneakers and was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. 

The next thing he knew, someone was gently running their hand through his hair. Nice.

After a few hours of working, Tony called up to Friday, "What time is it Friday?"

"It's 2:37pm Boss, you have been in the lab for 4 hours and 19 minutes."

Oh, he needed to get the kid to eat lunch. It was his first day watching the kid and he was already screwing it up.

"Friday is the kid awake? Seems like a long nap."

"Peter still appears to be asleep Boss."

"Right. OK. I guess I have to go wake him up." he decided.

Tony wiped his hands on an oily rag, stood up from his stool, popping his back and said, "Shut down the lab, Fri." as he made his way up to his apartment.

When he came upon Peter's open door, he hesitantly poked his head inside. He'd never really spent much time with kids and Peter was definitely the exception, but he wanted to give the kid privacy if he needed it. But it was time for lunch, well, past time. But still. When he looked into the room, his heart just melted.

Peter was passed out cold. His face was smooshed into the pillow and there was a giant drool puddle under his mouth. Somehow the kid was sleeping with one arm bent back behind his shoulder blade and the other arm flung out to his side on top of a pale green and blue stuffed turtle. He had pulled off his jeans and was sleeping in bright green boxer briefs with one foot hanging out of the bed from under the covers, with a sock dangling precariously from it. Tony picked up the kids jeans from off the floor as he made his way quietly to the bed. He sat down gently and rested his hand on the kid's shoulder.

"Kiddo, time to wake up bud."

"Hey kid, time for lunch buddy." Nothing. Jesus, kid slept like a stone.

And without being able to help himself, what even was this, Tony ran his fingers through the kid's unruly hair. It was a little sweaty and tangled up from the kid's power nap, but it just felt so nice and right. He continued to run his hand through Peter's hair, saying "Hey kid. c'mon bud, time to wake up."

Finally, the kid started to wake up. Tony pulled his hand back and _lovingly_ (yeah) watched the kid untangle himself from the sheets.

In what the the most adorable thing he'd ever see, Tony watched as Peter clenched and un-clenched his hands then rub at his face and eyes with his fists all balled up. Before becoming aware that Tony was sitting on the bed next to him.

"gah! Mr. Stark! gah! oh my gosh! I'm awake! I'm awake!" he squawked as he sat up in bed,

Tony just stood up and laughed, "Good kid, because it's lunch time. Get your pants on...wait, are those HULK UNDERPANTS?!"

Peter laughed and shoved at his mentor to get out of his room so he could put on his pants, "Yes they are, so what?! Hulk is the best! Mr. Stark stop laughing!"

"I can't have my kid wearing that merch. I'm getting you Iron Man underpants! This is unacceptable!"

"Mr. Stark!" 

************************************************************************************ 

Peter had to take a couple more power naps the first two days of his stay, but other than that he felt OK after his Palperidone shot from Thursday. And Mr. Stark didn't seem to mind. Every day, Peter took his morning and evening doses of meds (his other anti-psychotic, the anti-tremor meds, and the dreaded horse pill sedative) in the privacy of his room. He had shoved his plastic Hulk cup into his duffel bag just before leaving the apartment, and that little piece of home was sitting on the counter in his fancy bathroom. He felt pretty responsible standing his his own bathroom every morning and evening taking his pills without his Aunt (or the school nurse, or a counselor) having to check his mouth afterwards. He could do this. See? No one here needed to know about his stupid meds. Ridiculous. He kept the pill box kind of hidden in a drawer in the bathroom. He was glad there were no cameras or Friday in there. 

He kept his mid-day doses in his pocket, so he'd have it on him if they were out.

Even though Tony wanted to spend as much time as he could with the kid, he still had a mutli-billion dollar company that he was head of R&D for. So he had to take at least one or two meetings a day. On one of these afternoons, Ms. Romanov had taken him out for pizza. He quickly shoved his afternoon pills into his mouth and swallowed them at the table when he thought she wasn't looking, but of _course_ she noticed.

"You feel ok Pete? What's that you're taking?" she asked with concern in her voice, tipping her chin towards where his hand had been holding his pills.

"Oh, uh, it nothing. Just uh, you know, for heartburn, from all the cheese and grease." he said. He laughed lightly and doubled down on his fib, "You know, I love pizza, but pizza doesn't love me!" Then he quickly jumped up from the table, ready to leave.

Natasha, wiping the corners of her mouth, looked sidelong at him and just 'hhmmm'd' in response. The kid seemed fine. And he did just eat 6 slices of pizza. She didn't worry about it, just put the little episode away in her mind where she put all her little observations away. Sometimes these little tid-bits came in useful, sometimes not. But such was the restless mind of a trained killer.

Another time, Mr. Barton caught him taking his mid afternoon dose when he walked in on Peter in the common room kitchen. Peter supposed it wasn't normal to see a 14 yr old kid swallow pills so he wasn't surprised when Mr. Hawkeye/Barton asked him the same thing, "You OK there squirt?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Hawkeye...uh, Mr. Barton sir, I'm fine. Just uh.... you know, some Advil. I think I might have over done it with Mr. Barnes this morning."

Clint gave him a concerned look, "It is something you need to go to the med bay for? I'm sure Tony'll call one of his docs over if you've hurt yourself."

Peter yelped, "No! No! I'm fine, really Mr. Hawkeye, sir--"

"Gezz kid, you make me feel 90 years old, call me Clint for chrissakes."

"No thanks Mr. Barton, I'll just stick with Mr. Barton if that's OK."

Clint just rolled his eyes, "You're sure your're ok kid? I know Barnes' arm packs a wallop--"

"Nope, nope, I'm fine, thanks though sir. Gotta go now, Happy's waiting for downstairs, he's taking me to the Central Park Zoo. Gotta go now bye!"

***************************************************************************

May called Peter once she had arrived at the resort but the reception had been so terrible that they both gave up on the call and just agreed to stay in touch via text. And they did, every night, they'd check in with each other. 

Peter would lay in his unbelievably comfortable fancy bed and lay in bed staying up late texting Ned, MJ and his Aunt May. Peter didn't mention to any of them that he was staying in Mr. Stark's own apartment. May and Ned just assumed he was staying somewhere in the Tower and for some reason he didn't really understand, he didn't dissuade them of that notion.

MJ only texted about whether or not he got to hang out with Ms. Potts. 

****************************************************************************************** 

Peter and Tony had decided that Spider-Man would have the week off. They were busy making upgrades to Peter's suit and it was half taken apart anyway. And after the whole debacle with The Vulture, Peter was OK taking some time off anyway. He'd get plenty of Spider-Manning time in over the summer in Queens and he was just fine with that.

So he spent the week training with Mr. Barnes and Ms. Romanov, even Captain America! He and Mr. Barton also played a bunch of video games in the common room. ...

*************************************************

...and then the week was over and May was coming back. Peter was sad to have his visit end, but he really missed his Aunt May and was looking forward to being back to their pokey apartment, just the two of them. Because as nice as it had been to stay, he was ready to go home.

On Friday morning, a week and a day after May had left, Peter packed up his bag right when he woke up, brushed his teeth, took his morning doses, packed his cup and went to go wait for Happy down in the common room. Hawkeye and Black Widow had left suddenly two days ago. Mr. Rogers, Rhodey and Sam had flown back up to DC for another meeting with Secretary Ross and Mr. Barnes was upstate at the Compound leading some training for the weekend, so there wasn't much going on.

Tony had a BIG IMPORTANT meeting first thing this morning that was going to last all day and probably into the evening, so he wasn't going to be around either. So they decided that Peter could just go home and wait for his Aunt since they didn't know exactly when she would be back. It was supposed to be sometime between mid-morning and lunchtime. And Peter wanted to have a nice homemade lunch ready for his Aunt, so asked to be dropped off early. 

Tony came down from his apartment a few moments after Peter. He looked really cool. He was wearing one of his impressive, kind of weird, but awesome on him suits. It was some shiny dark maroon color. He was wearing a black shirt and tie with matching maroon tinted glasses. He looked like a million bucks. And well, it just may been about a million bucks, considering the watch and cufflinks he was wearing...

"Wow, Mr. Stark, you look great!" 

Then Pepper arrived too. She looked even more impressive than Mr. Stark. Pencil skirt, slicked back and long pony tail, tailored blazer and sky high heels. All in coordinating hues of cream and gold. 

"Woooow Ms. Potts. You look like a bazillion bucks."

She smiled at him and said, "Thanks Pete. Tony and I both have to meet with some important people today, so we have to look the part!"

Peter said, "Yeah, you always look nice though. Who are you meeting?"

Happy came into the common room at this point carrying two compact, black, overnight bags. "Car's ready Boss. You ready Pete?"

As Tony grabbed an apple from the fruitbowl on the counter and Pepper put a lid on her travel mug of coffee, he said to Peter, "We're off to London, but we'll be back by Monday. C'mon, let's go," he said with his hands full of his briefcase in one hand and Peter's duffel in the other, and the apple sticking out of his mouth- pushing Peter towards the elevator.

********************************

Outside Peter and May's apartment building, Peter hopped out and since he didn't want to draw any unwanted attention to Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts he insisted they stay inside the car. He gave them both a hug and kiss awkwardly in the car before saying "Thanks again for letting me stay! I had a great time!!"

He went around the back of the car and Happy popped the trunk and handed him his bag, "Here ya go kid, see ya around," he said without looking at Peter as he got back in the driver's seat.

Tony had rolled down his window, "I'll call you tonight, kid, OK? And we'll be back by Monday, so maybe you can come back---"

"Boss, we gotta go, we gotta get you on that plane," said Happy sternly from the front seat.

Peter laughed, "It's ok Mr. Stark, bye Ms. Potts! I hope your meeting goes well! I'll see you soon! Thanks again!!"

Happy drove off and Peter saw Mr. Stark stick his head out the window and smile and wave like a goof before turning the corner. Peter smiled to himself and went up to their apartment


	14. Tether

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve come to realize the real heroes of this website are the people who make kind and funny comments. Kudos and thanks to you all!!

It was just 8:00am, so May wasn't gonna be back for at least an hour or two.

First Peter made a quick run down to the corner grocery store and used some of the leftover cash he had (Mr. Stark had kept trying to give Peter ridiculous amounts of cash, but Peter had shoved it all back into the fruitbowl before he left, keeping just a few small bills) to buy some grocery staples.

Then he went back home and spent an hour cleaning it up _just so._ He knew May always said the best thing about going away was coming back to a clean apartment.

Then he made a plate of ham and cheese sandwiches for them to have with some juice he bought. He sliced some apples and put them on a plate, then covered it real tight with plastic wrap and put them in the fridge to stay cold.

Then he waited. Noon came and went. He checked his phone but he hadn't missed any calls. He had texted May several times, but they only said 'delivered'. Peter figured she must have not charged her phone overnight. She always forgot. But she'd always have to take a charger to work. He tried calling but it went right to voicemail.

By the time 2 o'clock came around Peter started to get worried. He checked his messages again, and verified that last night May had said she was gonna be back home before lunch. 

He didn't want to eat the sandwiches without May, so he wrapped them up in plastic wrap too, and put them in the fridge next to the plate of apple slices.

He was getting scared, as kids do sometimes. It started to ramp up, and he was getting more and more nervous and the minutes ticked by. 

Then at 3:35, his phone rang. He felt an immediate sense of relief as he thought' this has to be MAY! FINALLY! At least she's calling! THANK GOD."

But then he looked down at the phone and it wasn’t May. He hesitated for two rings before picking it up because unknown numbers were always robocalls...but maybe this was the shuttle bus company or something.

It wasn't. 

"Hello?" he said quietly and hesitantly.

"Hello? Is this Peter Parker?" said a woman's voice.

"uh...yes." he said. Robocallers don't know your name. Why did this lady know his name? He twisted his free hand in his shirt.

"Hi, my name is Carol and I'm calling from New York Hospital." Peter guessed that the woman on the phone could tell he was a kid because she asked, "Peter, how old are you? Is there an adult I can speak to?"

Peter felt a stone forming in his gut. He did not like this. He didn't want to keep talking on the phone with this lady, but knew he had to.

"I'm uh..I'm 14. There's no one else here."

There was a pause on the other end of the phone, Carol said, "Oh. Um...ok. Well, Peter, May Parker had this number in her phone as her ICE. I'm very sorry to say that there was a multi vehicle accident on the NJ turnpike coming onto the island and...well, I'm sorry but there were several fatalities. Ms. Parker was one of them. Is there someone who can come to hospital Peter?"

Peter didn't say anything. He couldn't say anything.

From the other end of the phone, Carol repeated herself, "Peter? Peter honey? Is there someone you can call to help you?"

Peter thought about the sandwiches and apples in the refrigerator. He thought about the new sheets he had put on May's bed. He thought about how she still tucked him in at night. 

What was he going to do?

"Peter? Peter? Can you hear me?" Carol called, it seemed from far away.

Finally, Peter answered her, "Yes ma'am. I'll call someone. New York Hospital?"

"That's right, Peter. If you get here before 10pm tonight, I'll be at the triage desk in the ER, just ask for Carol ok honey? I'm really sorry for your loss, Peter." then she hung up.

Peter stared at his phone. He didn't understand. May was coming home. 

She was supposed come home today. She went to the Poconos for a work thing, then she was coming home.

Today. But she was really late. 

That lady said Aunt May was part of some accident. But Aunt May wasn't driving. She was on a bus. A bus wouldn't get in an accident would it? 

The lady said May Parker had his number in her phone as the In Case of Emergency number.

That had to be his Aunt May right? Carol said May Parker. And she had Peter's phone number. Maybe there was still a mistake there. Should he wait for Aunt May? What should he do?

He started crying. He was so scared and confused. 

What was he gonna do?

***************************************************

Happy Hogan was getting bored. The flight over to London had been uneventful and so far the meetings taking place were uneventful. Which was great, but as a bodyguard/chauffeur it mean it was boring. He was currently sitting in some lobby off some floor of The Shard where Tony and Pepper were ensconced in the first and only meeting for the day. 

They had arrived around 6:30pm London time and it was now closing in on 8:00. After this, they were to be escorted to a London premiere of some big theater thing (Happy had no idea what, he was just gonna go along for the ride) which was supposed to have a red carpet at 9:00 he thought, so at least, they should be coming out soon. He was counting the number of potted plants in the lobby when _thank god_ his phone rang. At least it was something to do.

He took a look at his phone, huh Peter Parker. He was a bit surprised since he figured he and his Aunt would be busy catching up all day. He checked the time and calculated that it was about 4:00pm in NY.

The days of Happy ignoring Peter's calls were long gone (after The Vulture, Happy never too Tony's kid for granted again) so he promptly answered, keeping his voice down in the business lobby.

"Hey kid, what's up?"

Happy didn't hear anything for a minute, but he knew someone was on the line he could hear breathing and...sniffing?

"Peter? Pete? Is this you?" his voice was getting higher and louder, he looked around him to make sure he wasn't drawing too much attention.

"Peter? Is this you? And if this is not Peter Parker, you had better pray to God---

(sniff) "It's me Happy, It's Peter. Sorry." Peter said quietly.

"Jesus Peter. You scared me for a second. Why didn't you answer? What's going on?"

All Happy heard from Peter's end of the line was more breathing. Kid was making him nervous. "Kid, Peter, What's. Going. On?"

Peter sniffed again. When he began to speak he sounded so so scared. "Happy? Happy? I don't know what to do."

Happy stayed calm, but he needed to find out what was happening. "Kid, what's happened? What don't you know what to do? Where's May? Can I talk to her? Put her on the phone."

Peter started crying outright at that point, "I--- I....I can't. She's not home yet. Happy. I don't know what to do."

Happy was confused, "Peter, calm down kiddo, ok? Just breathe for a minute then tell me slowly what's going on."

Peter seemed to clam down for a moment, but Happy could tell he was stilll crying. "I dunno Happy. I've been waiting all day for May. But her phone's been off. And some lady called, a nurse I think? From New York hospital...and she said she had my number from May's phone. And that there was an accident and...and that there were fatalities and she said...she said May.... But. But...I don't...Happy....May's not home yet. And that lady called. But May's coming home today. She's coming home...." 

Peter started crying again and wailed, "I don't know what to do. The lady said I need to get to the hospital before 10, but May's not here and I don't want to leave in case she gets back. But the lady on the phone said she had a May Parker's phone and she had my number Happy. Why would she have my number Happy? She said she was sorry for my loss. But...But May's coming home on a bus Happy...."

Happy put it all together in his mind. He hung his head down and put his hand to his face. He took in a deep breath.

Oh fuck. Oh jesus fuck. Fucking Hell. No.

No. Not this. Not to May. Not to Peter. Oh jesus christ. The kid was getting hysterical. He had to calm him down. Jesus. He could hear the kid start to hyperventilate.

"Peter. Peter. Peter, buddy. Listen to me, OK? Just listen to me. Tony's gonna be there ok? Tony's gonna be there in 4 hours. That's 8pm ok? He will be there I promise. Do NOT, Do not leave the apartment. Do not go anywhere, OK? Tony's coming. Just rest up ok kid? You hear me kid?"

He could hear Peter calm down a little after being direct instructions and the reassurance that an adult was coming. 

Peter with hitching breaths said, "OK, Happy. Thanks Happy. But wait!" (sniff) "Wait, Happy, isn't Mr. Stark in that big meeting today? I'm sorry! I didn't know who to call! I'm sorry! You're in London! I forgot!!! Happy, I forgot!! I'm so sorry!--"

"KID!" yelled Happy, he felt bad about that, but he had to get the kid's attention, "Peter, I promise you buddy, it's OK."

Happy wanted to give the kid some comfort before he had to hang up with him, "Listen kid, Tony's coming, ok? Just stay in the apartment, he'll be there as soon as he can, which is gonna be about 4 hours. So just sit tight."

"OK Happy," Peter sounded a bit dejected and wrung out, but it was the best Happy could do at the moment.

"OK kid, we'll see you soon." then he hung up.

Oh jesus fucking christ. Please God let this all be a mistake, please let May be alive. 

********************************************************

Happy, as discreetly as he could, interrupted Tony and Pepper's meeting. There was nothing for it. As much as Pepper ran Stark Industries, it was still vital that Tony take part in the formation of new partnerships and brokering new relationships. That's what this meeting was all about. A meeting that just started and hour ago and was supposed to stretch over two days.

Laptops were out in front of the dozen or so people in the room and oh damn, someone very important was standing up and talking right now. Tony looked at Happy and made a very pointed and slightly annoyed look at him.

The VIP in front of everyone paused, and said, "Can we help you sir? This is a closed and _private_ meeting."

"I uh, I know, sir, I'm very sorry. I just need uh Mr. Stark.... I need to talk to him."

Standing up and giving his most gracious smile to the various members of the room, Tony said, "My apologies ladies and gentlemen, please give me just a moment."

Tony grabbed Happy by the elbow and pushed him towards the far back corner of the board room, "Jesus, hap, what? What do you need?"

But Tony took one look at Happy's face and knew something serious had happened, "What's happened Happy?"

With a nervous glance around the room (Pepper was shooting lasers through her eyes at him, gripping a pen so hard it looked like it was going to snap), Happy lost his courage for a moment until TOny shook his elbow again, "Happy, what's happened?"

Happy didn't know how else to say it except, "Boss, I think May Parker's died. Peter got a call from a hospital. He's alone in his apartment and he sounded confused and really scared."

Tony didn't move for a second. Then he exhaled a short loud puff of air. Everyone in the room had been watching Happy and Tony and saw how Tony faltered and almost sat down on the floor, before Happy caught him by the elbow. They didn't hear any of the conversation, but Tony has lost all the color to his face and appeared to grab his left hand and squeeze it repeatedly.

"Boss, Tony. What do we do?" asked Happy in quiet earnest

Oh god his chest was hurting. Tony grabbed his left arm and breathed in for a moment. OK. Fuck. OK. He had to go help his kid. That's all he knew. He took in a few more deep slow breaths and felt some of the tension in his chest fade away.

"OK, Hap. OK. Jesus. Is the kid ok? Nevermind, you just said he wasn't" He ran in hands through his hair, "OK, OK." 

"I gotta go, that's all there is to it. I gotta get to him Happy."

He turned around and faced the room full of businessmen and women. Pepper sensed that something had gone terribly wrong. She no longer looked upset or annoyed. Im fact, no one did. The distress on Tony Stark's face was evident, and no one would think it anything other than genuine.

"Tony? What's happened?" asked Pepper, now also standing up from the table.

Tony held out his arm to keep her at bay, and addressed everyone in the room, "My apologies ladies and gentlemen, and Pepper, you too. I'm sorry but an emergency has come up and I've got to get back to NY. Pepper, Happy's going update you. You and he can stay behind until you can properly take the time process what's going on and to finish up as much business as you feel able to. But I...I.." and he faltered for a moment and tears actually started to form in his eyes as his voice shook, "And uh...Mr. Havistock, I apo-apo-logize for leaving like this, but I promise you," he sniffed and quietly cried as he pointed to Pepper, " Pepper Potts is more than capable of representing Stark Industries in my stead." 

It had taken 6 months to arrange the meeting since everyone in the room was a CEO/CFO in their own right, but everyone understood the grief and pain they saw on Tony Stark's face and didn't begrudge him the inconvenience. Tony took a look around the room, and noticed the doors to the high rise balcony. Everyone in the room gasped as he touched his watch and nanoparticles seemed to flow over his body like water forming the Iron Man suit in front of their very eyes. He opened the glass doors onto the balcony and blasted off into the night to his kid. 


	15. Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally made up some birthdates for Peter and May, don't @ me with corrections. That sounds rude. But, you know what I mean. It's ff, gimme a break.

The moment Peter hung up the phone with Happy, he fell to his knees on the small braided rug in the cozy living room. He put his head to the floor and gasps panicky breaths with his hand clenched at his heart. He murmured a small prayer over and over again under his breath. 

'Please let me make it through this day. Please let me make it through this day. Please let me make it through this day.' 

His rational mind came up with three scenarios:

The call was real and May wasn't coming home, she had been one of the fatalities that the lady Carol had mentioned. 

There was some terrible mistake and somehow May's phone got lost, maybe in that accident the nurse mentioned, and they called Peter by mistake.

Maybe May was hurt at the hospital and couldn't tell them who she was.

In a sudden realization that _maybe_ his Aunt May was hurt and alone at the hospital without him, Peter shot up from the floor. He grabbed all the extra cash from the emergency fund in the bread box and ran out the apartment to get to the hospital. He forgot all about Happy telling him to stay put and about Tony coming to help.

He was only in the moment, and getting to May was his only thought. 

From the moment he hung up with Happy to him shoving his sneakers and grabbing the cash before running out the door was less than 2 minutes. Peter didn't notice the phone he had dropped on the floor.

****************************************

During that short time, across the Atlantic, Happy told Tony the terrible news and Tony left the meeting to fly to NYC in his Iron Man suit.

**************************************

"Friday call the Kid." Tony said into his Iron Man mask.

He heard Peter's phone start to ring...and ring.... and ring.... finally it went to voicemail.

"Friday, where's Peter Parker's cell phone?" asked Tony, starting to panic.

"Mr. Parker's cell phone is currently located in his apartment." said Friday in her calm voice.

"Call Happy."

...

"Boss? What's going on, how's Peter?" Happy had rightfully assumed that the first thing Tony would do after leaving, would be to call Peter.

"I don't know. He didn't pick up," Tony replied testily. He persisted,"When you spoke to him, Hap, what did you tell him??"

Happy replied quickly, "Boss, I told him to stay put. I told him you were coming. I said you'd be there in 4 hours, and to stay put. He sounded confused, so I didn't want him wandering around."

Tony yelled "What do you mean 'confused?' like how?"

Steadying his voice and infusing it with a calm he didn't feel, Happy responded, "Calm down Tony. He sounded like a kid, ok? Like a kid who picked up a phone and was told their...well..basically his mom died. He thought maybe he was confused and kept saying that May was coming home on that damn bus. But from what I can gather from what the nurse told him, May was a fatality."

"Jesus. OK, alright. I'll try calling again. Let me know if he calls you" said Tony.

"Of course Boss. Fly safe, Pep and I decided to stay until tomorrow, then head back. She said the merger is intact and they'll sign the prelim contracts tomorrow. But everything else can be concluded remotely."

"OK, thanks Hap. Tell Pete to call the suit if you hear from him. I'm gonna push it and try to get to the City by 7:00." he said before ending the connection.

Tony tried calling Peter's phone two more times, but he never got an answer. 

"Friday, push the suit, I don't care about any other systems, just get me to Manhattan as fast as possible."

"Sir, I can get you the NYC by 7:03pm but all systems, including internal environmental controls and weapons will be offline until the next nano infusion."

"Do it Fri, but keep communication lines open. I don't care about the rest, just get me to Peter's apartment."

"Yes, sir. Estimated arrival time is 7:03".

**********************************************

Peter bolted down the stairs to the street and ran to the corner of the next block where he knew he could catch a cab. 

Holding out his arm and waving down the next available free cab, he hopped in and said "New York Hospital please. Fast please."

The veteran cabbie didn't blink an eye at a kid riding alone, he just said, "That's gonna be about 35 buck kid. You got that?"

Peter pulled out his handful of wadded up cash from his jeans pocket and saw at least two twenty dollar bills, "Yes sir. I think I'll have enough"

As the cab pulled away from the curb, Peter thought how he was not supposed to ever touch the cash he took from the breadbox. That was May's emergency fund for rent or bills. But he didn't have a choice. He had to get to the hospital as soon as he could What if she was hurt..and alone? His mind wouldn't think of any other alternatives. 

It was a warm summer evening and Peter had on a soft T-shirt, it was green (his favorite color) and an old pair of jeans. He sat alone in the back of the cab wringing his hands together, the only thought running through his mind- 'What if she's alone and scared. I have to get to her." 

Peter must have spaced out because he knew the hospital was pretty far from Queens, but the next thing he knew the cabbie said, "OK kid, front entrance or the ER entrance?"

Oh.

"Um, the ER entrance please, sir," Peter remembered the lady on the phone said to go to the ER Triage.

"OK kid, I gotta drive around the block for that, it'll be just a sec."

After another minuted where Peter finally took notice of where they were, he also noticed that the color of the sky and air was changing. It was dusk now. It had been basically daylight when he left the apartment and now the atmosphere and air was the orangey grey tone of dusk.

"Looks like it'll be 37.00, ok kid? There's the entrance to the ER, right there." The cabbie pointed out to the right of the car. He had pulled up on the curb just behind a parked ambulance.

"I hope everything's alright kid." he said kindly.

In a daze, Peter handed him two crumpled up bills and said, "Thank you sir." then he pushed open the cab door and stepped out into the hospital's ER bay.

****************************************

Peter walked into the ER entrance and looked around. There were a dozen or so people scattered around a large waiting room, some who looked asleep. Some who looked homeless and some who just looked annoyed to be accompanying someone else. Across the waiting room was a large desk with two nurses stationed at it. Peter walked there.

One of the nurses saw him approaching and greeted him, "Hi there, how can I help you?"

"Hi. Um...I'm looking for May Parker? Or...um Carol? She called me. A nurse Carol did---" as he was speaking the other nurse quickly looked up.

"Oh, Shelly, this is for me. I called him." as she said this she stood up. "Are you Peter?" she asked kindly.

Peter nodded his head. 

The nurse, Carol, Peter assumed, walked around the desk to approach him. She was wearing bright pink scrubs, layered over a long sleeve grey tee, her hospital badge identified her as Carol Lansing- Patient Liaison

Carol reached out her hand, then thought better or it, and just rested her fingertips on Peter's shoulders, "Why don't you come with me Peter?"

Peter allowed himself to be guided by her. She was a little taller than him and seemed well put together. Her hair was up in a neat bun, she had two pens in her scrub pants leg pocket, and a lanyard with her hospital ID. She grabbed an ipad on her was past the desk. As she took Peter away, they passed a refreshments counter with hot drink and snack packs of crackers on it. But they went past it. They went down a short hallway off the waiting room and Carol opened a door into a small private waiting room. A placard on the wall just outside the door was labeled 'Private consultation'.

The small room had two couches in it, one against each wall, a small coffee table, and a side table with a lamp on it. The only light came from the lamp, giving off a small warm glow.

Carol's heart broke for the kid. Before she said anything else to Peter, Carol reached over to a beige phone hanging on the wall, dialed an in-house number and said into the receiver "Hi Curt, It's Carol. I've got Peter Parker here. We're in Consult room 2.... OK. Thanks." 

****************************************************

** 1 hour ago **

After she had hung up with May Parker's emergency contact, who said he was a 14 year old kid, Carol Lansing did her due diligence. Since he turned out to be a 14 year old kid with no apparent adult supervision, she called the hospital police officer. Officer Curtis.

*

Officer Curtis then did his due diligence and used his authority to look into the deceased's history. May Parker, DOB 4/11/1985. 34 yrs old, address in Queens. No outstanding warrants or tickets or judgments, in the NY Child and Family Services computer system as a registered and in Good Standing foster parent to one Peter Benjamin Parker, DOB 8/25/2005, age 14. No other relations listed. No other registered adults at the home address. Once he found out that May Parker was a foster parent, he called Child Protective Services. He had a friend there, seeing as he was the police officer for one of New York's largest hospitals, he knew a lot of people at the Office of Children and Family Services, so he called her- Patty.

"Hey Patty, Curtis here, at NY Hospital. I got a situation unfolding here."

...

"Yeah, you know that big accident that happened this afternoon? Shut down the NJ turnpike at 2? Yeah, Caused a big jam up there. Yeah. Three fatalities. One of them was brought here, a May Parker, Queens. And since I know you cover Queens, I thought you might know 'em. She was a foster parent to a Peter B. Parker, 14 yr old kid."

...

"No? Well, I guess if they haven't come across your radar, that's a good thing in your line of work, right?"

...

"You cant come? Who are you sending then?... Charles? (sigh) No, no it's fine. He just rubs me the wrong way. Wish it were you though. Hey, we should get lunch sometime."

...

"Yeah, OK, You too. Talk to you later Patty. I'll call Charles if and when the kid gets here to identify the bod, text me his contact? Yeah, it's a tough, tough break for the kid. I'll see you later. Bye."

***************************************************

"Have a seat Peter. Is there anyone coming? Do you have an adult, someone to be with you?" Carol said quietly.

Peter sat down and fidgeted with his hands in the hem of his shirt. He didn't like how quietly this lady was talking, he wasn't delicate...just confused. She was talking to him like he was a baby. "No Ma'am. It's just me. Where's my Aunt May? Is she OK? I don't understand what's happened."

Carol had had this conversation many, many times. So she wasn't surprised when Peter didn't accept what she had already told him on the phone. Some people had to be told over and over and over that their loved one had passed away, that nothing else could be done to help them. Some people still demanded more time, more medicine, more surgery, even though the person was long declared dead by the attending physician. 

As May Parker had been. She had died on the scene of the accident. One of three fatalities in a multi-vehicle accident and that's pretty much all she knew. The attending ER doctor, Dr. Hughes, had supervised the patient transfer from the paramedics and confirmed the death and signed the paperwork when Mrs. Parker's body had arrived. However, a formal identification still had to be made, by an adult, so that's what her next task was. (sigh) This poor boy. 

"Peter, you Aunt May passed away. She died." Carol found it best to not prevaricate. And he was old enough to understand.

She watched at the boy took in the information.

Peter had hoped there was a mistake. But Carol disavowed him of that. "Could...could there be some mistake?" he asked timidly. But he knew the answer. 

"There could be. But, No, I don't think there is. We...we need someone to identify the body, to be sure. But it has to be an adult." she said.

Peter sat wringing his hands in his shirt. It was becoming distorted and stretched. He looked up and asked with sudden vehemence, "Can I see her? Please? Please, I have to see her."

Carol sighed. "I'd rather wait until you have an adult with you Peter. Isn't there anyone we can call? A teacher? Someone from school? A friend's parent?"

Peter wasn't about to call someone from school and Ned's family was already in Hawai'i. Then he remembered his conversation with Happy- He had forgotten all about that!

"I have someone... They're coming! I forgot, I had called Happy after you called me. I have someone coming! ....but it's gonna be a long time before he gets here. He said it wouldn't be until tonight, 8:00 I think. Can't I go see her please? Please?"

Carol had brought out the iPad. She read a text message that the CPS rep, Charles LHastings was on his way. She looked up to Peter, "What's their name Peter? I'll send it to the desk so they know where to find us, then I'll take you to see your Aunt's body" It was hard, but that's the term she used to be sure that Peter was getting the message. His Aunt died. 

"Tony Stark."

Carol blinked. And looked at Peter. A kid in foster care. Tony Stark? _The_ Tony Stark?... "Um...Tony Stark, Peter? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Happy said he'd be here by 8pm."

Carol blinked. Happy. Tony Stark. (sigh) well then. Ok, 'whatever' she thought. We will cross that bridge when we come to it. _Someone_ is coming. Hopefully. She brought up her iPad again and typed in a message to the front desk that 'someone' (she refused to put in Tony Stark) would be arriving to join Peter Parker around 8pm and could they please direct them to the holding room, 1221-B for M. Parker?

Then she stood up and waited for Peter to follow her to see his (apparently) last living relative's body. 

They walked together along several corridors to a quite part of the hospital, not saying anything to each other. Carol paused outside a door, labeled 1221-B that had a sheet of paper slid into a pocket on the door that had [M. Parker 04111985 pt ID 3329648878] in black sharpie scrawled on it. 

"Peter, I'm, going to wait outside the door here, OK? Your Aunt is inside, she's been prepared for you to see her. They've left her face and right arm and shoulder exposed. You can touch her if you'd like, but don't disturb the sheet, ok honey?"

Peter silently nodded. He looked like he was going to pass out. Carol put a steadying hand on his shoulder, "You going to be ok? You don't have to do this alone Peter. We can wait for your friend."

Peter stared blankly ahead as if he could see through the door. But he shook it determinedly, "No, I can do this. I was all she had. I need to be with her."

Carol sighed, "Ok, Peter, someone will be out here waiting, ok? If it's not me, it might be a gentleman named Charles, OK? He's gonna help look after you."

Peter didn't process that last part. He just knew that his Aunt lay on the other side of that door. And that she was dead. 

"Peter, If I'm not here, I'll be at the front desk. You know how to get back there?" Carol asked touching him on the arm.

"Yes Ma'am. Thank you." he said in a hollow voice.

Carol took one last analyzing look at him and nodded her head. "Ok, Peter, take as much time as you need." then she opened the door and stepped aside to let Peter in.

As she stood by and watched the boy enter the room, Carol could tell by his demeanor that the woman on the bed was his aunt. Poor kid. She quietly stepped back to give him some privacy.

The room was medium sized. There wasn't much in it. Some hospital equipment lined up along left wall. Two chairs along the wall by the door to his right. And two beds. One of which was occupied. By May's body. Peter sensed the door closing behind him and took another tentative step into the room. 

Whoever said someone who died just looked like they were sleeping had lied. What was in front of him looked like May. But it was just a shell. It had her face. But the face had no light. His Aunt's body lay on the bed reclined in front of him. Like the nurse had said, her face and right arm and shoulder were exposed. The rest was covered in a white sheet. Her face looked fine, there was a small bruise on her left temple. There were small cuts to her shoulder and a scrape on the knuckles of her hand. But otherwise she looked fine. Other than being a lifeless shell of his most loved one ever. Peter pulled one of the chairs closer to the bed, and held onto the hand that was exposed.

"May? May? What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?" He leaned his head against his hand holding hers and just lay there. Quietly sobbing. 

After a few moments he noticed a Watcher out of the corner of his eyes. He had told Dr. S about the Watchers a while ago. They were harmless. Inky black shadows. Sentient shadows. Constantly watching over Peter. They lurked around in the corner of Peter’s mind, and made themselves visible on occasion. Once, as he lay in bed he watched one glide across his bedroom from one corner to another. But mostly, the shadows stayed in his peripheral vision.

Dr. S. had always been insistent that Peter not engage with his hallucinations. But Peter knew that the Watchers were always there. Always present whether he saw them or not.

So, as an entreaty to the only other presence in the room, Peter spoke to the Watcher.

“Please, please make sure her soul finds home. Make sure she gets to the good place. OK? Please make sure she gets to the good place. It’s where she belongs.”

To his surprise, the inky shadow moved closer to the foot of the bed. A black smoke rose from it’s body an hovered over May’s shrouded feet. The cloud of grey smoke hung in the air for a moment before being pulled back into the body of the Watcher. Peter watched silently. This was new. But he was glad that the Watcher had seemed to listen to him. He imagined that the smoke he saw would tether itself to May’s soul and take her to Ben. 

Tired, he lay his head back down on his hands. 

*******************************

Some time later, Peter had no idea how much time had passed, he reached to grab his phone out of his pocket then realized he didn't bring it with him. There was a cheap clock on a table by one of the beds. 

6:45. May's hand was cold and he felt alone in the room. Whatever presence he felt for a moment when he had entered the room was gone now. So was the Watcher. He took one last look at his Aunt, his May and left the room. 

When he stepped outside Carol was gone and a large, tall man was leaning against the opposite wall.

“Hey there, are you Peter Parker?” asked the man. Peter's Spider-sense immediately flared up. He took a step back and pressed himself against the closed door behind him.

Charles Hastings was tired. It was almost 7:00 on a Friday. He had _just_ stepped foot inside his cozy apartment when he got the on-call alert to get back to the hospital. Normally he’d have more patience.

Peter didn’t respond to his question, he just stood in the doorway, frozen.

Charles sighed. He had read Peter’s file on the train ride back to the hospital. The kid didn’t look 14, looked more like 12. Kind of shrimpy. His clothes looked worn, but alright.

“Listen kid, I’m sorry, real sorry for your loss. My name is Mr. Hastings. I’m with CPS and I’m here to take you to your new foster placement ok? I know you’ve had a rough evening, so let’s get out of here.” Charles tried to inject as much kindness and patience as he could into the statement. At the words “CPS” Peter freaked out. His heart rate increased and his breathing became heavy.

Uh-oh. Charles who had navigated countless situation such as this could feel where the proverbial wind was blowing. Time to de-escalate.

“Peter, I promise you, I know the lady who runs the group home you’re being transferred to. She’s one of the good ones. A real nice lady. You’ll be fine.” He said placatingly. And Charles really did believe these statements were soothing. But to Peter they sounded terrifying.

All Peter knew was that he was _not_ an orphan. He had had an Uncle and an Aunt and he did NOT belong in some system for orphans, some strangers home.

“I’m not going” Peter stated plainly.

Charles sighed, He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Kid,-

“My name is Peter,” Peter didn’t know why, since literally everyone- the Avengers and Mr. Stark called him ‘kid’ all the time, but he did not like it when this man did, it put his hackles up.

“OK, sorry- Peter,” Charles continued, “I can’t leave you here, you have to come with me, ok?” Then he reached out and grabbed Peter’s arm.

And that’s when Peter freaked out.

He immediately pulled back his hand and yelled, “I’m not going with you! I don’t belong there! I’ll be fine! Just leave me alone!”

Officer Curtis came around the corner then, his hand at his belt, where a pistol and other weaponry was accessible. He appraised the situation in a moment, “You OK Mr. Hastings?”

Charles looked relieved to see the police officer. “Yeah, yeah, thanks, Officer. I’m just talking to Mr. Parker here, I need him to come with me.”

“OK kid, c’mon, let’s not make this harder than it needs to be. Let’s get you somewhere where you can sleep, I know you must be tired.” The officer said.

Peter was really freaking out now. Behind him was the room with his Aunt’s corpse and in front of him were two scary adults. A police officer and a man from CPS. He wasn’t thinking clearly, he just _knew_ that if he allowed himself to be taken away by the CPS man then he would never be found again. Not by Happy, not by Mr. Stark or Mr. Rhodes, or Miss Potts. He’d never see Ned or MJ again, he’d be going _away_. That was his thought process at the moment. So he tried to run for it. Unfortunately for him, Officer Curtis had really fast reflexes. It all happened so fast.

One moment Peter was standing frozen in front of the two men, then he lurched forward to try and run. The police officer grabbed his left arm and Peter’s momentum made him twist and he flung out his right arm which caught the CPS representative on the jaw.

Charles reeled back and grabbed his jaw, “Ah! Kid! Calm down! Jesus!”

Officer Curtis’ training kicked in and he attempted to subdue the combatant. He used his (much greater) mass to plant his leg in front of Peter and swung Peter’s left arm behind him while putting his knee into the back of Peter’s forcing him to the ground. He quickly put his other knee into Peter’s back smooshing him onto the ground. Peter was too confused and wrung out to fight back.

And that’s when Iron Man showed up.

***********************************************

Once Tony had gone on auto pilot toward Peter’s apartment, he called his best lawyer.

“Hey Jim. I need a favor.”

…

“No, no, I didn’t do anything stupid. Calm down.”

…

“Listen Jim, I need you to draw up some Emergency Guardianship papers.”

…

“Yeah. Yeah. You heard me. Don’t make me repeat it. I need it like _now_ Jim. I got…I’ve got a situation, ok? You know the kid…You know, Peter Parker, my intern…”

…

“Yeah, that’s him. Look, his aunt just died. Car accident I think. I need you to get those papers to New York Hospital. I’m on my way to pick up the kid and then I’m gonna take him there.”

…

“Yeah, _I was_ in London. Right now I’m somewhere over the Atlantic, I should be at the Hospital around 8? I dunno, I gotta go pick up the kid first. He’s alone at his apartment right now. “

…

“Yeah Jim I know what I’m doing. No, he’s a good kid Jim. Yeah. OK. Thanks.”

…

“Oh, make sure to grab a couple of NDAs to bring with you. I don’t know how many. OK? Thanks Jim. Really. I’ll see you soon”.

…

He had no doubt that the eminently capable Jim Jenkins could get the papers squared away. This was child’s play for his lawyers. They were used to getting the impossible done for Tony Stark, and they were compensated very, very well for it. And Jim, the longest retained and most trusted lawyer on his team was the best man for the job.

****************************

As soon as Tony landed on the roof of Peter’s apartment building precisely at 7:03 he ran straight to Peter’s apartment as the nanosuit retracted back into it’s housing. He made his way down several flights of stairs and approached the Parker’s apartment. As he raised his fist to knock on the door, the door opened as soon as his fist made contact. It hadn’t been latched.

Tony hesitantly walked into the small apartment. He could tell by that particular silence and still air left, that the apartment wasn’t occupied. He made a short survey of Peter’s room, May’s room and the bathrooms to confirm. _Shit. Looks like the kid went on his own._

He noticed Peter’s starkphone on the braided rug in the living room. He picked it up and used his thumbprint to wake it up. He saw the last call was to Happy. He dialed the number.

“Kid?! Are you OK?” yelled Happy from the other end of the phone.

“Hap, it’s just me. Peter’s not in his apartment. He left his phone here. I’m guessing he went to the hospital the nurse called from. It was New York Hospital right?”

“Yeah boss.” Replied Happy.

“OK, thanks” Tony responded, then without any further discussion he hung up.

Activating the nanosuit again, he ran out the apartment doors back to the roof to get to the hospital.

***********************************

8 minutes later he landed in front of the hospital to a few bystanders astonishment. Without stopping he retracted the nanosuit and strode into the ER.

Right as he was about to reach the help desk he heard a voice screaming bloody murder. A voice he recognized. His kid. 

And because he was Tony-freaking-Stark no one tried to stop him as he followed the sounds of Peter’s voice just down the hall and around a corner.

What he saw made him see red. Hot, angry, vicious red. In an instant his was enclosed in his Iron Man armor and his right arm was raised. Through the Iron Man mask he spoke out—

“ _Get the fuck away from my kid. Right now.”_

Carol, who had been at the help desk when she saw Tony Stark striding purposefully up to the desk before hauling _ass_ around the corner, had followed him and stood stock still. She watched as Officer Curtis looked up and saw the moment when he realized Iron Man was aiming his gauntlet at him. You never saw someone get up so fast. And Charles was still holding onto his now red jawline. He face was turned to the billionaire superhero not seeming to register who was actually standing in front of him. The hallway had ended in a dead end and was pretty spacious. But having Iron Man standing in it made the space suddenly smaller. Even though Tony Stark wasn’t a big man, Iron Man was a giant, somehow.

All the adults stood back, as Peter, Curtis’ weight suddenly off his back, curled up into a ball on his elbows and knees. The poor boy was crying quietly.

Suddenly Iron Man was gone and Tony Stark was walking towards the child. He was still in his custom tailored business suit from the morning. A time that seemed a millions miles away now.

He knelt down by Peter.

“Peter, buddy. I’m here now. I’m here.” He leaned down and put his forehead on Peter’s back stroking the boy’s back with his right hand. Peter had begun to cry in all the confusion and uproar, “Ssshhh buddy. I’m here. Tony’s here.”

Carol, Curtis and Charles looked on in amazement. Carol couldn’t believe it. _The_ Tony Stark was here. He actually came. And he went from being the scariest freaking thing she had ever seen to one of the gentlest parents (?) she had ever seen.

Peter had his eyes shut stubbornly and tightly against his surroundings. But he allowed himself to sneak out a hand and was using a finger to gently feel the fabric of Tony’s suit pants. His mind recalled that this was the same feeling that he felt when his hands had rubbed Mr. Stark’s back up and down when they hugged and said their goodbye this morning. 

Then Peter registered a voice. Mr. Stark’s voice. He was making comforting noises. Peter allowed himself to peek out beyond the shadows his brown curly hair and hands were making around his face. He saw the same dark maroon color of Mr. Stark’s nice fancy suit from the morning.

He breathed a sigh of relief. Then it hit him, Mr; Stark came!

Tony paused as he felt Peter’s muscles tense up. The boy suddenly sat up and threw himself at Tony. Tony had braced himself on his knees and heels and caught the boy and held him in a tight and fierce hold.

Tony held on knowing that **he** was going to take of the boy, now and forever and Peter held on knowing that he wasn’t **alone** anymore. Mr. Stark came.

You had to give credit to Charles. He bravely broke the silence and said, “Uh, Mr. Stark? I’m uh…I’m Charles Hastings with the Department of Child and Family Services, I need to take Peter---“

Tony had stood up and guided Peter to stand up too. Carol noticed he had gently guided Peter to stand behind him, so that he was between the boy and Charles.

“That’s no going to happen.” Mr. Stark said with finality.

Again, you had to hand it to Charles, he was trying, “Mr. Stark, I’m very sorry, but the situation is clear. I read over Peter’s file and Mrs. Parker did not have a secondary guardian in place. By law, Peter became a ward of the state when Mrs. Parker’s death certificate was signed. He _has_ to come with me.”

A thunderous look was coming over Tony Stark’s face. He stated, “No Mr. Hastings, it’s _you_ who does not understand the situation. Peter will be coming with me. He is not and will never be placed into some stranger's home.”

Charles didn’t get paid enough for this. “Mr. Stark, I understand your frustration. _But,_ there is a system in place to protect orphaned minors. If you wish to foster Mr. Parker, you can go to the CPS offices and fill out the proper forms to become a foster parent. It will only take three weeks to review your application, but in the meantime you can attend all the necessary classes and….”

“I don’t think so,” declared Tony.

Peter had become tense behind him, he was squeezing Tony’s hand and Tony could feel slight tremors going through Pete’s hands. He turned to his kid, “Don’t worry Pete. I’ll get this all sorted. We’ll be leaving soon.” Soothed Tony.

“OK Mr. Stark.” Replied Peter quietly.

“Mr. Stark! Please! I can’t let you---“ exclaimed Charles getting frustrated.

Officer Curtis loved Iron Man, Iron Man and the NYPD had a great relationship. He had no beef with the man, and could plainly see that he cared a lot for the kid. He had no problem with letting the kid go with the billionaire, but it wasn’t his place to interfere and he had a feeling Tony Stark could hold his own anyway. So he and Carol just stood by, leaning casually against the hospital walls watching the scene unfold.

Just then, they watched a _very sharply_ dressed man approach the area. He was around 50 years old, tall, buzzcut short hair, steel rimmed glasses, custom tailored dark grey windowpane suit and a pink, thin silk tie, striding with purpose toward Mr. Stark. In one he held a sheaf of papers and in the other held a Starkpad. Then man exuded confidence and capability. 

Charles just stood there, with his mouth hanging slightly open.

The newcomer ignored everyone and walked straight up to the billionaire. He tilted his head and acknowledged Peter’s presence.

“Hey Peter, I’m sorry for your loss.”, he said in a smooth deep voice. Jim had actually met the kid once or twice. Peter had hung out after school in Mr. Stark’s office sometimes and unbelievably, Tony let him. So, he knew just how important this kid was to his client. He had been one of Tony Stark’s personal lawyers going on 13 years now, and these past few months was the first time he had seen his client get this close to someone other than Pepper Potts, Happy Hogan or Colonel Rhodes.

“Hi Mr. Jenkins. I'm sorry that you had to come down here.” Peter sniffed, quietly.

“It’s no problem Peter, none at all.” The lawyer replied smiling gently. 

He turned to his boss, “Mr. Stark?”

Tony just tilted his chin up, towards Charles’ direction. “Give ‘em to him, so he can get off my ass and Peter and I can leave.”

Jim turned around to address Charles, who was still standing shocked at what was happening around him. Jim took a look at Charles' ID badge before addressing him.

“...Mr. Hastings. I’m Jim Jenkins, a representative of Anthony Stark. I have here an injunction against the State of New York in regards the status of the minor, Peter Parker as a ward of the state after the death of May Parker. Judge Emile Parsons has signed an Emergency Guardianship ex Parte for Mr. Stark for a period of 30 days, the minimum amount of time allowed, before more permanent arrangements can be made-- which I have here. I have filed the original with the Clerk of Court, and this is your copy.” He said as he handed a dumbfounded Charles a sheaf of paper.

The lawyer continued, turning around to make careful and deliberate eye contact with Curtis, Carol and finally Charles, “I assume each of you would respect the privacy of a minor as a matter of law, but in this case I will have to ask you to sign NDA agreements to protect the privacy of my client and in turn, the child in question. I’m sure you understand.” He then proceeded to pull out a Stark tablet and had them each press their thumbprints to an edocument. Which they each did automatically. The lawyer had been so persuasive, so confident, and so capable that there didn’t seem to be any other option available to them, and none was considered.

“If _any_ word of Peter Parker’s placement leaks to the public, I _will_ find out which of you released the information and legal action will be taken against you. I will ruin you. Do you understand?” he asked, making sure to make eye contact with each of them.

The nurse, police officer and CPS rep all nodded their heads solemnly.

Jim put the tablet away, turned to his client and said, “If there’s nothing more Mr. Stark?”

“Nope, thanks Jim” said Tony with a small smile.

The lawyer turned and walked away. Sometimes Iron Man was the superhero needed…but sometimes Jim Jenkins was.

**********************************************

Charles and Officer Curtis left. But the nurse remained behind. “Um…Mr. Stark? I’m so, so sorry. But I need an adult to make the final identification of Mrs. Parker.”

Tony closed his eyes. Yeah. Of course. Sigh. He pulled Peter into a hug and whispered into his ear, “Stay here kid. I gotta do this, ok?” Peter didn’t respond. He just stood there looking at his feet. Tony sighed and turned to the nurse, “OK, yeah, lead the way.”

“Oh” Carol piped, “She’s just in here,” and she took a few steps and opened the door into the holding room where May’s body lay.

Tony reluctantly let go of Peter’s hand and walked into the room. Less than 5 seconds later, a slightly pale Tony stepped back out. “Yeah, that’s her.” He gave a card to the nurse and said, "Have the hospital call me tomorrow to make arrangements"

Carol took the card and nodded, “I’m sorry again Mr. Stark, but thank you. You and Peter are free to go now.” She said as she gently closed the door again.

Carol left to go back to her station then it was just him and Peter in the corridor, Tony turned to his kid.

“Hey Pete. You ok? What can I do?” he asked with a hand held gently against the back of Peter’s neck.

Peter didn’t seem to be listening, he was zoned out.

Tony sighed. OK. He could do this.

“OK kid. OK. Let’s go get some of your stuff and then we’ll go back to the Tower yeah?”

Peter just nodded but didn’t make any move to leave. Tony reached out and brushed some of the boy’s wavy brown hair back and away from his face. “I’m so, so sorry Peter. But I’m here now. And I will help you through this”, he ran his callused hand over Peter’s cheek and hair a few more times before running his hand down to Peter’s arm and grabbing his hand to guide him back outside.

He called a cab and took Peter back up into his apartment. Once in the apartment Tony said to Peter, “Can you pack a bag? Or do you want me to?”

Peter didn’t respond for minute but then said his first words to him since the hospital, “no, no I can do it.”

Peter looked around him. He was back in the apartment. Mr. Stark was going to take him back to the Tower. Mr. Stark asked him to pack a bag. He walked into his room and grabbed the same duffel he had just unpacked this morning. A million years ago.

He mindless grabbed some clothes, his school things, his toothbrush, Turtley. Then he walked back out into the living room where Mr. Stark stood patiently.

Peter walked into the kitchen area. He saw his plastic Hulk cup. His medicine taking cup. His brain registered that the last time he took medicine was this morning at the Tower. A million years ago. He had forgotten to take his mid-day dose because he had been waiting for Aunt May. Who was gone now. 

What was he supposed to do? He didn’t know his dosages or where the Rx were kept. May kept all those, safely out of his reach. He wasn’t supposed to tamper with any of that stuff. He thought for one minute about telling Mr. Stark about his meds. How he missed a dose. He thought for a minute about asking Mr. Stark about what he should do. Should they look for the Rxs? Should he just skip his mid-day dose? Should he call for new ones?

All of a sudden it was just too much. He couldn’t _possibl_ y fathom asking Mr. Stark all that. Or bringing that all up _now. He was just so tired._ It wasn’t fair. His aunt was dead. His uncle was dead. His parents were dead. He had been repeatedly raped as a child, he was a fucking schizo. ‘ **IT WASN’T FAAAAIIIIIRRR!!!!** ’ he screamed in his head. He didn’t care anymore about anything. So what if he didn’t take his meds. What did it matter now??

All of a sudden it was just too much, so he just shut it all out and didn’t say anything. He saw his plastic Hulk cup and the pillbox beside it and just left it. “I’m ready Mr. Stark, we can go.”

Tony had been watching his kid. The kid looked…stricken with grief for a moment. For a moment, he saw Peter ball his hands into fists and being to tremor, the kid had eyes squeezed shut. It passed in a moment, before Tony had a chance to get too worried. He wanted to reach out and take hurt and sadness from him. It just wasn’t fair. So much had already been taken from the kid, and now the kid had lost one more person from his life. This kid deserved the world and all he had gotten so far was a pile of shit.

He put his arm around the kid and they both took one last look at the cozy apartment. It felt cold and empty now, knowing that the bright light that was May, who warmed it up, was never coming back.

“OK, Pete. You got everything you need for a while? I’ll have someone pack up May's things and bring the rest of your clothes to the Tower. The rest we’ll donate if we can.”

Peter didn't reply, just nodded his head, his eyes closed.

As Tony guided Peter out the door one last time, Peter looked back and saw a Watcher in the corner of May’s bedroom. He wondered if that was the same one that took her soul to heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you know, but the Watchers are absolutely not real. They are Peter's own hallucination. One of a few different ones he experiences. 
> 
> Anyway, the next chapter will be up next week. It'll start to document Peter's (further) mental decline, and possibly the reveal of his mental illness to Tony.


	16. A small quiet interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the title says. I got off from work a little early and had a chance to hash this out. More meaty stuff coming up in the next chapters.

By the time Tony and Peter got to the Tower, it was full dark outside. Peter hadn’t said anything else since leaving his and May’s old apartment.

Once they got to the Tower, Tony gently led Peter into the elevator. He asked him, “Hey buddy, I don’t guess you’ve had anything to eat since this morning?”

Peter didn’t respond. With a sigh, Tony continued, “I think you need to eat something before going to bed, ok bud?” Unfortunately, his floor’s kitchen wasn’t as well stocked as the common room floor. So Tony did an internal assessment of Peter and what he should do. He decided that a risk of running into someone on the common room floor was worth getting something to eat the kid would like.

“Friday, take us to the main floor.” He said.

Once the elevator door opened, Tony sighed with relief, the room was mostly unoccupied. Only Clint and Natasha sat on the couches, quietly watching a movie. When the elevator door opened, they both turned around and at once a look of surprise crossed both their faces. Tony was supposed to be in London and the Short Stack was supposed to be with his Aunt, Clint picked up the remote and muted the TV set. “What’s going on? Everything ok?”.

Tony made immediate eye contact with them both and made it clear that they were OK. Please don’t ask any questions. He whispered, “Yeah… yeah, we’ll be OK. I’m just grabbing some food for Pete before I take him back up to his room. I’ll be back down in a while to explain.”

Clint and Natasha, super spies, looked at Peter and knew something had gone terribly, terribly wrong. He looked like a ghost, no life left in an empty shell. But they trusted Tony and could see clearly that Peter was in caring hands.

They nodded a silent agreement and turned back around to give Tony some privacy.

Tony reluctantly pulled his arm from around Peter’s shoulders and left him standing by the end of the counter while he rummaged around in the fridge for some leftover won ton soup, figuring it would be the easiest thing for the kid to eat. Once he had a bowl warmed up, he and Peter sat down at the kitchen bar. Tony had to basically feed the poor boy. Peter was able to grasp the bowl and spoon and made the motions to eat, but only when Tony prompted him to take a bite. After three won tons and a few spoons of broth were in him, Tony gave up in trying to prod him to eat any more and put the rest down the sink. He gathered Peter and his duffel up and took him up to his penthouse.

Peter was like a lifeless form. His eyes were unfocused, his limbs pliant. Barely standing up on his own. He was exhausted. Tony had to guide him to his room and fix up his toothbrush. By sheer memory of habit Peter was able to brush his teeth. Tony sat him down on the bed and helped him get his clothes off and dressed him in comfy PJs.

Laying his kid down, and tucking his legs under the covers, Tony was unsure if Peter would even remember any of this. Kid seemed like he was in shock. He pulled the comforter over him and sat down next to him.

He noticed that Peter’s eyes were closed. He was breathing deeply. Already asleep.

Tony whispered into the night, “Oh Pete. I’m so sorry bud. I’m so so sorry.” Silent tears were running down Tony’s face. “We are gonna make it through this, OK? I promise you. You and me.”

Tony closed his eyes and rested his callused hand on Peter’s hairline. He sat with him for another minute to be sure he was asleep, then as quietly as he could, left him to rest.

****************************************************

When he went back down to the common room, he nodded his head in acknowledgement of Clint and Tash.

“Hey guys, gimme a minute, yeah?”, he said as he sat down heavily on one of the side chairs adjacent to the couch they were on. He sat with his hands on his knees and rubbed at his face repeatedly.

His friends waited patiently for the explanation of why he was not across the ocean where he was supposed to be and why Peter looked…well…like a dead man walking. They knew nothing good could be the explanation, so waited for Tony to be ready.

Instead of addressing the Spy Twins, Tony called out to Friday, “Friday, which Avengers are in the Tower right now?”

She voiced, “Mr. Barton and Ms. Romanov are in the common room. Mr. Barnes, Mr. Wilson and Mr. Rogers are in the training room.”

“Yeah, OK, can you ask the guys in the training room to come here? Thanks Fri.” He said.

The three of them sat silently until the others entered the room.

Upon seeing Tony in the room, they all looked surprised. Sam said, “Hey Man! Aren’t you supposed to be in London? What’s up? Friday called us here, why?”

Steve said, “Is it a mission? Where?”

Clint and Natasha, who both had a clue about what was happening, both raised up their hands in a calming fashion, Tony looked _exhausted_ and like he was getting stressed out by the questions and assumptions.

It was Nat who spoke, “Guys, just sit down. I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but I…I have an idea…and I think Tony just needs a minute.” She glanced curiously at him.

Tony sighed deeply. “Thanks Nat. Yeah. Everything’s…ok. I guess.” He blurted morbidly.

Steve thought Tony looked like he had aged about 10 years since he saw him just this morning. “Tony, is it Pepper? What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

Tony looked up startled and with wide eyes, immediately he said, “No, no! Pepper’s fine. She’s fine. She and Happy are still in London, in fact.”

By this time, Sam had joined Clint and Nat on the couch. Bucky took another side chair and Steve chose to remain standing.

Another few beats of silence passed. Tony took a big breath and exhaled. “It’s May. May Parker. She died earlier today, in an accident. She never made it home."

Someone gasped.

“Shit.”

“God damn it.”

“Oh, man. Peter.”

Tony let out a huff of a laugh. “Yeah, that about sums it up. She was the kid’s last living relative too, and legal guardian."

He soldiered on, "Anyway, Pete called Hap really confused and in a panic. Obviously. And I came back as soon as I could. That was around 8:00 tonight. I guess. Found him at NYH. Some dipshit from CPS was trying to take him from the hospital—“

“WHAT THE FUCK- “ exclaimed Clint,

Tony spoke over him “--- _OBVIOUSLY,_ I did not let that happen. I got my legal team on it and Peter’s going to be staying with me. Well, us, I guess. But…uh…I’m his legal guardian for now,” he whispered.

"Anyway" he continued, "We just got home. Kid's asleep already. Upstairs."

Everyone let that sink in.

Steve walked over and said, “Good man, Tony.” And put his hand on Tony’s shoulder. Tony looked up questioningly at Steve,

He said doubtfully, “You really think so Rogers? You don’t think I’m going to fuck this up? Because right now, I gotta say, I’m feeling like anyone but me is the man for the job—“

“—Tony. Stop. Tony, you’re absolutely the best man for the job. There’s no one else, no one- who it could be. He already loves you. …. And you love him. There’s no doubt in my mind you’ve done the right thing.” Steve assured in his most ardent voice. The others nodded their heads in agreement.

“Cap’s right.”

“Damn straight, Cap.” Various voices said.

Tony would never say it, but he really needed those word from Captain America just then. 

Tony nodded his head a few times as if convincing himself. “OK, yeah, ok… anyway, I gotta go back upstairs. I just put Pete to bed. Hopefully he’ll sleep ‘til morning. We’ll see you guys then.”

He stood up. But for a moment looked lost. Looking around at Sam, Clint, Natasha, Steve and Barnes, he said solemnly, “Thanks guys.”

Then he went up the elevator, back to Peter.


	17. The month after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a bear to churn out. I hope it makes sense! I feel like I'm losing control of the story line a little, but I think it's heading where I want, I tried to rein it back it in! Hopefully, the next few chapters will be cathartic... :) Let me know what you think in the comments!

Peter woke up the next morning, the morning after May died, in a dissociative state. It was before dawn, so no one was awake yet. Tony was still sleeping soundly in the next room.

(blink)

(blink)

Peter felt…floaty. His breaths felt like they were making him go up… up… up to the ceiling. He couldn’t feel his body. His mind felt untethered. Everything was lightness and nothing.

Sylvia had warned him about moments like this. He was supposed to look for a tether, a string and pull himself back. But he didn’t want to. Why? Right. May.

When he thought about yesterday he could feel his panic rise and his heart rate go up, he pushed it down and away. He felt his breaths take him higher and higher and away from all that. He didn’t want to feel _that_.

(blink)

(blink)

***************************************************

Tony had woken up to a quiet apartment, the sun was up, just. He pulled himself out of bed. Sitting on the side of his bed, he rubbed his hands up and down his face and breathed in deeply. He felt dirty. He had gone to bed after the long Atlantic flight in the suit, being in that hospital, May’s apartment, then just went to bed after changing into sleep pants and a T-shirt and brushing his teeth.

He went about his room and gathered up some jeans and comfy T-shirt and got his shower. When he got out, he asked, “Friday, is the kid awake?” It was still just 6am so he didn’t think the kid would be awake yet.

The AI responded, “It would appear Mr. Parker is awake, however, he has not moved in two hours.”

Tony paused at that. “What do you mean Fri? How long has he been awake?”

Friday answered, “I believe that Mr. Parker awoke at 4:40am. He has not moved since, for 2 hours and 3 minutes.”

Quizzically, Tony asked, “Like..at all? He hasn’t moved? What?! Is he breathing—“

Friday cut him off, “I do not believe he is in any danger, his breathing pattern appears normal.”

“It’s not normal to not move for 2 hours, Friday.”

Now that he was dressed, he padded quietly down to Peter’s room. He knocked before pushing the door open.

What he saw made him pause. Peter was definitely awake. But he looked…completely zoned out.

He walked over to the kid and sat down on the bed. Peter’s eyes didn’t track him or acknowledge him in any way. Weird. Peter was still in his PJs that Tony had helped him get into the night before and was laying in bed, half covered in sheets and blankets. His head was turned toward the door, muscles relaxed. When Tony had sat down, Peter’s head flopped listlessly to the side. Well, that was worrying.

“Pete?” he asked.

No response.

“Kid? You’re kind of scaring me here bud. Can you talk to me?” Tony was getting panicky.

“Friday, what do I do? Is this normal, is he in shock?” Tony asked.

Friday responded, “Mr. Parker’s symptoms seem to indicate a fugue or dissociative state. I would recommend calling Mr. Wilson in to assist.”

Right. Sam. He was a counselor. “Good call, Friday. Get him up here will you?”

***********************************************

“Mr. Wilson, Boss requires your presence in his private apartments. Please proceed there now.”

Friday had brought up all the light in Sam’s room to awaken him, while voicing the previous statement.

She repeated, “Mr. Wilson, Boss requires your presence in his private apartments. Please proceed there now.”

All the Avengers had gotten used to being woken up in various states of emergency, but this was a new one.

Sam was instantly awake, “Yeah, got it Friday. I’m coming.”

He got dressed quickly wondering what was going on. It didn’t take a genius to assume that Peter needed some help. All the Avengers had come to Sam at one time or another for help with stress management or PTSD related advice. They were a healthy bunch and no one wanted to be sidelined for mental health reasons.

As he stood in the elevator he wondered how he went about going up to Tony’s suite. The Avenger’s elevator was strictly controlled and Sam knew no one was generally permitted beyond the lab floors.

“Uh, Friday, can you take me up to Tony’s suite? I’m not sure how this- “

“Temporary access granted, Mr. Wilson. Boss is expecting you.”

Less than a minute later, the doors opened into Tony’s apartment. Sam had never been up here before. It was a lot more “normal” than he thought it would be. But before he had a chance to really gawk, he heard Tony yell out, “ _Down the hall Wilson, we’re in here_!”

Sam followed the voice and peeked into the room. It was clearly Peter’s room. He saw Tony sitting on the edge of a bed gently carding his hand through the kid’s hair. So damn sweet.

Then he noticed the kid.

Ah.

He quickly assessed the situation. OK.

“Hey Tones. Peter check out on you?”

Tony gave him a dumbfounded look, “If by ‘checked-out’ you mean _completely nonresponsive human shell, then YEAH WILSON, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?_! He loudly whispered.

Sam raise his hands in a placating gesture. He forgot Tony wasn’t used to dealing with stuff like this.

“He looks like he’s dissociating—“

“What the fuck is that Wilson?!—“

“Let me finish Tony. He’s not in any danger. In fact, is a protective state the mind can go into. Not totally a healthy mechanism, but a mechanism nonetheless.”

Tony let that sink in. He stammered, “So…so this is like a response to May dying? His brain took a vacation? How do we get him to come back?! This can’t be healthy.”

Sam nodded in understanding. “There are some techniques. Let me try..” he motioned for Tony to stand up and move from Peter’s side. Very reluctantly, Tony let go of Peter’s hand and stood off to the side.

Sam sat down in Tony’s place. “Hey Peter. I know you can hear me. I know you don’t want to come back, but you need to OK? Tony’s here and I’m here and we won’t let anything bad happen to you ok?”

As he said these words, he rubbed his hands up and down Peter’s arms. Then he rubbed his knuckles on Peter’s sternum. That got a reaction, Peter flinched. So did Tony. “Watch it Wilson, don’t hurt him!”

“Tony, calm down. We need to get Peter’s mind back in sync with his body. This is the best way I know how to do it, ok? Chill. Look…it’s working.”

Peter breathing had become hitched and rapid.

All of a sudden, his eyes shut tight and he collapsed into a ball, pulling his arms and legs into himself.

Tony all but shoved Sam off the bed to get to his kid. He sat for a second his hands hovering over Peter’s shaking form, not knowing where to put them. He finally settled on just rubbing his hands up and down Peter’s back.

Sam walked around to the other side of the bed and put his hand on Peter’s shoulder.

Sam spoke, “Peter? It’s Sam. You’re in the Tower. In your room. Tony’s here. It’s the morning. You back with us Peter?”

Peter’s breathing came in huffs and puffs, “I--- I can’t…I can’t breathe—“

“Sure you can," Sam said calmly, oh so calmly “I can hear you. You’re breathing just fine, just slow it down for us ok?”

He continued, “I know with your super hearing, you can hear Tony breathing. Focus on that ok? Focus on Tony. Copy his breathing…just copy Tony,” Sam whispered.

Tony looked up with big eyes at Sam, so so thankful for his presence. He didn’t know how to handle this sort of thing. He knew Peter was focusing on his breathing, so he did his best to keep his calm and even. Sam was a fucking genius.

The room was quiet for a minute, save for Peter’s ragged breathing, which slowly…slowly returned to normal.

Tony felt Peter’s muscles relax and he gently coaxed Peter's body to unfold.

He put his fingers under Peter’s chin, lifted his face and smiled, “There’s my kid. Better?”

Peter laid his head back down heavily on the pillows and blinked owlishly up at Mr. Stark. He asked quietly, “Mr. Stark…is this here? Is it now? Is… is she gone?”

Out of the corner of his eyes, Tony saw Sam hang his head in sadness, but he just looked at his kid and said, “Yeah. She’s gone. This is real.”

Peter whispered, “Oh. I thought so.”

Sam nudged Peter, “Peter, has this happened to you before? Have you dissociated before?”

Peter was so tired. He didn’t feel like answering these questions right now, but he knew he owed them both an honest answer.

“Yeah. Not that often. But yeah.” he answered with his eyes closed.

Sam quietly nodded then persisted, “Do you have PTSD Peter?”

Peter looked sidelong at his mentor then looked down at his hands, “Can we…can we talk about this later Mr. Wilson?”

Sam understood. He took the non-answer for an affirmative anyway. All the avengers had _some_ form of PTSD anyway. No surprise the kid did too.

He patted Peter over the blankets on his legs and said “Sure kid. You talk to me or someone else, ok? Tony, be sure he talks to someone. Dissociative episodes can be pretty normal if you know the right techniques to handle them---“

“I know Mr. Wilson. I just…I just…”

Sam cut him off, “It’s ok Pete, I get it. But next time, try to catch yourself.”

“OK, Mr. Wilson. Thanks. I’ll see you later.”

Tony had been sitting quietly by, listening to the exchange. He for one did not think going AWOL from your body was ‘normal’ and was kind of freaking out. But he tried to hide it.

Peter of course, could tell that Tony was close to a panic attack. “I’m sorry for worrying you Mr. Stark. Really, I’m sorry. But I’m ok. Well….not really. I still… I can’t believe that she’s not coming back.”

Tony nodded his head and grabbed Peter’s hand, “I didn’t really give you a chance to say otherwise last night kid…but are you OK with me being your guardian for now?”

Peter looked up quickly and blurted, “Yeah Mr. Stark, of course! I don’t…I don’t, well….we, me and May didn’t really have anyone else. If you’re sure you want me…Mr. Stark…I’m a lot of trouble and I know you’re super busy---

“Kid. Stop it. There is no way I would let _anyone_ else look after you. Not ever. It is my honor to be your guardian…parent… whatever. It’s absolutely my honor. You got that?”

Peter smiled a small smile and nodded his head as he tightened his grip on Tony’s hand.

“It’s you and me kid. Well, and Pepper. And the Avengers…and Friday…” continued Tony squinting up at the ceiling and pulling a comical face.

Peter laughed and said, “Yeah. Mr. Stark, I’m ok with that.”

He leaned up and gave Mr. Stark a big hug, which the older man reciprocated.

“You know kid, you’re gonna have to tell me about what the hell happened this morning and why you and Wilson seemed to understand that this has happened to you before and that you generally know how to handle stuff like that…”

Peter sighed as he pulled himself out of bed. Tony stood up, following him. “I know Mr. Stark. I just, I have some stuff from a long time ago, that I deal with, but I usually handle it OK, and that’s the first time in a while that I’ve dissociated, and I, I mean, _know why_ it happened this time...so….yeah. We can talk about it sometime. Just not… not today?”

Tony looked at his kid and acquiesced. It was gonna be a hard enough day without dredging up emotional stuff, so Tony let it go, for now.

He patted Peter on the shoulder and said, “OK kid. Get dressed yeah? I know the others want to see you. I’ll meet you downstairs in a bit. We’ll have breakfast down there instead of staying up here all by ourselves. Probably healthier that way anyway.”

With a fond look at Peter, Tony left him to go in search of Sam, to see what light he could shed on what happened this morning.

************************************************

Tony found Sam pouring two cups of coffee at the counter in the common lounge.

“Hey Tony, figured you’d be looking for me. I poured you a cup.”

Tony smiled at the man, “I knew you were my favorite for a reason!”

Sam just laughed. “You want to know how I knew Peter had episodes like that before?”

“Got it in one,” Tony said while sipping his coffee and sitting down at the counter.

“Sometimes you can just tell. What Peter had is called a dissociative episode. The mind ‘disconnects’ from the body, so feelings of …stress, panic, fear…don’t overwhelm them. Like I said, it’s a defense mechanism of sorts. Peter was obviously having a panic attack when he woke up this morning or something so he dissociated.”

Sam continued, “It happens a lot in people with PTSD in some form or another---“

Tony cut him off, “We all have some sort of PTSD shit going on Wilson, how come I’ve never seen anyone of us check out like that?”

“—Tony, everyone has different coping mechanisms. You know this. You’ve had panic attacks. Some people have flashbacks- like Barnes and Cap. That’s how it manifests in most of us, but I’ve seen lots of people dissociate as well. We just need to talk to Peter and find out how often this has happened and if there’s a known trigger. That's important. Let’s not jump to any conclusions. We just need to sit him down and talk to him.”

“Yeah, OK,” Tony sounded. There was no arguing with that logic.

***********************************************************

The rest of the day passed in a haze for Peter. He came down for breakfast and accepted all the quiet hugs and words of comfort from his friends….the Avengers (!)

In the background, he heard Tony field and make calls arranging for May’s memorial service.

“Would he like a funeral or cremation?” Pete? Cremation please.

“Would you like a memorial service at the hospital chapel?” Sure.

“When?” As soon as possible, please.

“Who?” Oh. MJ was around…somewhere. I only want to invite one friend, I guess. I’ll text her.

“What about Ted, bud?” He’s in Hawai’i.

So the memorial service was scheduled for as soon as possible. May would be cremated on Monday and the service would be held Tuesday evening.

At some point in the afternoon, Peter and Natasha had decided that they would marathon the Lord of the Rings movies to take Peter’s mind off the decisions he had just made.

Peter was laying on the couch, he still had not left the common room since the morning. Natasha sat near his feet, a gigantic, soft, throw was covering both of their legs. Natasha seemed to be watching the films, her legs and feet tucked under her bottom and her hand gently resting on Peter’s foot. Peter pulled out his phone and went to his, Ned’s and MJ’s group text.

**PP: Hey guys. Something happened. Something bad. Sorry for texting but I’m tired.**

**PP: May died.**

**MJ: …**

**Ned: …**

**PP: I’m OK I guess. Mr. Stark is taking care of me now, I guess.**

**MJ: Peter, I’m so sorry! What happened?**

**PP: Car accident.**

**MJ: I’m really sorry Peter.**

**Ned: I don’t know what to say. Calling now.**

**PP: Don’t, can’t talk. Too tired. Thanks guys.**

**PP: services- this Tues. at May’s hospital. Evening service at 7pm in the chapel. If you can’t come it’s ok. Obv Ned can’t and that’s fine**

**MJ: …**

**Ned: …**

Peter tucked his phone away. He felt the buzz of it ringing, but ignored it. He knew Ned and MJ just wanted to comfort him, but he didn’t have the energy to talk to anyone right now.

The Watchers had been in and out of his peripheral vision all day. He was so tired. He saw one cross the room and float through Ms. Romanov. She didn’t seem to notice. It had come out of the corner and came to a stop in front of him. Blocking his view of the movie. Peter didn’t know what it wanted. So he quietly asked it, “Did you take her to heaven, was it you?” because he thought, it probably can’t read his mind.

Natasha said, “What was that Peter? Did you say something to me?”

It was evening now, and the lights weren’t on, so only the flashing lights of the TV illuminated her face as she looked sideways at Peter.

“No, Ms. Romanov. Sorry, I was just thinking out loud.” Peter knew better than to talk about the Watchers with anyone. No one else had ever been able to see them.

He looked directly in front of him. The Watcher was still there, blocking his view. Then it slowly nodded its head, and floated away, back into the corner.

Peter felt better now. May’s soul was in heaven. Hopefully with Ben and his parents.

Natasha looked closely at Peter. The boy was focused on something in front of him that was not the TV, the focal point was too close. But nothing was there. She saw the boy relax, though, and thought nothing more of it.

The rest of the night passed quietly.

Tony and the rest of the Avengers stayed close to the Tower and Peter all day and the following days.

Keeping a close eye on him. Comforting him in his grief. Distracting him when they could.

They evening of the memorial service was a somber one. Tony had procured a dark suit for Peter and helped him get dressed. Tony adjusted the cufflinks and tied his tie for him. He’d teach him how to do it properly one day.

The service was small and quiet. All the Avengers were there, disguised as best they could be. May’s hospital friends knew Peter had an internship with Tony Stark, but still, they did their best to remain in the background. Tony stuck close by Peter. They sat on the front bench with Pepper and Happy. If people wondered why Tony Stark and his fiancé were so close to Peter, well, they just let them wonder.

After the remembrances, when everyone had stood up and made ready to leave, a girl with long curly hair and dressed in a simple black shift, approached Peter. She didn’t say anything, she just threw herself at him for a fierce hug. She hugged him so tight, then turned her head and whispered something into Peter’s ear.

Tony watched as Peter hugged back, closed his eyes and laughed a small laugh at whatever she said.

“Thanks MJ” Tony heard him say.

After the memorial service, Tony took Peter back to the Tower.

“Tomorrow, we need to go back to your old apartment, ok? The rent is paid up until next month, but I want to get the rest of your things. You up for that?” the older man asked.

Peter figured that it would have to be done. He didn’t own much and didn’t need much. But he should go get his few small important possessions. He’d hate to regret giving anything away without even looking.

******************************************************

The next day, Peter took a short survey of his room at his and May’s apartment and decided there was actually very little he needed to keep. He grabbed his LEGO bin, his original Spider-Man web shooters and suit, some schoolwork and some photos.

In May’s room….he had a small panic attack. Tony came to him and held his hand and hugged him, bringing his face to rest in the crook of his neck, with his hand resting on the back of Peter’s neck. “You don’t have to do this bud.”

Sniffing, Peter said, “No, no I can do this. I want to remember. And I want to get some stuff.”

He hugged Tony a bit tighter.

“Oof, you’re strong kid” Tony laughed.

“Oh! Sorry Mr. Stark!” Peter cried and laughed simultaneously.

Tony ruffled his hair, “It’s OK kid. Take your time in here, yeah?”

Peter took a deep breath and looked around. He went to May’s small vanity and took the photos she had tucked in to the frame. There was one of Peter and May, one of Peter as a baby, and one of May and Ben on their wedding day. She looked beautiful. He grabbed a small box that had Ben’s wedding ring in it. Her wedding and engagement rings were already with him, back at the Tower. Tony had quietly lay them on his desk one night when he was asleep, along with her necklace of St. Jude.

Next, he went to her closet, opened the door and just stood there, absorbing the smells, before deciding on a scarf to keep.

Lastly, he went to her bed and gathered up the hand crocheted blanket at the foot of the bed. It had gaps and miscounted holes all through it, but she had made it and it was precious.

Peter went back out into the living room and kitchen area where Tony was waiting. He put all the things he had gathered into the box by the door.

Once again he looked at the plastic Hulk cup. His medicine taking cup. And the pill box next to it. It had been 5 whole days since he had taken any of his meds. 

As far as Peter could tell, the Palperidone shot was working just fine. He had gotten a shot the week before May died. The biggest side effects were that he was _exhausted_ for two days post, and it gave him the shakes. Sometimes so badly that he couldn’t work with tools, write or feed himself.

Peter wasn’t an idiot.

He knew he was supposed to be taking his meds. But he deluded himself into thinking that _for now_ the Palperidone was enough. The daily meds he had to take consisted of the anit-tremor meds, another anti-psychotic, and a sedative. He just couldn’t fathom having to tell Mr. Stark about his mental illness. It just wasn’t going to happen. No way. No sir. No how. Not now anyway. Maybe later.

Well, he had had a few tremors the last week. But not that bad and not that many. If he really concentrated he could control them.

And he couldn’t tell if the anti-psychotic was working or not. Nothing seemed to have really changed. He’d been seeing more of the Watchers around, but that was happening before May died anyway. So…no harm no foul, right?

And the sedative? Jesus, he was exhausted every night anyway. He didn’t need help sleeping, so far.

So in a flash of determination, he grabbed the pill box that he knew had 8 anti-tremor pills and three sedatives in it (May had told him she had packed two extra days’ worth of pills in it) along with some extra anti-psych meds- he’d trash those later- and shoved it in his pocket to save for when he _needed_ to take them. For now he was controlling the tremors and was sleeping fine….so he’d wait until he couldn’t and wasn’t…so yeah.

He reached out and grabbed the pill box and cup. He shoved the pill box in his pocket and put the cup in the box by the door.

Tony was on the phone calling for Happy to come back and get them and didn’t notice Peter putting the pill box in his pocket.

“Ready to go kid? Hap’s downstairs.” Tony said.

Peter took one last look around his old home and sighed deeply, “Yeah, I guess so.” He bent down and grabbed the box.

Tony made the motion to grab it from him. Peter just laughed and said, “Let me, you’re an old feeble man.”

Tony just rolled his eyes, “Uh huh. Go on young buck, out with you then.” And they made their way back to the Tower, home.

*********************************************************************

Dr. S and Sylvia had no idea May had passed away. No one told them. They didn't work at May's hospital and weren't friends outside of the treatment of Peter. Peter had just switched to twice monthly visits with Sylvia, so wasn't due to see her for another week, almost. And Peter wasn't due for an assessment with Dr. S. until the first of the next month. 

Another week of Peter hiding his symptoms went by. He could control the tremors if he squeezed his hands into fists and took a lot of breaks from working in the lab. He began to wake up multiple times during the night. Terrible nightmares would awaken him. Not every night. But some. And when he did wake up there was nothing that would get him back to sleep. He’d be too keyed up from anxiety and fear. He'd sit up in his room, too afraid Friday would tell on him, if he wandered around. Eventually, Tony started to notice that Peter looked like the undead, so Peter would take one of the sedatives he had hidden away and get a continuous night's rest. 

When Peter didn't get enough sleep he could hear the voices getting louder. He hadn't heard any voices in a while. Not since last year. But Peter thought he just needed to get more sleep. But, maybe the voices he always had heard belonged to the Watchers. That would make sense. They'd never spoken before. But they had also never moved around as much as they had been lately. And since he _knew_ that the Watchers were real, and just not _invisible_ anymore, then the voices probably just belonged to them. More Watchers's came out now. They came out with the voices. He could identify individual Watchers now. The one that took May to heaven, he called Grey Watcher. Because it had had that grey smoke. There was a Skinny Watcher and Snoopy Watcher, and Sneaky Watcher. Because well, one looked skinny, one was shaped like Snoopy, and one was always hiding, lurking in the darkest places of the room. Snoopy said horrible things to him. So did Sneaky. But Peter tuned them out, and tried to get more sleep. If he slept more maybe they'd shut up.

Two weeks after May passed away, Peter was supposed to have an appointment with Sylvia. He missed the appointment, obviously.

Sylvia called May's cell number and got an automated reply saying the number was disconnected. It was the only number she had for the Parkers. She tried calling the number twice more, but got the same response. 

Then she called Dr. S's office to see if they had an updated contact number. They had the same number on file. Continuity of care was vital for Peter, so Sylvia called the hospital where May worked.

That's when she finally heard the news. Over two weeks after May Parker died, she finally knew. She had been asked several times in several different ways why she wanted information on May Parker and how she knew her. A hospital relations person _finally_ told her what happened.

She spent the next week on the phone with the hospital, even going in person to try and find out where Peter had been placed. Dr. S tried getting the same information from Child and Family services, but no one would tell them where Peter Parker had been placed. She and Dr. Simoncec tried, they really did. But with Peter being a minor, all his information was private. So unless Peter reached out to them...he was unreachable. And the fact that he had not so far, when they both knew he could have, was worrisome in the extreme. 


	18. Finalization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some sunshine before the rain.

Peter had taken one of his sedatives the night before, he was too keyed up from working on the Mark 42 with Mr. Stark all night that he knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep on his own. And considering how important the next (same?) day was… well, he knew he had to get a good night’s sleep. He didn’t want to be distracted from the events of The Big Day by the Watcher’s and their dum-dum voices. So he didn’t wake up on The Big Day until almost 10am.

He only had two of those pills left. He had run out of the anti-tremor pills yesterday. He was glad he had taken one since he didn’t think he’d have been able to work all night in the lab helping Mr. Stark without them.

Most days, as long as he didn’t have to use his hands too much he could control the tremors. Thank goodness it was summer break, if he had to write essays or type all day, there was no way he could control the tremors.

As it was the others had only noticed a few times. Dr. Banner had noticed one morning when they were particularly bad and Peter hadn’t been able to hold his cereal spoon steady. He sloshed out two spoonfuls before giving it up. Dr. Banner had noticed and had showed some concern, but Peter brushed him off saying that he had just done too much web-slinging in the practice room that morning. 

Another time, Mr. Barnes had caught him shaking so badly that he wasn’t able to spar correctly (he had caught Peter’s fist in his vibranium arm and felt the tremors running through Peter’s hands). Peter just said that he was tired from training. They _had_ been sparring for two hours, so it seemed plausible…even if Peter had never fatigued before. Usually he had enough energy to even tire out Mr. Steve “I can do this all day” Rogers.

But nothing like that was going to ruin today.

***************************************************

Tony awoke slowly, and as it dawned on him what day it was, a small smile spread across his face. He rolled over and slung his arm around Pepper’s waist. She was already awake and working on her laptop next to him, sitting up in bed.

She looked down at him and smiled, “Finally up sleepyhead?”

Tony smiled back, “Yeah. Oof, What time is it? Pete and I stayed up late working in the lab. We’ve almost got the Mark 42 up to spec.”

Pepper, running her hand through Tony’s hair, said “Um hm…It’s almost 9. I went to bed at 11, and woke up to go to the bathroom at 2, and you _still_ weren’t in bed.”

The drowsy man chuckled, “Yeah, I think I came up just after that, before 3:00 definitely.”

Pepper clicked her tongue, “Tony…you need to be teaching him _good_ habits! Especially considering what today is!” she laughed.

Tony smiled, flopped over and propped himself up on his elbows, “Big day Ms. Potts. You think we can do this?”

Pepper leaned down and kissed the top of Tony’s head, “Of course Mr. Stark…..or should I say Dad?”

******************************************************

( **One week prior** )

Tony, Pepper and Peter were sitting down in the private suite of apartments having a quiet breakfast. It had been 4 weeks since May passed. The 30 days of Tony’s guardianship were almost over.

Tony with an uncharacteristic amount of nerves asked Peter, “So…Um…Peter….”

Pepper glanced over at her fiancé. They had already had the discussion of adoption and both were very happily in favor of it. Pepper had never seen Tony care for anyone like he did Peter. Peter had only been in their lives about a year, but Tony had never been a better version of himself than when he was with Peter. Seeing Tony love and take care of someone else had made her love for him grow stronger, which she didn’t think possible. She was amused by his nervousness now. She chuckled to herself as she watched him flounder. How he didn’t see that Peter was absolutely 100% in love with him (and their new little family) too was beyond her. For someone so confident in themselves 99% of the time, Tony was sure blind in how much Peter loved and admired him. She just pushed her muesli to the side and sat staring at the two of them with a silly smile on her face and her chin resting in her palm, elbow on the table.

Peter nervously looked from Ms. Potts to Mr. Stark…Mr. Stark was…stammering?

“…so, um Peter.” Coughed Tony, “The 30 days of the temporary guardianship are over soon---“

Oh.

Peter deflated. Like literally. All the air left his lungs and he collapsed a little into himself. They were gonna get rid of him now. They had helped him grieve for May, and now they were going to get rid of him. He couldn’t blame them. He was a lot of trouble.

Tony and Pepper saw how Peter deflated and quickly intervened, Pepper hastily interjected, “No, no Peter, this is good news! I mean, I think so…?”

Tony nodded his head furiously, “Yeah, kid. It can be, I think? I mean, it’s up to you.”

Peter didn’t understand. And it was clear on his face.

Tony persevered, “Well, kid. I was thinking that… if you want. I mean, If it’s ok with you, that… uh. Well, that I adopt you.”

Peter had been twisting his hands in his T-shirt. His favorite green HULK shirt. He stopped his fingers from pulling at the fabric and unclenched his hands, slowly rubbing the fabric between his fingers. Feeling the soft cloth between his fingers, grounding him. He didn’t say anything for a full minute.

Pepper and Tony were getting anxious. The kid was just sitting, staring ahead, and kind of slowly turning his back and forth between the two of them with a puzzled look on his face.

“Me?” he asked quietly?

Tony quirked his head to the side, “Yeah, you kid.”

“You want _me?”_ Peter insisted in asking.

Pepper reached out and held his hand, “Yes, Peter, we want you. We choose you. You have been the best thing to happen to Tony in a long, long time. And I love you too, you know. I think we can make a new family, don’t you?”

“But…I’m so much trouble Ms. Potts. I talk too much. I don’t listen. I’m annoying. You have to feed me all the time! I can’t, I can’t even drive myself to school. I only have like two friends! I’m a loser. I’m just… I’m just _me,_ no one wants that…”

Peter finally looked up after saying his peace and was alarmed to see both Ms. Potts and Mr. Stark looking quite angry at him.

Tony took a long steadying breath and said sternly, “Peter- I don’t ever want to hear you talk about yourself that way again. Ever. Do you understand me?”

Peter looked down and away, “Sure. Mr. Stark. But I still don’t think you want me. You can just have me placed somewhere else. I’m OK now. Thanks for helping me after May died.”

Tony looked unbelieving at Pepper, WTF was this kid on about?! Pepper looked just as stunned. They were gonna have to help Peter with his self esteem.

Tony turned his chair and pulled it right up to Peter’s so they were sitting knee to knee.

“Kid. I love you so much. So much.” He voice started to quiver and tears started to form in his eyes. He couldn’t say anything more. He didn’t know how to make his kid understand that he was wanted, that he was loved.

Peter thought for a moment and pursed his lips to the side before whispering, “I love you guys too. A lot. I’m…I’m afraid that you’ll regret it.”

Pepper had pulled her chair up to him too and held his hand. “Never Peter, never.”

Peter was crying now too. So was Pepper. Tony was trying to wipe his eyes but couldn’t bring himself to let go of Peter’s hands, so he settled on using his shoulder to wipe away some of his tears.

“So, it’s ok kid? Can we adopt you?”

Peter sniffed. “I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”

Tony stood up and pulled Peter into the biggest hug, laughing and crying at the same time.

“Oh kid. Kid, you’ve made me so happy. Thank you. I love you bud.”

“I love you too Mr. Stark.”

Pepper laughed as she wrapped her arms around the pair, laughing she said, “Maybe you can call us something other than Ms. Potts and Mr. Stark if we’re adopting you huh, Peter?”

Peter couldn’t look his mentor in the eyes and kept his face shoved into the crook of Tony’s neck. He half whispered and mumbled, “CanIcallyoudad?”

Tony froze. Then started crying _even harder_. That sort of coughing, laughing, snotty, messy crying. He squeezed Peter so tight. So tight. He laughed and cried out, “Yeah. I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”

Pepper clasped her hands in front of her lips, silent tears flowing as she stood back and watched her boys. Peter finally turned his toward away from Tony’s neck and through happy tears he looked at her and asked quietly, “And…um..Ms. Potts, can I call you Mom?”

Sniffing and with a big smile she absolutely glowed, “Yes, Peter, I’d like that too.”

***************************************************

**[back present (the big) day]**

After Pepper left for work, it was a Friday after all, Tony and Peter tried to distract themselves until the 1:00 appointment with the judge. They had made plans that morning before Pepper left, to have a celebratory dinner that night (hopefully with the Avengers) and to visit the cemetery where Ben, May, Richard and Mary were buried and interred over the weekend. Pepper wouldn't be able to sign the official documents until after she and Tony were married, but it didn't matter to anyone. She was going to be his _mom_ form now on, and no paperwork could define that.

The morning passed SO slowly for Peter and Tony, as it does when one is anticipating a big event. A huge event. A happy and exciting event. They tried working in the lab, but neither of them could focus, and that was dangerous, so they decided to stop that.

Then they went out for a long walk. It felt like a two hour long walk, but ended up being just 20 minutes when they got back.

They baked cookies.

They tried making Pad Thai.

Finally, at 12:45 the other Avengers started trickling into the common room and tried to pry out of the two what the meeting was about.

Bruce saw that they were both keyed up, but couldn’t figure out why. He tried their Pad Thai. It was terrible. The noodles were simultaneously under done and overdone, and it was way too sour. He pushed the plate away saying, “I, um, I think you guys should leave the cooking to me.”

Peter and Tony had both eaten the noodles and had to agree. Bruce wasn’t wrong.

Next, Clint, Bucky and Nat came in. Apparently straight from the gym as they were still lightly punching each other and feigning moves reviewing things that had gone right- and wrong- during the sparring session. Nat was saying, “You can’t rely just on the strength and flexibility of the arm Barnes. While impressive, it has a huge weakness in that it can short out or lock up. You need to work on a defensive style that doesn’t rely so much on using it as a shield”

“You’re a huge weakness” the Sergeant mumbled under his breath.

Clint bit down on his fist to keep from laughing.

Bucky didn’t realize how loud he had said that and immediately laughed and was contrite, “I’m sorry Nat! Don’t hurt me! I was just kidding! I swear!!! Don’t murder me!”

Nat just looked at him with her arms crossed, “I’m going to rip that arm off you and beat you senseless with it Barnes.” She made a quick move towards him and laughed when Bucky flinched away.

She simply laughed heartily, "Two hits for flinching!" she yelled as she double tapped him on the shoulder, and went into the kitchen to grab a post work out snack.

“Ooh, Pad Thai, can I have some?”

Peter and Tony said, “Sure!”

Bruce said, “I wouldn’t.”

Peter and Tony looked dejectedly at the dish and said, “Yeah...maybe not. We made it.”

“Then I’m definitely not eating it. I thought Bruce made it.” The spy replied.

“What’s this meeting about anyway?” Bucky asked.

Bruce, Nat and Clint turned expectantly to Tony.

“Nothing bad. Just need you guys to stand in the background looking pretty." Tony replied.

Tony looked down at his watch as an alert came through.

“Ah. Showtime people. Hap’s on his way up. Where’r Sam, Steve and Rhodes?”

Friday chimed in, “Captain Rogers, Mr. Wilson and Colonel Rhodes are arriving now, boss-“ she finished as the elevator doors opened admitting the three.

Rhodey walked directly over to Peter and Tony and gave them each big hug.

“Big day huh?” he said with a huge smile on his face.

Peter just looked down shyly at his feet and quietly replied, “Hi Mr. Rhodes. Thanks for coming.”

“Are you kidding me kid? I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Rhodey then turned to Tony and shook his hand, in an oddly formal handshake, looking his best friend in the eyes, “I know what you’re thinking and no. You’re not going to fuck this up.” He said as he pulled his best friend in for a hug and put his hand on the back of the man’s head. He whispered into his ear, “You’re gonna be a great dad Tones.”

Rhodey released his friend then made a show of walking causally away back to the kitchen to get himself a drink from the fridge. A suspiciously misty eyed Tony turned away from everyone and put his hands in his pockets as they waited for everyone to settle in.

Clearly the others noticed that Rhodey knew what was going on, “C’mon Rhodes, give it up- what’s going on here.”

Rhodey just ignored them. But it didn’t matter because just then the elevator door opened and Happy entered the room with two other men.

The three of them entered the room and heading directly for Tony.

“Mr. Stark,” Jim Jenkins inclined in head in greeting.

The other man with them extended his hand, “Good to see you again Tony. Thanks for the ride by the way." he said nodding his head in Happy's direction, "Getting a cab from the courthouse can be murder sometimes.”

Tony shook the other man’s hand while covering it with his other hand, “No problem, Judge Parsons, thanks again for helping with this. I can’t thank you enough.”

Tony then proceeded to introduce his lawyer and the judge to the others, “Guys, this is a good friend of mine, Judge Emile Parsons. And some of you have seen this stiff around, this is Jim Jenkins, my lawyer, he’s stuck by me for 15 years and is the _best_ \- if you ever need a lawyer. Clint. I’m talking to you here Clint,” he joked.

Tony then turned back to his guests, “Thanks for agreeing to do this here guys. It’s a big help.”

The judge spoke with a lightness in his tone, “Mr. Stark, Tony, it is my absolutely my pleasure to do this for you. These types of events are few and far between for me at this point in my career, and I welcome the chance to help. It is my honor.”

Jim said, ever serious, “Just here then Mr. Stark?” he asked looking around at the other Avengers and setting his briefcase down on the large dining table.

Tony finally addressed the others in the room. “Yeah, if the peanut gallery-“ he pointed his fingers to the others “—could just stand over there and hang out, close enough to listen in, that’d be great.”

Tony then walked over to Peter who had suddenly been overcome by shyness and guided him to stand next to him at the side of the table, near the head.

Judge Parsons stood at the head, hands in his pockets, casually he said, “You have all the forms Jim?” 

The lawyer nodded and proceeded to retrieve them from the briefcase.

The judge turned to Peter. “Mr. Parker. It is a very important decision you are making today. And it is your decision alone, do you understand? No one is forcing you into this?”

Peter glanced up, startled, “No sir! No, not at all. I want this. I’m sure. Mr. Stark asked me and I said—“

“It’s oK son, I just have to ask. I understand.” He paused for a moment before turning to Tony and continuing, “Mr. Stark, you understand the full and legal consequences of adopting a child? And are completely willing to be a parent to Peter from here on out? In all respects?”

“Yes sir, I am,” he said with a soft fondness in his voice, as he looked down and Peter and gave him a squeeze around the shoulders.

Mr. Jenkins had pulled two forms from his briefcase, along with a sleek black pen case. He took a moment to glance at the thin black case, ran his fingers over it before handing it to Tony. Tony took the case from him and slowly opened it.

Two black pens were nestled inside. He held the box out to Peter who took one.

Then pen was surprisingly heavy in his hands. And so sleek he was afraid he was going to drop it. Peter gripped the pen tightly in his sweaty hand.

By now, all the Avengers- Bruce, Steve, Nat, Clint, Sam and Bucky had HUGE smiles on their faces. Happy was a mess. Sitting on the couch off to the side and crying.

Jim laid out two sets of papers on the table and pointed to several lines, “Peter, you just need to sign here. And here….. and one last time, print here and sign here.”

Peter did as he was told, in a daze.

“Mr. Stark, your turn. In all the same places, just next to Peter’s signatures.” The lawyers said as he reached out and took each piece of paper as it was signed. After they were all signed, he handed the sheaf of papers to the judge.

“I need two witnesses for each party. Mr. Stark previously informed me that he would like Colonel Rhodes and Mr. Rogers to stand witness for him and Peter has requested Mr. Hogan and Ms. Romanov to witness for him.” Proclaimed the judge.

None of the four knew that they were going to be called as witnesses and to be part of such a momentous and important occasion.

Happy could barely keep it together as he approached the table. His hand shook as he signed on the line with the pen the Tony passed to him. He turned and gave Peter a big hug, then he passed the pen to Natasha as he stalked away in a weeping mess.

Natasha, ever stoic, and able to always hide her emotions, walked suspiciously slowly up to the table. She didn’t look anywhere except for Peter’s face. She didn’t even look at Happy as she received the pen from him. A small tilt of her chin in Peter's direction. A small nod of his head towards hers. A small smile broke out on her face. She signed on the second line of four with a small flourish and handed the pen to Rhodey.

Rhodey didn’t say anything, just took the pen from Natasha and didn’t even look at the paper as he signed. He just looked at his best friend the whole time, eyes never leaving Tony’s face. “I don’t like surprises. You know this. But I’ll excuse it this one time. And you had better let the kid know I’m his Uncle Rhodey from now on.” He deadpanned as he handed the pen to Steve.

Steve had walked silently up to the table. Thoughtful. He held the pen in his hand a moment and just stood looking down on it, before finally seeming to come out of a trance and looked up at Tony.

“Tony, I’m…at a loss for words. Thank you for honoring me with this. Thank you.” He stated quietly, he then proceeded to sign on the last line, as he handed to pen back solemnly to the judge. Tony was still standing tall, misty eyed, next to Peter, his arm around _his kid’s_ shoulder.

Judge Parsons, took out an embossing stamp from his pocket and embossed the last page of the sheaf of papers and signed the seal with the pen before returning it back to Tony.

“Mr. Stark, it is my pleasure to finalize your adoption of the young Peter Parker. Well, Mr. Peter Parker-Stark, as I understand it now?” the judge said as he handed the papers back to the lawyer.

Peter shyly looked up at the judge then over to the other in the room, still gripping his pen. “Yes sir. Thank you sir.”

Jim put the papers away and with a rare smile, turned to his boss and shook his hand. “Congratulations Mr. Stark. And you too Peter. You’re going to make a fine family.” Then he turned away and left with Judge Parsons, after a few departing pleasantries were exchanged. “Happy, stay here and celebrate with everyone, we can get a cab back downtown.” Happy just nodded his head in thanks.

As soon as the elevator doors closed on the departing lawyer and judge, the other Avengers broke out into a huge cheer. Tony and Peter turned to each other. The older man's hands resting on Peter's shoulders. After a moment, they hugged. 

Tony knew had only made a few right choices in his life. Pepper. Iron Man. and now Peter. This was right. he was doing something right, and it felt so good.

Peter had never been happier. He had lost so much in his young life. But he had gotten so much love too. Ben and May loved him. And now Tony and Pepper. He felt lucky now. So lucky. Despite everything.

In the back of his mind he was worried about telling Mr. Stark...no...his dad about his mental illness, but he'd do it....later. He didn't want to ruin this day. This perfect day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, I know Pepper is basically nonexistent in this story, but I can't really figure out how to keep her in the scenes. I love her, but can't figure out how to write her in. sorry!


	19. Get it together Peter..and an (un)fortunate find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don’t think too hard or google the meds list. My “research” took all of 5 minutes and is not accurate in any way. It’s fan fiction so don’t expect accuracy, just some whump :)

Peter had never been so happy, scared, and so confused in all his life.

Yesterday he had been adopted. A month ago his Aunt May died. She was gone and not coming back. He had Tony Stark and Pepper Potts as his dad and mom now. Thus the HAPPY feelings.

He lay in bed, Grey was standing in the corner. Snoopy was hiding under the desk by the window. Ever since he had asked Grey if it/he/she/(?) had taken May to heaven, he hadn’t spoken to any of them anymore. But they were speaking to him. He had awoken last night from a night terror, gasping and clutching at his chest, barely able to breathe. It took him a long time to calm down because Snoopy had come over and kept telling him that _they_ were coming, _they_ were coming down the halls and were coming to poison him… to put poison in his veins. He strained and used every bit of his Spider hearing to listen for anyone ( _them)_ coming down the halls, but he didn’t hear anyone. He never went back to sleep. Thus the SCARED feelings.

He knew he wasn’t supposed to listen to Snoopy, but in the quiet hours of the night, after waking up from a night terror (he never remembered them), it was hard to shut them out.

He considered the idea that if he could get more sleep, then maybe Snoopy and Sneaky would _shut the fuck up_ that maybe some of his paranoia would calm down. But he only had two sleeping pills left. He’d have to take one tonight because he couldn’t face another terrifying night like last night.

Then he’d only have one sleeping pill left.

He had to tell ~~Mr. Stark~~ dad. He had to. Mr. Stark was his dad now. And Ms. Potts was his mom. They loved him. Right? They’d be so angry though. And probably scared. May had never really said so, but Peter knew that his mental illness scared his Aunt May. That’s why they never talked about it. May had had to face Peter going psychotic by herself and it had been terrifying. Peter didn’t really remember it, so it was hard to accept. But Peter hated seeing the fear in his Aunt’s eyes whenever they had to address his illness. Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts would probably be afraid too.

But they were his mom and dad now. And moms and dads helped their kids. Right? Thus the CONFUSED feelings.

Well, confused and afraid. Who would want to keep a kid with severe mental illness?

Snoopy shuffled over and whispered close to his ear, _‘No one would want to keep you. You’re defective. And you have to be fixed. They’ll put the medicine in your veins but it won’t help Peter. Nothing can fix you. The poison will kill you Peter. It will kill you.’_

Peter pressed his hands against his ears. He thought to himself, ‘Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts love me. They wouldn’t hurt me. shut up shut up shut up. Go away go away go away’ he chanted in his head, with his eyes tightly shut. After a few seconds he peaked out. Snoopy was gone.

***********************************************************

Tony, after a few weeks of keeping Peter company at the Tower, had been out and about more- with, you know- life and work.

Tony was the head R&D researcher for SI- and could do that work from home, the Tower. But a lot of his time was still taken up by various meetings and business lunches. He had put off as many as he could for as long as he could, but had to get back to being the face of SI.

The Avengers were all taking their turns at staying with Peter at the Tower.

Peter and Hawkeye would play MarioKart or Clint would give him shooting lessons. Bruce was giving him cooking lessons. Natasha was teaching him tradecraft. Bucky, Sam and Cap were training with him, developing his fighting style. Uncle Rhodey, who spent most of his time in DC would just come and visit, hanging out for dinner- while parsing out information regarding the latest governmental efforts to control ‘enhanced’ people.

But Peter was slowing starting to look like shit. They all noticed. Bruce even asked him if he was ill. Peter even started begging off training. He fell asleep during the day. But never looked rested.

Peter had run out of sleeping pills. The Palperidone which is supposed to last a month, had been administered 45 days ago. In fact, Peter did feel like shit.

Most evenings Peter would have dinner with his mom and dad, or if they felt like, with the others for a Big Family Dinner as they called it, with everyone else, in the common room.

It was at one of the BFDs that Tony looked over at his kid, “You look like shit kid. You feel ok?”

“Thanks _Dad,_ ” Peter whined.

Tony grinned like a goof. Dad. He called me dad. It still made Tony blush and smile _every single time._

Peter leaned his head on the table, pushing his plate of spaghetti aside. “I’m ok" he murmured. "But if it’s ok with everyone, I’ll just go lay on the couch. I’ll help clean up when everyone’s done eating.” Then he stood up to go lay on the couch.

Sam, in a concerned but kind voice said, “You know, Peter, it’s normal to feel some depression after you lose someone close to you.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Peter mumbled. He pulled his feet up onto the couch and lay his head down. Snoopy was in the corner. But it was Sneaky who came over, from behind a painting.

_They all feel sorry for you. Because you’re broken. You’re defective. When they try to fix you it will kill you. It will kill you. Don’t let them try to fix you. We can fix it. We can fix it. We will always be here. We have always been here. We will fix it. Nothing can make us go. If you try to make us go we will kill you._

Sneaky was relentless. So annoying. Peter clamped his hands around his ears and whispered ‘shut up shut up shut up’.

No one at the table heard him. They all thought he was just having a downspell after May’s death. Which, honestly, was pretty reasonable.

Peter called his dad over. “Dad?” his voice was small and scared.

Tony looked up at the sound of his son’s voice, it didn’t sound right.

He put his napkin on the table and stood up, Pepper looked concerned, but Tony waved his hand in a soothing motion to try and put her at ease. The other Avengers quieted down, but kept an ear open in concern.

Tony walked over and sat down on the couch next to his son.

“What’s up bud,” he asked running his hand through Peter’s hair. It was sweaty. Tony felt for a fever, but Peter's skin temperature felt fine. “You don’t look so hot bud, you feel sick?”

Peter glumly shook his head. He had a huge headache. Snoopy had been following him around all day saying hateful things to him and now Sneaky just WOULDN’T SHUT UP.

“Headache, I guess. I just don’t feel….like myself. I think Maybe Spider-Man might not be back for a bit.” Peter sadly admitted.

Tony had been wondering when Peter would bring up Spider-Man. No one expected him to go back to web-slinging immediately, but Tony had to admit, he was surprised and proud of Peter for knowing when he shouldn’t be out on patrol. And if he was still recovering from losing May, then that was fine.

“That’s fine bud. We’re all looking out for Queens while you’ve been recovering. No one expects you back and no one, the public, I mean has to have an explanation of why he’s been gone. But if you want to, the Avengers can make a short press release or something.”

“Yeah, yeah. OK. That might be good. Maybe they can just say Spider-Man is taking a vacation? But that he'll be back?”

“A well-deserved vacation,” Tony said patting his son on the shoulder. “I hope you’ve not been stressing out about _that_. That’s not a big deal. You can always go back to Spider-Manning, it can wait. In fact, it has to wait, until you’re well and ready.”

Peter knew what his dad meant. The irony of the situation was lost on him however.

All Peter knew was that there was too much _noise_ in his head for him to go out and be safe. He could barely walk a straight line down the hallway, let alone go out on patrol.

He just kept telling himself that he had to catch up on his sleep. 

**************************************************

The next week Peter felt better. Grey, Snoopy and Sneaky had finally shut up for once. They had gone back to just hiding behind paintings and plants. Peter got a few nights of continuous sleep. He was finally starting to feel like himself again. Then Justine came back.

Peter _hated_ Justine. She was an old friend, but one of those bitchy friends that always said mean things in the guise of being nice. He was doing his best to avoid her. But she kept coming around.

One morning, he and Clint were watching Spirited Away when Justine came by. Peter saw her come in from the kitchen. She came over and sat on the floor by Peter.

_Why are you watching this stupid movie? Clint has better things to do than sit here with you pretending he likes your company. But you do you Peter. I’m sure he might like it, but you’d be sparing him the trouble if you just go kill yourself._

Peter really hated Justine. She was, he guessed, about his age. Always wearing a maroon corduroy jumper. It was hideous. She was so mean. He said to her, “I don’t think that’s true and I think you should leave.”

Clint who had been dozing off (the scene where No-face and the girl take that long ass train ride was sooooo drowsy) and looked at Peter, startled. “You say something kid?”

Peter jerked in surprise, he looked to where Justine had been, but she was gone now. “No, no Mr. Barton, I didn’t say anything.” God. So embarrassing. Get it together Peter.

*****************************************************

Across town, the term of the Parker’s apartment was finally up. Movers had taken all the furniture and clothes to be donated. Happy was just going by to lock up and get a few things the packers said they didn’t know what to do with.

He walked up to the Parker’s fourth floor apartment and opened the door. It was empty. Save for a a small boxe and a note from the moving company on the counter.

He read the note first: Everything was taken to Habitat for Humanity on 4th, a receipt will follow in the mail to Mr. Stark's address within a week. We were unable to take (by law) the prescriptions, so we have left them in the box for you to dispose of properly.

Curious as to what medicines there were (who wouldn’t be?) he took a peak into the box. He had expected for the orange pill bottles to be made out for May Parker, so was surprised when he picked up the first little bottle and it was for Peter. And a second one. And a third one. He didn’t recognize any of the drug names on these pill bottles.

Happy placed the bottles on the counter. He examined the first one again. It was for Peter. It was almost full, and had 6 remaining refills. It had about 20 pills in it. The label said it was to be taken every morning. 

He picked up the second bottle. It was also for Peter. They were all for Peter. Happy didn’t recognize any of the names of medications. This bottle said it was to be taken once a day at night, one hour before bedtime. It also had about 20 pills in it.

The last pill bottle said the pills were to be taken as needed, for tremors, up to three times per day. This bottle had a lot of tiny pills in it. Maybe more than 100?

Lastly, with nervous hands, Happy pulled out a small glass bottle. It was labeled Palperidone. It was one of those little hospital bottles you see, with the rubber stopper top, for injections. He looked in the box, and yeah, there was a white paper bubble sleeve of new syringes.

What the hell was all this?

*************************************************************

Tony was in his office wrapping up some patent filings when Happy knocked on the door.

“What’s up Hap?”

“Uh…Tony, I think, I think well, I need to show you something. I just wanted to make sure you’re alone.”

Tony paused. Curiously he said, “Uh, yeah? I’m alone. Pepper's out of town until next week. Why? Is everything OK? Is it Peter?”

Happy didn’t say anything for a minute. He walked into the spacious office and closed the door behind him. “I have to show you something, Boss. I was closing up at Peter and May’s old apartment and uh.. well, this was there.”

He put the box with all the medicine in it on Tony’s desk, then sat down heavily as if he had just relieved himself of some great weight. Which, in a way, he had. Now Tony would have this information too. Share the burden and together they would figure out what to do. Peter was sick? What was all this?

Tony had curiously opened the box then unbeknownst to him copied what Happy had done just 30 minutes previously. He assumed they would have been for May. Then noticed they were for Peter. He lined them up like soldiers on his desk. He picked each one up individually. His puzzlement grew and grew.

He looked up at Happy, “You said you found these at their apartment? What do you mean found?”

Happy replied, “The movers found them and put them all in that box. They left a note saying they couldn’t legally take/donate/or dispose of them so left them on the counter in that box.”

Tony, who had been standing up, sat back down. He couldn’t breathe.

Tony, unlike Happy, knew what at least one of those meds was for. One was really powerful fucking sedative. And the other sounded familiar. They were for…depression? Or something.

He sat with his hand covering his mouth trying to reconcile what he knew to what he just found out. He thought he knew his son pretty well. But this was a pretty big goddamned oversight.

What the fuck? WHAT the fuck. What THE fuck?! What the FUCK?!!?

He looked up at Happy disbelief on his face. “What the fuck Happy.”

Happy just looked helplessly at him and raised his hands, palms up in frustration.

“I don’t know Tony! I mean, are those real? Are they really for Peter? That looks like heavy shit Tony. I don’t even know what they’re for, but that’s a lot of goddamned medicine and they all have refills.” Happy cried out.

“No shit!” exhaled Tony. “Christ. OK.”

“Friday?”

“Yes boss?” Tony picked up one of the bottles and looked at the prescribing doctor’s name.

“Look up Dr. Matthew Simoncec for me.”

After a beat the AI said, “Dr. Matthew Simoncec is a practicing psychistrist in the state of New York. His license number is 8928. It is in good standing. He practices out of a non-profit clinic in Queens. He has published several papers on juvenile psychiatric disorders.”

“Would you like me to continue Boss?” she asked.

Tony was covering his face and rubbing his hands up and down it in an effort to focus his thoughts.

“No.” then he paused, “Wait, send the address of the clinic to Happy, Friday.”

“Yes Boss.” The AI replied.

He took a few breaths and formulated a plan.

“OK, Happy. I want you to go to this guy’s clinic. Find him. Bring him back here. Now. Like this afternoon. Don’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Use my name, whatever I don’t care. Just get him here.

***************************************************

Dr. Matthew Simoncec wasn’t an exceptionally busy man. One of the greatest benefits of working for a nonprofit was that there was no pressure to see a particular number of patients per hour or per day. The biggest downside tot hat was that there was never enough money to actually run the clinic though.

There was money to pay him, and an office manager, but that was about it. He kept track of all his files and research data. The manager kept track of his schedule and appointments.

Today was one of their weekly admin days. On these days, they called in Chinese take-out and sat around the office catching up on paperwork.

At 11:00am a big grumpy looking man in a black suit came stood at the door of their clinic. The clinic was located in the guts of an umbrella type health clinic that had doctors and specialists all working together for a safety net clinic for the working poor. The counseling (Dr. Simoncec’s) office was in the very back, a set or two interconnected rooms with a glass door into the hall and one interior door separating the evaluation/consultation room and the waiting room/office.

Kristy, the manager, sighed and stood up from the floor where they were sitting, eating, and working. They couldn’t afford two desks. She unlocked the door and opened it just a fraction.

“I’m sorry sir, but we’re closed, we’re doing an admin day today. But I can make an appointment for you for another time? I’ll need to see your eligibility card.”

The man just shook his head in frustration. “I need to see Dr. Matthew Simoncec (Si-mon-kek), like right now.”

Kristy replied, “It’s Si-mon- _check_ , and I’m sorry, but we are not seeing patients today. Unless it's an emergency? I don’t think we’ve met before but do you know one of our patients of record?”

Happy just sighed, and looked past her, “Look, I need to take Dr. Simoncec with me. Tony Stark needs to see him. Like now. And Mr. Stark is not a patient man.”

Matthew stood up. “I’m sorry, but why would Tony Stark need to see me?”

Happy leaned his face so the doctor could see him. “Hi Sir. My name is Happy, and I need to take you to see Mr. Stark. If you could grab your things that’d be great.”

Matthew bravely said, “I’m not going anywhere with you until you tell me what this is about.”

Happy huffed out a breath, “Look. We found some bottles, some prescriptions that you wrote, and we need and explanation for them.”

“What do you mean, found??” No doctor would want their name on unauthorized prescriptions!

Happy shifted his weight from one foot to the other in a a nervous twitch. He decided that if the prescriptions were legit then this doctor knew Peter so he wasn’t divulging anything secret.

“The prescriptions are for Peter Parker—“

Matthew interrupted him by yelling, “You know Peter? Where is he? IS he OK?”

Happy thought- OK. Clearly this guy knows Peter. “Look, just come with me ok? I can’t discuss this in public.”

Matthew blinked for a minute. “Kristy, I’ll be gone for the rest of the day. Call Sylvia and tell her we are swinging by her office and that she _must_ make herself available to…I guess go see Tony Stark?”

Happy said, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, I’m just supposed to get you doctor.”

Matthew stated with firmness, “If you know Peter, and have him in your care, then you need both of us. This meeting with Mr. Stark will be pointless otherwise. Her office isn’t far. It’s on the way to the SI Tower actually.”

“Fine” said Happy. “Let’s go.”

*********************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout nice things at me in the comments!


	20. It all comes out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, for those that have stuck with this story this far, this is worth the wait.

Tony sat with his hands in the prayer position against his lips as he sat at his desk and just stared at the bottles. They looked real. He was familiar with the sedative prescription. He had had to look up the others. One was for tremors and the other was an anti-psychotic. What does that even mean? The dates on the prescription bottles were all the same. They were filled the Monday of the week that Peter spent with him, the week May passed away. They were mostly full, had Peter even ever taken any? Was he supposed to be taking them? Did he know about them?

Asking the doctor first seemed like the best idea. If the prescriptions did, in fact, belong to Peter…..then Peter _really_ dropped the ball on telling him about….well, all of it. But what was _it??_

He sat going over in his mind all of his (thousands, at this point) interactions with Peter. They had met at the end of last year…he’s know the kid for a while- hell- loved him enough to adopt him…and he couldn’t tell if he was mentally ill? Peter had been tired lately, enough to look ill. But he had just lost Aunt May a little more than a month ago, couldn’t he just be depressed?

 _Could it be true? What kind of friend was he? What kind of father was he? Why didn’t Peter say anything?_ Was all this even relevant? Is there some sort of weird prescription pill black market that May was part off?? It seemed hard to imagine that Peter was so unbalanced as to require all this medication and that no one- _Tony Stark, Pepper Potts or the Avengers_ \- noticed, but faced with the bottles, there were few logical alternatives.

Ten more minutes of this useless circular thinking and Happy pinged him. It roused him from his thoughts.

“Hey Hap, take the doc to the common room floor. I don’t want to discuss this in my office.”

“OK, Boss, but there’s two of ‘em.” Happy said hanging up.

Tony called out to his AI, “Friday, make sure Peter and Bruce stay in the lab for the next hour.”

“Yes Boss, I just started running a simulation which cannot be left alone, I do not think they will be leaving Dr. Banner’s lab for upwards of three hours.”

“Great, Thanks Fri. Let me know if they leave.”

*********************************************************

By the time Tony had made it up to the common room, he had only had time to clear off the dining table when Happy arrived with the two guests/suspects(?).

As they walked in, Tony said out loud, “Friday lock down this floor, no one gets in here for a bit ok?”

“Yes Boss, the Avengers Common Room floor is now locked.”

Tony looked at the people who just entered. One was a tall man, brown hair, a short haircut that needed a trim, mid to late thirties. Nerdy looking. Unkempt, but clean. He was holding in one hand an old fashioned doctors bag, and had a cross body satchel slung across his left shoulder. He was accompanied by an older lady, maybe fifties, and early sixties? In a dark blue, cotton wrap dress with some sort of small pattern it. She only had an enormous purse/carry all with her. It was almost as big as she was.

Tony strode across the room reaching out his hand to shake theirs. The two people had stood a bit dumb founded by their circumstance, apparently. It took them a moment to realize that _the_ Tony Stark was actually standing in front of them waiting for them to shake his hand.

Matthew shook himself out of his reverie. He reached out his hand to shake, and at the same time said, “I’m sorry, did your computer just say we were locked in here?”

Tony shook the doctor’s hand then went to shake Sylvia’s.

“Hi, I’m Tony Stark. I’m assuming your Dr. Simoncec?”

“Dr. S or Matthew please”

“…and I’m Sylvia Thompson. A counselor.”

Tony replied, “About your question, yeah, it’s only because I don’t want us to be disturbed. You’re both free to leave at any time. But I didn’t really have a great place to have this meeting. I didn’t want to meet on SI property since this is about Peter, so the Avengers common room it is. But we need some privacy and I don’t want Black Widow or the HULK barging in.”

Matthew and Sylvia sincerely did not know if Tony was joking or not. So they just nodded their heads.

Sylvie spoke up, “I’m sorry. I don’t really understand why we’re here anyway. Your- driver?- said it was about Peter. So where is he?”

Tony clapped his hands in front of him and said, “Let’s go sit down shall we? I need some information from you before I tell you about Peter.”

The doctor and the therapist followed Tony to the large dining table while they looked curiously around the large, well-appointed space.

Happy called out uncertainly, “Boss, you need me to stay?”

“No, thanks, Hap. I’ll give you a call if that changes.”

Happy nodded his head and left. Tony would tell him everything later.

As soon as Tony sat down, he pushed the box of prescriptions toward the two visitors and stated plainly, “I’m going to need you to explain these.”

Sylvia and Dr. S took a look at the contents without touching them.

Sylvia sat back, shaking her head slowly. “He’s not been taking his medicine?” she said with extreme sadness and shock in her voice.

Tony’s head shot up, “So- these _are_ his?! He’s supposed to be taking them?”

Dr. S said, “I’m not comfortable discussing my patient with you. But, I can tell you that these prescriptions do belong to Peter Parker, and I did prescribe them. Sylvia and I only recently found out about his Aunt’s passing. We looked for Peter but no one would tell us where he’s been placed. It’s _extremely important_ that he have continuity of care. Can you please tell us where he is? Please, he’s my patient.”

Tony sat looking rather emotionless. “How can that be? I have access to all his medical records. If you were a care provider for him, I’d have seen it. ”

Matthew blinked at him and looked thoughtful for a moment, “Oh…do you only have digital records?”

“Yeah, of course,” Tony stated obviously.

“Well, then, that’s because the clinic that Peter’s been treated in doesn’t have digital records. You might have a fax referral record from maybe three years ago? I don’t know. But all of Peter’s recorded are right here. With me.” And he lifted up his satchel and brought out two large medical files.

“We don’t have any computers in my office, so it’s just charts and notes.” The doctor stated.

Sylvia chimed in, “I’ve brought me session notes for Peter as well. I’m just old fashioned, I have audio tapes and written notes. My practice was only just bought out, so I just started transferring my files into digital.”

They both looked a bit contrite.

Tony was pissed. “So let me get this straight, you’ve both been treating Peter for _how many_ years??”

Dr. S answered, “Sylvia’s been his therapist for about 4 years, I’ve only been treating him for two years.” The doctor paused, then asked hesitatingly, “If I may ask, Mr. Stark, what’s your interest in Peter? Do you know where he is?”

Tony was looking thoughtful, but wasn’t answering.

“I know that he’s tremendously proud to be your intern, Mr. Stark. He has mentioned you before.” Sylvia said.

After another few seconds of awkward silence, Tony asked, “You ask what my interest in Peter is? Well…Peter’s my son. Adoption was finalized last week. Happy found that box this morning.”

He continued, voice getting louder, “ _Apparently,_ I don’t know shit about this though, right? What the hell is all this, can you please just explain it to me? Because, I gotta say, I’m freaking out _just a little bit right now”_ at this point he was pounding his fist on the table in frustration.

Tony continued, quite loudly, “Why didn’t he say anything? What are all these medications for? I just… I can’t… I can’t process what is happening right now!!!” A panic attack was coming on.

The psychiatrist and counselor acknowledged the crisis and tried to defuse the situation as best they could.

Dr. S spoke, “Mr. Stark, I need you to calm down—“

“CALM DOWN?! I’m just finding out that _my son_ has been under psychiatric care and counseling for upwards of four years and I don’t even know about it or why?!!? CALM DOWN?!” Tony screamed.

His arm was starting to spasm, he gripped his left arm tightly with his right. Heaving breaths. OK, slow it down, slow down Tony….breathe. In, out…..in, out. 

Tony reevaluated the situation. He just needed all the information. That’s all. Once he had all the data he could formulate a plan. He could fix this.

He open his eyes and was calm.

Peter apparently had a lot of god damned secrets.

“OK. I’ll tell you, you tell me,. I’ll start”, Tony stated.

Dr. S and Sylvia, both a little alarmed at the quick change in attitude (though welcome), sat back.

“Yeah….so…how much do you know about Peter’s extracurricular activities?” Tony asked.

Dr. S and Sylvia looked perplexed, “you mean like decathlon and band? I know he had to quit band and AV club, but that’s just because he started your internship.” Sylvia said.

Tony made a quick decision. “Yeeeeah. OK. I met the kid last year. Found out he was Spider-Man” he felt bad about telling Peter’s secret to the two people, but if they were _prescribing fucking anti-psychotic medication to him_ , shouldn’t they know??

Given the fact that Matthew and Sylvia were sitting in the Avengers common room, talking to Tony Stark, they tried, really tried, to not be shocked by the news. But that was pretty shocking news. Both their eyes widened a little.

Tony let that information sink in.

Dr. S said, “Wait. What? Peter is Spider-Man?!” with a pinched look on his face.

Sylvia was silent, but kept opening and closing her mouth rather like a fish.

“Yeah. Radioactive spider. I’ll let him tell you about it sometime.” Tony spoke.

Sylvia just said, “huh. A few things make a lot more sense now.”

Tony replied shortly, “I’m so glad that they do for you, but not so much for me, ok? Anyway, I met him late last year. Got to know him really well. (cough) (clears throat) fell in love with the kid. Adopted him after his Aunt died. I know fuck all about any of this shit in front of me though. As far as I knew, kid never got sick. Nervous, shy, yeah ok. Hyper, sure. But that’s it.”

Tony sat up straight in his chair looking straight at them, “Now, your turn. Tell me about Peter.”

Dr. S. took off his glasses, wiping the lenses, and said, “Um, I think, yeah, I think I would be more comfortable with Peter’s permission. I’d like to see him as well. I’d like to see that he’s ok. We, Sylvia and I, tried very hard to find Peter, we did, Mr. Stark…but we…. Well, we don’t all have your resources. No one would tell us where he had been placed.”

Tony sighed. “Yeah, well, that’s on me. I’m sure you can understand why I put a lock down on the information that I fostered then adopted Peter. Generally, being associated with me isn’t the biggest boon to someone’s life. It can be…disruptive. To both parties. So yeah, I made sure all the files were kept private.”

“As for you request to see Peter…well, I can appreciate that you both seem to care about him. So, OK. But I’m not sure how he’s going to react to all this. He kept all this from me. I….I had no idea that he needed a psychiatrist and counselor. So, I can bring him up, but I don’t know how he will react.”

Dr. S said, “If you don’t mind, I insist. It’s not right, even though Peter is a minor, to discuss his care and history without his knowledge, if it can be avoided- even if you’re his dad. I’d like to re-start our relationship with Peter on the right foot. We are um…we are going to all have to figure out how this happened. Why Peter failed to disclose all this to you.”

All the adults knew that having Peter come up was going to upset him, but it had to be done.

“Friday, please ask Peter to come up here would you?”

“Yes Boss.” A beat later “He is on his way.”

There was nothing for the three adults to say until Peter arrived so they just waited.

Finally, the elevator door opened and Peter stepped out.

He saw Dr. S. and Sylvia first. He froze. Then his eyes glided over to Tony. He inhaled sharply.

He stood in place, just outside the elevator doors, which had already closed behind him, and just stood frozen.

‘Oh shit. Oh shit…. Shit shit shit.’ Was all he was thinking.

Tony said kindly, “Peter, buddy, come on in. I need you to sit down.”

Peter didn’t move.

Tony stood up and walked over to him, bending his face down slightly, he looked at Peter’s terrified face. “I’m not angry Peter. No one is angry with you. I just need to understand, OK?”

Tony spoke quietly, but Matthew and Sylvia heard him. They could hear the tenderness and concern in his voice. Whatever preconceptions they had about Tony Stark were brushed away by this evidence of love. Sylvia was glad that Peter had found someone to take care of him after May died, but MY GOD, she thought they had made some progress on his low self-esteem and self-sacrificial tendencies. Clearly not.

Peter looked up with big wide eyes at his dad. No words would come out.

Tony took him by the arm and guided him toward the table. Sylvia stood up and gave him a hug. Peter did not reciprocate. Dr. S. reached out his hand to shake it, Peter took it robotically, but didn’t shake back.

“It’s good to see you Peter, we were worried about you.” said the doctor kindly.

Tony had by this time sat down. He reached up and pulled Peter to sit down beside him.

Dr. S took the opportunity to speak, “Peter. Your dad found this box--” he slid the box over so Peter could see. Even though Peter had already seen it and pieced together the pieces in his mind, “—and he, rightfully, needs some answers.”

Matthew gave a second for Peter to respond, when none came, he continued, “I didn’t want to talk about your care without your permission. Could you allow me please?”

Peter starting shaking his head. He shut his eyes tight. It was all going to be taken away. Tony would give him back. He’d be alone again.

Tony grasped Peter’s hands, “Peter, look at me.”

Peter shook his head.

Peter started crying, he said quietly, “You’re….you’re not going to want me anymore. You’ll find out how….bad…I am… and you won’t want me anymore. I’m really sorry. I am. But I couldn’t tell you, I couldn’t….I just... I couldn’t.”

Tony released Peter’s hands and grabbed his face, turning it up. “Peter look at me. Look. At. Me.”

Ever so reluctantly, Peter opened his eyes and looked at his dad. Peter whispered, “I’m sorry.” 

Tony grabbed Peter’s shoulder gently but firmly and stated, “Peter, you are _MY SON_ and I am your _FATHER_ , nothing…NOTHING, will ever make me not love or want you. Do you understand me?”

Peter refused to look him in the eye, “You don’t know yet. You’ll see.”

Tony didn’t know what to say, he just grabbed and hugged his son. As tightly as he could.

Dr. S said quietly, “Peter, would you like to tell your dad about why you started seeing Sylvia and then me? Or would you like us to?”

Peter dejectedly said, “I…I don’t think I can. Could you please tell him? You…can, you can tell him everything I guess. Doesn’t matter now.”

Tony just sighed and ran his hand through Peter’s hair and along his face. “Why don’t you go wait upstairs in your room ok bud? We’ll probably need to talk again in a bit.”

Peter nodded glumly and left the room.

Tony stared after him, “Friday, make sure he gets to his room and stays there. Let me know if he leaves.”

“Sure, Boss.”

Tony turned around on his heel, “OK, now that you got my kid’s permission, please tell me what the ever-loving fuck it is I need to know.”

Sylvia exhaled. “Well, I guess I should start.”

Matthew interrupted. “Sorry Syl. But I think that maybe we should ask Mr. Stark if there are other care providers that may need to know this information? It’s going to be difficult to hear once, let alone having to repeat it.”

Tony asked, “Pepper, my fiancé, is out of the country right now. Who else would need to know? ”

Dr. S said after a moment, “Does anyone else live with you? There _is_ a safety concern. Anyone who would be in a care-taking capacity. People who live with Peter, or spend a considerable amount of time with him, should know what we’re about to tell you.”’

Tony was shocked to hear that there was a ‘safety concern’, after thinking a few moments he said, “Friday, get Steve and Bruce up here would you please?”

Dr. S and Sylvia looked a bit surprised.

Tony explained, “I’m not the only one that is living here. Yes, Pepper, Peter and I live in the suite of apartment upstairs, but we spend most of our time with some other people. We basically live with 6 or 7 others at any given time. But these guys are the ones who spend the most amount of time with him. Between us, we’re all raising Peter.”

After a minute, the other men arrived.

Dr. S looked nonplussed and said, “Oh, by Steve you meant Captain America and by Bruce you meant Dr. Bruce Banner. Of course. Of course you did.”

He was too stunned to even stand up and meet them properly.

Tony tried to give a brief synopsis, “Hey guys. So. Um…. Yeah.” He had to take a break, he was tearing up.

Steve and Bruce looked alarmed as they took seats in the living room area of the great room.

Tony said, “Yeah, OK, let’s move the party over theren. Doc why don’t you sit there? Ms. Thompson, there. You guys just make yourselves comfortable.”

Bruce called up, “Hey Friday, can you pause the simulation in my lab?”

“Yes Dr. Banner. I will resume at your direction.” She replied.

Now that they were settled into the arm chairs and couches, Tony had steeled himself again, “Well guys… um, this is Dr. Matthew Simoncec and Sylvia Thompson. Dr. S is a child psychiatrist and Sylvia is a therapist. I uh…. I found out today, well, this morning, Happy found a box of meds in Peter’s old apartment and the good Dr. here and Ms. Thompson were just about to give me/us Peter’s history. Peter’s obviously felt like he wasn’t ready to share some information with me, but uh…. Well….I don’t even…”

Steve and Bruce took a moment to absorb that information. Tony and Happy found a box of drugs(?) belonging to Peter. And these doctors are friends(?) of Peter’s? What?

Sylvia cut in, “I’ve known Peter, for I guess the longest amount of time. I’ve been his therapist since he was 10 years old.”

Everyone, save Tony, was shocked by this. This gave Steve and Bruce some idea as to the degree of information that Peter had been withholding. Which was to say- a lot.

Bruce just said, “ _I’m sorry, what?_ I just took a look at those meds, and I know what they are…. Are you telling me that these are for _Peter?_ Our Peter? Peter Parker?”

Sylvia and Dr. S nodded their heads. Bruce collapsed back into the armchair. He just shook his head, “wow” he whispered.

“Anyway,” Sylvia continued, “Do you know what a CSA survivor is Mr. Stark?” she asked looking at Tony.

Tony shook his head. Tony saw, out of the corner of his eye, Bruce hanging his head, “I do.” Said Bruce.

Bruce looked sadly at his friend, “Tony, it’s a Childhood Sexual Abuse survivor.”

Sylvia took a deep breath and stated, “There’s no easy way to say this. Basically, Peter was repeatedly abused by one perpetrator, a college student, over a period of two years. He was his babysitter. Molestation and rape.”

Immediately, Tony put his hand up to his mouth and stood up. He ran to the kitchen area and was sick into the sick. His nerves had been keyed up all morning and that was the final straw. Steve had gone over and was helping him clean up while rubbing his hand along Tony’s back.

“It’s OK Tony, we’ll figure this out.” Steve said as they made their way back to the others.

Sylvia pulled a box of Kleenex from her bag and handed it to Tony, “There’s a lot more that you need to know Mr. Stark. Would you like to take a break?”

Tony coughed out an exhale, “A lot more?! Jesus fuck. I can’t…I can’t… No, No I do not need a break. I need to know what the fuck happened to my son when he was…?”

Sylvia filled in the blank for him “He was 8 years old. It lasted until he was 10.”

Steve murmured, “Oh god. No.”

Bruce just sat silently, breathing in slow deep breaths.

Tony sat motionless, his hand at his mouth. Finally it was Bruce who spoke, “That doesn’t explain those medications I saw” he said tilting his chin toward the box at the table.

“No, it doesn’t” Sylvia said.

She continued, “I had been treating Peter for CPTSD, related to his sexual abuse, for about a year and half when his Uncle Ben was killed, in front of him. Peter was with him when he died. After this, he started to have dissociative episodes and hallucinations.”

Now Dr. S. took up the narrative, “We think that perhaps the confluence of traumatic experiences with a biologic predisposition to schizophrenia triggered a psychotic break when Peter was 12.”

Tony said, “I’m sorry, what? Did you just use the words schizophrenic and psychotic break when referring to my son? Peter. The same Peter that was just in here??”

“Well yes, Mr. Stark.” Dr. S stated simply, but not without some sympathy. “I met and started treating Peter when he was admitted to my clinic via Cedars Sinai. He was deep in a violent psychotic episode. At the time he believed that bugs were crawling in his veins, and he had tried to claw and scratch them out. Using his hands.”

The doctor continued, “It took about two months of in-patient care, but we finally got Peter’s psychosis under control- somewhat. Enough that he could start school, 8th grade, at the time, on time. Since then, he’s been under weekly or biweekly counseling sessions with Sylvia and monthly evaluations with me for any necessary medication regimen adjustments.”

Dr. S said, “Technically, Peter suffers from Pediatric Schizoaffective Disorder complicated by CPSTD and Depersonalization Dissociation Disorder.”

Tony felt like he was going to throw up again. “I uh. I need a minute.”

Steve said, “I think we all do.”

Bruce just nodded his head.

****************************************************

After a few moments of silence, Sylvia took some initiative and went to the kitchen and rummaged around until she was able to get glasses of water for everyone. She found a tray and carried the drinks over to the group, still seated silently.

She broke the silence, “I think that now that we have found Peter and everyone is aware of his need for care, we need to find out from Peter how long his lapse in non-compliance has been. What meds he has or has not been taking and for how long. We also need to determine what symptoms of his disease he may be experiencing or exhibiting.”

Dr. S nodded his head in agreement. Tony, Steve and Bruce who had all been silent, each spoke.

The doctor stood up and retrieved the box from the table before coming back to the seating area. He took out each pill bottle and described what they were for. 

"This prescription, is one of the older anti psychotic medications. We started Peter out on this, his particular type of psychoses have proven...resistant to one medication, so we've kept him on this low-dose oral pill in addition to a monthly injection. It's the monthly injection that is the main anti-psychotic. This oral pill helped a lot with his mood stabilization an dissociation periods. Also, compliance had also been an issue in the past, that was another reason he was on an injection."

"The monthly injection can last up to 45 days...so even if he stopped taking all of his meds, that should have been of some service. But they all work in conjunction, really. For example. This next prescription is a sedative. Believe it or not, a good night's sleep is a huge factor in Peter being able to keep control of his delusions. So, that's why he was supposed to take that. And lastly, this last prescription was to control muscle tremors. The tremors are a side effect of the injectable medication. 

Tony said, “I uh…I ..he had a dissociative episode the day after May died. I know that. And…uh… I think… I think maybe he’s had a few other lapses in attention. He’s been…spacey in the lab.”

Bruce said, “I think I saw him taking some medication the week that he was staying with us, I mean when May was in the Poconos, but he said they were for a headache…I dunno.” He sat shaking his head in disbelief.

Steve said, “Yeah, he told me he was taking some medication after overtraining. And uh…I think…maybe… I’ve caught him talking to himself. But, I mean, that’s not... he’s not crazy is he?”

Dr. S. paused for a second before answering. “Well, Mr. Rogers, uh…yes. Yes he is. He’s a paranoid schizophrenic. _But_ , that’s not to say it can’t be managed. I’ve had great success in getting this disease to a manageable level, and have had many of the kids I treat go on to lead very productive adult lives. But! Management and continuity of care is key. Obviously we have a crisis on our hands right now, but I agree with Sylvia, we need to conduct an interview with Peter, immediately.”

Dr. S asked Tony, “Do you want the others-“ he motioned his hand toward Bruce and Steve “-to stay? Or would you prefer it to be just you and Peter? I do think we need to do this now.”

Tony said, “Um, if it’s ok with Peter, I’d like the others to stay. I’m feeling very much out of my depth here.”

He called out to Friday, “Fri- please have Peter come back down.”

Everyone waited silently until Peter returned.

When Peter stepped into the room, he noticed the presence of the others and hung his head in shame. He remained silent as he walked over to them.

“What’s going to happen to me now?” he asked quietly.

Tony replied with firmness, “Peter, we are here for you. All of us. What happens next is _we help you get better._ I can’t take away your pain and memories of...“ Tony choked up a bit, he couldn’t even say it “…what that bastard did to you when you were so, so young, but…but I want to be here for you now. OK? _”_

_Peter looked away. He dared not hope that his dad would want to keep him now. After he knew everything._

Steve said, “That’s right Peter. We’re here to help you get better. That’s all. You’re not going anywhere. You’re stuck with us son.”

Bruce stood up and placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder. He waited to speak until Peter looked at him, “Peter, I have some experience with super shitty childhoods, I’ll tell you about it sometime. So you know what? We now have that in common too. But yeah, your dad and I, and probably the whole team, want to help you get better. Tony and you can’t do this on your own. That’s why Steve and I are here. Your Dr. here, and miss Sylvia, well, we’re all going to help. Whatever terrible thing you thought would happen if Tony and we found out about your illness, well, it’s not happening. See? OK?”

Peter, who had been despondent and afraid ever since he had been sent to his room, began to feel a glimmer of hope. He knew he messed up in neglecting to tell his dad about his illness, but really….he was _Tony Stark_ and he was living with the Avengers- who would blame him for being embarrassed and ashamed.

He spoke quietly, finally looking up at the adults around him, “I’m really sorry Dr. S…. and I’m really _really_ sorry, Sylvia that I didn’t call you. I didn’t even tell you guys about May. I just… I just couldn’t make the call right after…and then it was too late...I left it too long…and anyway. I’m sorry.”

He took a tentative glance at his dad, “And I’m sorry, dad. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. May had made me promise to tell you months ago. I had tried so many times to tell you before she left on her trip. But… I just couldn’t. It’s so embarrassing. How could I tell you and _the Avengers,_ c’mon dad, how could I tell you guys that I’m apparently super mental? It’s stupid. And now I can’t be Spider-Man and ---“

Tony cut him off, “Hey, hey Peter. No one blames you. I get it. I think we all get it. Mental illness is a bear to talk about. I wish May had told me. She _should_ have told me. She should not have left it to you. But, I think we just need to figure out how things stand now, yeah? Just so we’re on the same page- Dr. Simoncec and Sylvia know about you being Spider-Man now. And everyone in this room knows about you being an incredible, strong CSA survivor, and that you have mental illness- one with a really long name I can’t remember right now. No one is angry. Dr. S and Sylvia tried really hard to find you kid. But my lawyers made sure that no one could divulge that I had adopted you. So that’s on me. And… we all understand Peter, why you tell us about this. This is hard, almost impossible hard stuff to talk about. But now that we’re all on the same page, we can move forward, yeah?”

Peter looked up hopefully, Tony really didn’t sound angry.

Peter looked around at everyone. No one was angry. Sad maybe. But not angry. “Um..yeah, it’s a schizoaffective disorder with dissociative tendencies….basically. Sorry.”

Tony stood up and hugged him. “The only thing you need to apologize for is for not trying harder to take care of yourself. Dr. S and Sylvia need to ask you some questions now, OK? If it’s alright with you, I’d like Steve and Bruce to stay?”

“Sure,” said the boy quietly.

Dr. S pulled out Peter’s chart and a notepad. He open the chart to look up his last doses and medications. Sylvia pulled a full-size calendar from her bag and several highlighters. She opened it up to the previous month.

“Peter,” Sylvia began, “Can you tell us the last time you took your medications?”

Peter sat down on the couch with his dad. He pulled the calendar to him and pointed to the week he had stayed while May was on vacation. “Um. This week. I had my shot that Thursday morning. And was compliant will all my doses until the next Friday. I uh... I stopped taking the oral anti-psychotic the morning May died.”

Dr. S took a few notes but stayed silent.

Sylvia told him, “ok, is that the last time you took any medication? So, about 6 weeks ago?”

Peter mumbled, “I had a few sleeping pills left that I took over the next couple of weeks,” he pointed to a few dates on the calendar ,”to help me sleep. And I uh, I took some of the tremor pills too, until I ran out.”

Dr. S asked, “Are you still having tremors?” The tremors were a side effect of the monthly shot. How long Peter suffered from the tremors might be an indication of how long the drug was still in (or not) his system.

Peter said, “um. I had some last week. Not too bad. Took my last pill then. Haven’t really noticed any since.”

“OK Peter,” Sylvia said, “let’s talk about your symptoms now.”

This is where Peter knew he had a choice. To be honest. Or not. He knew talking about some of the things he sees and hears sometimes, when no one else can see or hear them can be scary to people. He didn’t want to scare Tony.

Sylvia seemed to read his mind. “Remember Peter, there is no judgement here. We all know that you’ve been sick in the past, there’s no shame in it. So just be honest. We can’t help you, if we don’t know what you’re going through.”

Tony had absolutely no idea what to expect from this interview but he wanted to try and reassure Peter that he was ready for whatever he had to say, “Baby, I’m not angry and I’m not afraid of anything you might say. I’m Iron Man.” He said with a wry smile.

That made Peter smile too. “My dad is Iron Man.” He said while, finally looking at his dad, and reaching out to hold his hand.

“That’s right bud. Please, no more hiding. Just the truth. We can’t help you if we don’t know the truth. I’m not afraid. I’m with you, baby.” Tony whispered.

Peter would be truthful. He nodded his head at Sylvia to continue.

She asked, “Ok Peter, have you had any hallucinations?”

Peter nodded his head, “I guess so.”

Well, that shook Tony to his core. Steady Tony, hold steady for him.

There was a sharp intake of breath from Steve. Bruce just sat silently, looking down into his lap where he held his hands, clasped together.

“Can you tell me about them? When did they start?” she asked.

“It’s just Watchers. They’re back. I mean, I can see them again, anyway.”

Dr. S quietly took notes. Sylvia did not appear to be taking any, she spoke again, “Are they just in the corners still? The same as before?”

Peter perked up a little, a little excited even, “No! They’ve been moving around! They never did that before. And they’ve spoken to me. That’s new too.”

Sylvia blinked. “A Watcher has spoken to you? I don’t remember them ever speaking to you before.”

Peter went on blithely, “Yeah. Grey doesn’t ever talk. But Snoopy does. He and Sneaky. They say pretty shitty things to me, but I try to ignore them. What they say isn’t very nice. Or true, I don’t think. I named them after what they look like. There have been a few more, but those three are the ones who are always around.”

”Are they here now?” she asked? Like it was a totally normal question. 

“Well sure. You know, I can just see them better now. But Grey’s over there, behind Mr. Rogers. And Snoopy was in the elevator. Sneaky was in the wall a minute ago. But he’s gone now.” stated Peter.

Steve couldn’t help himself, he glanced behind him. There was, of course, nothing there.

Tony’s heart had stopped beating. Time stood still for him. How had he not noticed how sick his kid was? How did not one of them know? He discreetly brought his hand up to his mouth, he wiped his hand over the lower half of his face hiding his panic. 

Sylvia scooted a bit closer to Peter, “Peter, you’re doing great. Just a few more questions. Do you remember when they came back? And how often do you see them?”

Peter tried not to look at his dad. Or Steve or Bruce. He tried to focus on just answering the questions, “I saw a few of them a week or two before school let out. So two or three weeks before May died? But Grey was the first one who started moving around first. That was the night May died. In the hospital. He took May’s soul up to heaven! He still stays mostly quiet. Sometimes I can hear him in the walls though. Sneaky and Snoopy talk all the time. Like, all the time. It’s been annoying. Maybe, more so, the last two weeks?”

”Oh, um... and Justine’s come by.” Peter murmured.

Dr. S looked up, Justine had been one of the more uncontrollable personalities that they had had to deal with. This particular hallucination was more persuasive and direct in its interactions with Peter. “When was she last with you? And has she been talking to you too Peter?” he questioned. 

Peter was talking more freely now. “This morning I guess. Mr. Barton and I were watching TV and she came in and just started in on me. I mean, she keeps saying the same really shitty things to me. I remember what you told me and Mr. Barton was trying to take a nap, so I tried really hard to just ignore her.”   
  
“If you don’t mind my asking, what kind of things have Justine and the Watchers been saying?” asked Sylvia.

“Um,“ Peter hesitated. He looked down into his lap and twisted his hands in his shirt. “I, um. I… I’m uh… I’m not supposed to say.”

Tony and the others scrunched up their faces at this.

Sylvia questioned, “Why not Peter? I think that maybe you should. You know-“ Sylvia knew she had to tread very carefully here, “-that in the past, the things Justine has told you have never been true.”

Peter looked to his left, Justine had come in while Sylvia had been talking. The girl walked up to him, with a death glare in her eyes. It made Peter afraid. He looked at her, in her hideous maroon jumper. She was so ridiculous looking. But that did not make her any less terrifying. For example, right now, she was telling Peter that if he told the ‘nosy bitch anything about what I know, well, I’ll kill you in your sleep. Those secrets I tell you are just for you and me Peter, no one else. They’re not secrets if you blab.’

Sylvia and Tony, who were sitting on either side of Peter- Sylvia almost knee to knee with him and Tony on the couch next to him, noticed his diverted attention.

Sylvia asked, “Is Justine here Peter? Is she saying something that we can’t hear?”

Peter looked from Justine to Sylvia, then to Tony then back to Justine. Justine was standing there with a petulant look on her face, ‘I dare you, Peter, tell them. Tell them what I’m saying to you. You can’t do it, because you’re a scared baby. You’re not brave enough to die. Because that’s what’ll happen if you tell.’

Sylvia repeated herself, gently, “Peter, is Justine here? Is there someone talking to you that we can’t hear?”

Tony was terrified. He was watching, as Peter’s mental state deteriorated in front of him. What was happening right now?

Peter pulled his hand from his dad’s grip and just whispered, “It’s a secret. If I blab, it’s not a secret.”

Tony’s heart dropped. The Peter he knew didn’t talk like that. He knew in that moment, that there was an influence over him, making him say that strange collection of words.

Sylvia sat up and said “Ok Peter that’s fine, it’s ok. Telling me about Justine was very brave.”

Tony would have to find out what that meant, later.

Sylvia wrapped up the interview, “Peter, are you going through anything else right now that I should know about? That Dr. S should know about?”

Peter thought about what sorts of things he knew his therapist was asking about. The things that he could see and hear, but no one else could. He wanted to be truthful, to be good, and to make Tony pleased with him, so he thought about it for a minute.

“Well…um. I’ve had a few night terrors that woke me up… and it’s been really hard to sleep on nights like that. That’s all.”

“Why didn’t you come get me, buddy? I could’ve helped or kept you company,” asked Tony gently, running his hand through Peter’s hair. “You know I don’t sleep all that much anyway.”

Peter stated simply, “Because if I left the room, the poisoners would get me, they were in the halls. Sometimes I could hear them.”

Tony was inwardly screaming. He lied. He was afraid. He was afraid for his son. He had never been so afraid for anyone he loved, ever, in his life. But he stayed strong and tried not to show it. Peter was being brave. So could he. 

Tony looked at his son. His perfect, gentle, happy boy, who had already been through so much. He reached out and took hold of Peter’s hand, “OK, bud. You know, I’m proud of you, right? You’ve been so brave. To share what you’ve been...going through. I can’t say I really understand, but I’m going to try.”

Dr. S cleared his throat. "Peter," he said, "This is what's going to happen now. I'm going to have an emergency conference with your dad. Then starting tomorrow, you will be starting your weekly sessions with Sylvia. With your dad, or another caregiver for at least a few weeks, then you can have private sessions. You and I are going to meet again, today-- after I have that conference with your dad, and we will go from there, OK?

"Yes, sir" replied Peter glumly. "I'll go back up to my room for now. I'm, sorry again dad. And to everybody," he said looking at Steve and Bruce. 

Steve and Bruce smiled and nodded at him and remained on the periphery, trying to stay calm. Ready to help in any way they could.

But Holy Mother of God.


	21. The meeting continues...and ends.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m a genius with chapter titles, in case no one noticed. Peter really flies his freak flag in this one. Also, so much more whump in store for the poor kid, so hold onto your butts. Also, a reminder, this is all fakey-dramatic fanfiction, please don't take it seriously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the story isn't getting too long! Let me know what you'd like to see happen in the comments! I'm open to suggestions!

After Peter left the living room, Tony sagged into his seat.

Steve and Bruce came over to sit closer to the group.

“I can’t- I can’t believe it,” Tony said. He just sat, shaking his head.

Steve asked, “There’s no chance that what he’s been seeing is real? I mean… aliens. And I’ve seen some things that….defy belief… is there any chance?” he asked with a hope, but not really believing it, even himself.

Sylvia shook her head, “I can see where you’re coming from Mr. Rogers. But no. These images, the Wacthers as he referred to them, started appearing to him after his first psychotic break when he was 12. So, about two years ago. Justine is a ‘personality’ that has visited him on and off for about the same amount of time. He’s mentioned them to me and to Dr. Simoncec before. They’ve never been real. There have been other instances of other hallucinations. He’s prone to seeing bees. And he used to hear indistinct voices, bickering, as if coming from the next room. I’ve been present during those episodes and I can assure you, none of it was real.”

Dr. Simoncec picked up the thread of the conversation, “As you can imagine, it’s very hard for Peter to distinguish between his perceived reality and actual reality. When he’s medicated and well managed, he can logic that what he sees and hears during these psychotic episodes _are hallucinations, that they aren’t real_. But right now, he _believes they are real_. And that the medications only suppressed his perception of them.”

The doctor looked at Tony, “Mr. Stark, I would recommend an immediate admission into the pediatric psychiatric ward at my hospital.”

Tony's breath hitched in his throat. He sat stunned. This morning he had walked by Peter and Clint watching TV on the couch, they were just lazing around, goofing off. And now, reality was shifted.

“Mr. Stark, do you understand how dire the situation is right now? We need to admit him to the hospital.” The doctor reiterated.

It was Bruce who spoke now, shaking his head, “Um. I don’t think that’s going to be possible.”

Tony cut in, “Remember the part when I said Peter was Spider-Man? There isn’t a hospital in the world that would be capable of controlling him, if he…became violent. You show them, Steve.” He said with his head in his hands.

Steve looked around the room for a minutes, then went over by the windows and picked up a twenty pound weight that was leftover from some group activity or other. He brought it over to the group and as the doctor and Sylvia looked on curiously, he bent the small dumbbell in his hands and folded it in half. He set the misshapen hunk of iron down on the coffee table with a ‘thunk’.

“Peter beat me in arm wrestling last week. I’m not sure he was even trying.”

“Do you understand the situation now?” asked Tony with a bit of snark in his voice.

The doctor and Sylvia stared at the twisted piece of metal and were silent. But the doctor was a problem solver. “OK, he will have to stay here then. I assume you have access to some resources and materials that can withstand his strength?”

Tony sighed. This was all so overwhelming. “Let me just think for a minute ok? I have to wrap my head around this. Jesus.”

“Vibranium would work.” Bruce said, “And Steve and Barnes, and even me, in a pinch, could subdue him long enough to sedate him if necessary.” He said quietly while wiping his glasses on a cloth he had pulled from his pocket.

At the word ‘sedate’ Tony looked up panic-stricken. Jesus. Ok. This was real. This was his kid. Schizophrenic. But manageable.

Manageable. They just had to get there. From here. Where they were now. Which was hallucinating shadows that could hide in the walls and take people to heaven…. Jesus, Mary and Joseph… ok. Ok…

Manageable, that’s what the doctor said.

Finally Tony snapped out of his stupor. They needed to formulate a plan.

“Yeah, you’re right Bruce. The beds in the med bay are already reinforced with vibranium and we have some vibranium restraints somewhere… I’ll have one of those beds placed in his room and made as comfortable as possible. Will we really need the restraints do you think, doc?" He asked with trepidation to Dr. Simoncec.

“I do Mr. Stark. If you can provide a safe environment, by which, I mean- somewhere where we can keep Peter safe from himself and others- a locked room that can be cleared of all risk objects, I see no reason why he can’t remain here.” He said.

“As far as the medication is concerned,” Bruce said “We’ve done some studies but with only really Barnes, Cap here, and Peter being ‘enhanced’ we’re not totally sure on how their metabolism works. Cap, Barnes and Peter all need about 2 times the caloric intake of most elite athletes. And they metabolize NSAIDs about twice as fast too. But analgesics seem to be metabolized at about the normal human rate. I suspect anti-psychotics and sedatives, if they are acting on brain chemistry alone, would be similar and be metabolized at nearly the same rate as normal. But…this is all guesswork.”

“Thank you Dr. Banner, that’s valuable information. We will just start out at 50% of the last dose of each medication he was on, and titrate up from there as needed.”

Steve said solemnly, “Tony, we need to get the others here. Sam especially. He can train us properly if the good doctor here isn’t able to cover everything. We're going to need more hands on deck.”

Tony nodded his head in agreement. “I hope you understand doc. I’m going to follow Captain America’s advice on this, because we are most definitely not a fully staffed hospital. So Peter’s gonna have to lose a bit more privacy here, but like Cap said, we need more hands on deck.”

Tony called up to Friday, “Friday- send out a message. Avengers Assemble, at the Tower.” Tony knew Rhodes was in DC, so he called him instead, "Hey Rhodey, ignore the call to Assemble, ok? I'll call you tonight. No everything's not ok. But, it will be. I hope. I'll call you tonight."

*******************************************

Over the next 15 minutes the rest of the Avengers assembled, each running into the room with varying degrees of excitement and/or worry on their faces.

Clint came falling (gracefully) though a vent in the ceiling. A window slid open mechanically and a moment later Falcon flew in a rustle of papers and flurry, while landing on the dining table. Barnes came in from the elevator with Black Widow, both with guns drawn. As they each came in, they looked around at Steve, Bruce and Tony, and the two strangers sitting in their living room, they- to a man, did not say anything, just put their weapons away and stood silently in sentry mode waiting for something to happen.

Matthew and Sylvia just sat there wondering how they found themselves in such an incredible situation. Only Peter Parker...

Once everyone arrived, Tony asked Bruce to take Sam, Bucky, Nat and Clint to the kitchen (just the other side of the living room) and to give a de-brief for the situation.

In the meantime, Dr. S asked Tony various questions:

Had Peter exhibited any self-harming tendencies? No..at least he didn't think so.

Had Peter mentioned anything about the Watchers or Justine? No. Jesus Christ No.

Had Peter mentioned seeing insects or bugs in his room? What?? No. Fuck no.

Had Peter mentioned ‘losing time’ or anything like that? Steve said, Yes, he was way off in mealtimes one day. Asked about lunch at dinnertime. When pressed, Peter couldn’t remember what he had done that day.

Dr. S continued to take his notes and write out his thoughts on his notepad.

*******************************************

The others returned from the kitchen in a daze. They each, in turn, looked to Steve and Tony, cocking their eyebrows, ‘really?’

Tony just nodded his head. “You guys missed the uh, the interview. Peter is genuinely…. A little off the rails right now and I can’t believe he hid it so well from all of us. But, anyway, this is Dr. Matthew Simoncec and Peter’s therapist, Sylvia. They’re going to tell us what we need to do for him, to help him get healthy again.”

Natasha stepped forward and shook their hands, “Call me Nat. I’ll do anything for, Peter. He's our Avenger In-Training and he's my Little Spider, so I'm in, all in.”

Sam came forward and introduced himself, “Hi. I’m Sam. I have a lot of experience working with traumatized veterans. I’m also a fully trained field medic and have my certificates in trauma and PTSD counseling. I’ll help in any way I can.”

Sylvia and Matthew nodded their heads in appreciation.

Bucky stepped forward but did not offer to shake hands, he found most people did not want to, with him. “Same.” He said stoically, but firmly.

Finally Clint came forward, “I just can’t believe it...but I trust Tony and Steve and if they trust you all, so do I. Just tell me what I need to do.”

They all looked to the doctor for further direction. Matthew was busy scribbling out a plan on his notepad. After a minute of scratching out an outline of a treatment plan, he spoke.

“First of all, it’s vital that everyone here realize that right now, Peter is in a psychotic episode. He fully believes that the hallucinations he has experienced are real. Our main problem, that I foresee, is that Peter is going tor resist going back on medication. But he must. There is no question. We must all agree to that.”

Tony said, “Well, as his dad, I do believe that I have the right to that decision. And after what I just heard coming from his own mouth, I do agree. So, how do we medicate him? Or get him to agree to it?”

“Well, first, we tell him that he will begin the regimen again. I do think it will have to be adjusted in time, but, he needs to agree to go back immediately. We can make the adjustments while he is on them.” Dr. S stated.

He continued, “After that he will have to be under 1:1 observation 24/7 for one week, maybe more. There is an increased suicide risk when starting up some of these medications, and he’s been off them for about 6 weeks, so he’ll have to be closely monitored. When I feel that Peter is out of harm’s way, we can reduce the 1:1 monitoring to 24 hours observation, under surveillance.”

“I’ll be honest though,” he said looking at Tony, “I think that you need to prepare yourself, and the others for a confrontation. Best case scenario- Peter agrees to medication and takes them under observation and we balance him out with therapy over the next few weeks, and everyone here can keep him safe from himself while we get the balance right. Worst case scenario- when we call Peter back in he rejects the notion of medication and has to be forcefully sedated so that medication can be administered. Do you understand what this will mean? It’s hard to witness Mr. Stark, you need to be ready for that possibility. I do think it’s the more likely scenario.” He said bluntly.

“I did come prepared. I’m ready if you are Mr. Stark,” he said as he pulled his black doctor’s bag onto his lap. Opening it, he pulled out a bottle and syringe. He prepped the syringe and capped it, gently placing it in his shirt pocket out of sight. He grabbed the pill case from the box on the table and opened a few empty boxes. He loaded it with some medicine he pulled from his bag. “These doses are about 50% of what he was on, but it’s all I have on me right now. It will probably do. What is most important is just getting him to comply.”

Tony understood, “I get it. He has to be medicated. Bruce, Steve, you guys were here for the interview. You agree?”

Bruce said in his quiet way, “Yeah…I… I do Tony. I have some experience growing up with mental illness in my family, and Dr. Simoncec is right, med compliance is where treatment starts.”

“You’re making the right call Tony” said Steve is his most Captain-y voice. Cheesy as it was, it was reassuring.

“OK. That’s the plan then. Friday, have Pete come back down will ya?”

Everyone stood or sat quietly waiting for Peter. Nothing more could really be said. Everything depended on how Peter reacted to the fact that he would have to go back on his medication again.

The elevator doors opened and Peter stepped out. He saw that the whole team was present. That gave him pause.

“I know, I’m sorry, Peter.” Tony said, when he saw Peter looking at new adults in the room, “But everyone here is only here to help. That’s all. You...you're sick right now and if you don’t want to have to go seek treatment outside the tower, then everyone here needs to know what we’re going through ok? No more secrets.”

Peter was numb. Justine had been berating him for the last 20 minutes in his room. He just shut her out now. He was shutting everything out now.

He saw Tony come over and take him by the arm. He didn’t feel it. Justine was still mouthing off, trailing behind Tony. ‘You’ll see. They’re going to try and fix you now. But you’re broken and the medicine will kill you. It’s going to poison you. They don’t know it, but its poison. I’m going to laugh so hard when they realize they killed you’ she was saying. ‘I’m going to watch them all cry after you’re dead. You’re going to make the Avengers cry. Do you hear me Peter? Do you hear me?’

Peter tried to shut her out. He shut it all out.

Tony was asking him something. Wait. What was Tony asking him?

“Pete? Buddy? I need you to answer me bud.” Tony was saying.

“Hm?” said Peter with a glazed look in his eyes.

“I was saying Peter that I need you to go back on your medicine, OK?” Tony was saying gently. He held the pill box out to him, along with a glass of water.

This was so humiliating thought Peter, finally.

He was starting to come back to himself a bit as the situation began to materialize around him. Snoopy had been telling the truth. Sneaky had been right. Justine had been right. They were going to poison him. It was going to get into his veins. Tony really thought that stuff was going to help him, but Peter knew it was all poison. The Watchers had known. They had been warning him for weeks. Weeks. 

He shook his head, staring fearfully at the box in Tony's hand. 

Behind him, Steve took a small silent step forward. Tony sighed and gently put both his hands on Peter’s upper arms, rubbing softly.

“I know you don’t want to go back on them, but I’m not asking Pete. You have to. So please, go ahead and take your first dose.” Tony said it as firmly as he could.

Dr. Simoncec was looking on, mostly with approval. Tony was doing a fine job of handling this difficult situation.

Justine screamed at him. Sneaky was in the corner, creeping toward him. ‘We told you! We told you! It’s happening now. It is happening now. It’s poison.’ Was all he heard. He tried to quiet down the voices. The noise. But it wouldn’t go away. Justine was just standing there screeching at him. She was hard to ignore. Where was Grey? He wanted Grey. Grey was nice. 

A shadow was staring to envelope him. Everything was turning grey. He was in the shadow now. He couldn’t see clearly anymore. Grey had come, and when he was all wrapped up in Grey’s shadow, Peter knew the truth. The medicine was poison. 

Tony took a step toward him. Peter took a step back. He bumped into something, he inhaled sharply in surprise and looked up. He saw Mr. Rogers was standing there, through the grey haze.

“No.” he whispered. He said it louder, “No.”

Tony’s face fell, the tension in the room became fraught.

“Nonono” said Peter, stepping away from Steve.

Steve put his hands up, “Peter, don’t worry, we just want to help,” but Peter wasn’t having it.

“No. No! They said this would happen! They said so. They were right!” He said loudly.

“I’m not sick. I don’t need medicine. I’m in the grey now and I can see it. You’re lying to me. You’re lying to me!” he yelled. 

Dr. Simoncec said calmly, “Peter, I’m sorry, but you’re not thinking clearly now. Your dad and I discussed this, and you need this medicine. So we are asking one more time, please take it.”

“NO!” he shouted.

Peter hugged his arms around himself tightly, bending forward he screamed bloody murder, “SHUT UPPPP!!!! SHUUUUUT UP!!!!!!!” as he pressed his hands over his ears.

“SHUT UP!!!!! NOOOO!!!!! I’M NOT GOING TO!” he was screaming now, pressing his hands to his ears and shaking his head violently back and forth.

Tony and the others fell back, astonished at how quickly Peter’s mental state had deteriorated.

Dr. S said quietly, “Mr. Rogers, Mr. Barnes, I think it may be time now.”, as he approached Peter.

Peter looked up with wild panic in his eyes, he backed up and away, moving away from the doctor.

“Nonononono. I don’t want you near me. I know you. I know you! You’re going to make me sleep. I can’t sleep. You’ll try and give me medicine in my sleep! BUT IT’S POISON. THEY TOLD ME! I’M NOT GOING TO SLEEP!!” Peter had started to sound breathless and scared.

If Clint, Sam, Bucky and Nat needed any further evidence that Peter was mentally unsound, they didn’t anymore. Nat had her fingers to her mouth, silently stunned into sadness at how _terrified_ Peter sounded.

Bucky looked to Steve. It was up to the two of them to help the doctor get Peter sedated. They closed in on Peter’s flanks while the doctor continued to approach Peter directly from the front.

Since Tony didn’t have his suit on, he reluctantly acknowledged that he needed to stay a safe distance away.

Tony's heart was breaking in two. He could feel it. He could actually feel it. This is what heartbreak felt like.

Then all hell broke loose. It was bedlam for a full two minutes. Peter was screaming his goddamned head off. He was screaming so loudly that his vocal cords tore. Bucky had gotten himself behind Peter, so Peter couldn’t back into a wall. No one would be able to reach Peter if he got to a wall. Peter didn’t have his web-shooters on, so they only had to contend with his super human strength and agility. But Peter was so out of his mind that there was no coordination to his efforts.

Steve grabbed Peter’s left arm and pulled him into his chest. Peter dropped like a stone and tried to roll away, but Bucky anticipated this and was ready to lunge low. He grabbed Peter’s legs. Between the two super soldiers they were able to flip Peter over onto the floor so that he was on his belly. Steve had to use all his strength to keep him down. Bucky was keeping Peter’s lower half from thrashing off the floor.

The whole time Peter was absolutely going fucking mental. He was screaming so loudly and forcefully that a spray of blood was on the floor in front of his mouth. Strands of snot and saliva were streaming from his nose and mouth. He broke an arm free and it hit the corner of the coffee table, a loud crack was heard, and his flesh tore. He had lost a shoe during the fray and his pants were sliding down while his shirt was riding up.

Someone’s belt buckle caught on his skin and made a gash. More blood. 

Steve yelled, “We can’t hold him still much longer, if you’re going to do it, DO IT NOW!”

“NO! NO! NOOOO!” Peter screamed breathlessly, “NO! I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP! DON'T MAKE ME SLEEP! You’re going to KILL ME! DAD!! DAAAD! HELP ME! PLEEASE!! DAD HELP MEEE! DAAAD! THEY’RE GOING TO KILL ME!!!” he was screaming and crying, choking, choking and coughing on his tears and words.

Tony couldn’t take this. He bolted upright and backed into the wall opposite the struggle. He pressed his palms into his eyes. His heart was in his throat. Beating way way too fast, an irregular staccato rhythm. He bent over at the waist, trying to catch his breath. His lungs didn’t want to expand. He felt a hand on his back. He looked up. It was Nat. She stood in front of him, blocking his view. She couldn’t block out the screams though. The screams of his son, calling out his name.   
  
With tears in his eyes he looked at Natasha. He held out his hands towards his struggling kid. A pleading expression on his face, his hands in supplication. In a hoarse voice he said, “Nat. I can’t.... I can’t help. Help.”

With a startling kindness, Natasha took Tony’s hands in hers and brought his face into the crook of her neck. “Shh. It’s going to be OK. Just listen to the sound of my breathing ok Tony? Just listen close to my breathing and my heartbeat. That’s not Peter. That’s not him, it’s his illness. That’s not Peter”.

Tony pressed his face inthe the crook of Natasha's neck. he held onto Natasha as tight as he could. He had to believe in what she was saying, because if it wasn’t true, then his world, his life was over.

Dr. Simoncec uncapped the preloaded syringe and quickly darted forward jabbing the needle into Peter’s thigh. He quickly stepped back and said above the din, “You can let go now!”

Within 30 seconds, Peter’s voice died out. He got up an his hands and knees, saliva and snot streaming down into the floor from his mouth, his breaths heaving. He tried to lift his head up but it was getting too heavy for him. He crawled towards Tony, but it was obvious he wasn’t going to make it. One arm gave out and he slipped to the floor. He tried again to get up from his knees but his arms wouldn’t cooperate. He gave one bleary eyed look toward his dad and in a scratchy voice pleaded for help. “Dad? Dad...? I can’t...I don’t want to sleep. Don’t make...me...”

His breathing became heavy and slow. Finally...finally, he fell unconscious.

“Jesus Christ.” Tony said. He was openly weeping. He had collapsed against the wall, and sat on the floor staring at his unconscious son, who lay in a sweaty, snotty, bleeding mess on the floor in front of him. Natasha stayed by his side. Clint and the others had stood back and could only watch the traumatic scene unfold in front of them. Helpless. 

There was a startling silence now that Peter was unconscious. You could hear each and every Avenger and person in the room just breathing in the air, tension leaving the room. 

Steve and Barnes looked like they had just survived a battle with a dozen Hydra. Bruce was standing by the window looking away, his hands clasped in front of him. Sylvia and Sam were looking on, concerned, but both of them had seen such things before. It was harder seeing it happen with a friend and someone as young as Peter though.

“Oh my god. Oh GOD. What have I done? What have I done?! He’s never going to forgive me.” Tony said stricken with remorse at what he had just let happen.

Dr. S was packing up his bag. He looked up and said, “Mr. Stark, you’ve done the right thing. You did the right thing in calling Sylvia and I in and you made the right call in making sure your son can get the medicine he needs. You’re a good father.” He paused a moment to make sure the man heard him.

Tony looked at him with doubt.

The doctor continued, “I’ve left instructions with Dr. Banner and Sam here for the next 48 hours. Peter will be unconscious for at least 4 hours. I've told Sam what you need to do before he wakes up. I’ll be back tomorrow morning to start a line to administer the antipsychotic meds. What I have with me can't be administered via IV and Peter isn't well enough to take them orally. Don't worry, Peter will be OK overnight, if you follow my instructions there and Sam has assured me he understood. And don’t worry, Peter won’t remember any of this. The sedative I gave him has amnesiac qualities.”

“But I’ll remember” someone mumbled.

The doctor and Sylvia took a few minutes to complete their notes. Sam had gently picked Peter up off the floor and had laid him down on the couch. Natasha had gotten up from the floor next to Tony when she saw all the scratches Peter had incurred during his struggles and was ministering to his them while saying soft things to him in Russian, using a warm cloth to wipe his face of saliva, snot, and blood. Steve and Bucky were righting the furniture that had fallen during the fracas. And Bruce was splinting Peter's wrist.

"Tony," Bruce said, "We'll have to get this x-rayed. I'm pretty sure it's broken. So maybe just for tonight, we can keep Peter in the Med bay, until his room is ready anyway."

Tony, who was leaning his had back against the wall slowly lowered it forward and groggily nodded his head in agreement. He still couldn't really believe what had just taken place.

Sylvia finally stood up and said to Tony, "Mr. Stark. Despite the circumstances, I'm happy to have met you and glad that Peter has you all. You...You're all not what I thought."

Tony smiled tiredly, "Thanks, I think."

She smiled back at him, "You do a good job of keeping your personal life personal. That's important in your line of work, I imagine. Anyway, I am sorry that Peter felt he had to keep all this secret, but I do understand. He is a child after all. It's your responsibility to make sure he feels safe now. Safe and secure enough to talk to you. May... was a great guardian. But sometimes...I think...God rest her soul, sometimes I think she wanted to be his friend more than his parent more often than not. And, this is important- she showed too much fear regarding Peter's illness. It's not something you can show. Fear, I mean, that will only keep Peter away, because he doesn't want to make people afraid, so he'll hide the truth if you seem like you can't handle his illness. Do you understand?"

Tony understood perfectly. Because he would be the exact same way. "Thank you Sylvia, for telling me. I understand. more than you might think." he said with a smile.

"Well, good. I don't think Peter will need to see me until Dr. S says so. Probably not for at least a week, after all this. I'll just wait on his word, ok? I'll see you soon Mr. Stark." She walked over to when he was and crouched down and patted his knee. In a kind, soft voice she said, “I know that was hard to watch, but it was the right thing to do. Now we can administer his medications and that’s the place we need to start. Don’t worry, he won’t remember.” 

She braced herself with one hand against the wall and stood back up, she and the doctor exchanged their farewells to the others and Tony called Happy to take them back to their offices. 

Tony stood up slowly and went to go sit down on the couch by his son. Peter was laid out on the couch, his right arm splinted from the wrist down. All the blood had been wiped away. From just beneath the hem of his shirt, Tony could see a bandage with a little blood seeping through. There were scratches all over Peter's arms and face. But his face looked peaceful. Such a difference from just 10 minutes ago when Peter was shouting his head off spouting absolute fucking nonsense.

Tony had never heard such fear in Peter's voice. And he never wanted to hear it again. He ran his fingers through his kid's sweaty hair.

Bruce approached him quietly, "Tony, I know this has been a shock, to all of us," Tony glanced up. All the Avengers were looking down with fondness, love, and sadness at the tableau that Tony and Peter made. They all were nodding their heads. Steve put his hand on Tony' shoulder. Natasha sat down by Peter's leg and put her hand on his sock clad feet (she had taken his other shoe off). Clint, Bucky and Sam were standing together but close by.

"I know it's been a shock to all of us," Bruce continued, "but we're here now. And we are all going to be here for you. And for Peter."

Tony just looked back down at his sleeping son, continuing to run his hands through his sweat-damp curls, "I know. Thanks." 

Sam gave Tony a minute of peace. But he had to finally interrupt, "Tony, we need to get the med-bay secure and ready. Doc said Pete might be a danger to himself until we get him leveled out on his psych meds, so we need to take him down to the med bay, where we can keep him safe. He said he plans on keeping him sedated for at least 48 hours, he left enough of the sedative to re-administer it every 4-6 hours until he comes back in the morning. Don't worry, Peter won't remember much of it. But it is for his own safety. You saw how he was."

Tony nodded his head numbly. "Do we really need to tie him down? Is that really..... (sigh) yeah.... yeah, ok. I'll, uh, I'll have the med bay prepare the proper restraints. Call, um, call Helen Cho, I don't want to mess around in the med bay with out her consent."

So Helen Cho was called. She was de-briefed. She told them how to modify the existing beds to make them safe for Peter and it was prepared. She was in agreement with Dr. Banner regarding the metabolism of the neuroacting agents. She'd fly in from Korea tomorrow if necessary. It wasn't. 

***************************************************************************************

Once the med-bay bed was prepared, Tony carried Peter down. 

“Hey Nat, could you go up to our rooms and get Peter some more comfortable clothes? If he’s going to be in bed for 48 hours it shouldn’t be in jeans.”

”Of course, I’ll be right back,” she said as she left the bay.

Absentmindedly Tony said “Friday let Nat up to Peter’s room ok?”

”Yes Boss”.

When Natasha came back with one of Peter’s HULK tees and some soft pants, Tony undressed Peter down to his boxers and put the soft PJs on him.

“Baby, it’s just me, I’m just gonna change you out of this clothes, ok?” Tony whispered to Peter.

”I want to make sure you’re comfortable, yeah?”

“Nat went up and rummaged around your underpants drawer..... Just kidding kid. But she did grab you a HULK tee.”

”....You and I have to have a serious talk about your choice in merch kid.”

”...When you’re all better, ok?” Tony prattled on quietly as he got Peter dressed, disquieted by his slack limbs.

He finished getting him dressed and helped get his wrist x-rayed (no break thankfully, just bruised deeply). But he couldn’t bring himself to secure the restraints on him. 

"I'm sorry, Sam. Can you do it?" Tony asked, holding out one of several soft restraints that were lying on a tray next to the bed. He couldn't take his eyes off Peter's face. He was trying to wipe out the memory of Peter screaming in fear that they were going to poison him.

"Sure Tony, no problem." Sam went around to Peter's wrists and ankles and ever so carefully secured them each in a wool lined, vibranium reinforced cuff, which in turn was secured by a vibranium reinforced tether to the bed. Lastly, he pulled a cotton strap across Peter's chest. The last of the 5 point restraints that Dr. S had specified. 

Tony just sat by the bed, watching with sad eyes as this was done to his kid. When Sam was done, he said, "I'll come check on him and you in a bit. Get some rest while you can Tony, it may be a long night."

It was, unbelievable, in this, the longest of days, only about 4 pm now. In a matter of hours, his and Peter's life had turned on it's axis. 

Tony held onto Peter's small, limp hand with one rough, callused hand as he ran his other through Peter’s hair, he leaned into his ear as he whispered into it, "I'm never letting you go kid. And I'm never letting this illness take you from me. I love you Peter. I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? What did you think? Eep!!!


	22. No rest for the weary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie. I'm a bit stuck on how I want to proceed. The last scene was what I had been building up to and I didn't think much beyond it. So be patient with me while I figure out where this is going. This chapter feels like filler, but it all needs to be written, I think.
> 
> Also, standard disclaimer- please do not take take any of the fakey medical stuff seriously.

Tony sat by Peter’s bedside with the others as they reviewed the plan left with Sam by Dr. S.

The team decided to have a meeting of sorts to regroup and to make sure everyone understood the situation. They decided to do it in Peter’s corner of the med-Bay. No one wanted to leave his side, they needed to reassure themselves that he was there, unharmed.

Sam explained to everyone (Natasha and Tony were sat by the bed, Bucky, Bruce and Steve were sitting on a couch that someone had brought in, and Sam stood by the bed.) the plan for the next few days.

“So, as you all know, right now, Peter is in a psychotic episode,” Sam stated plainly.

Tony interjected, throwing his hand up in the air, “Can we not call it that please? Let’s just say, he’s not himself right now ok?”

Sam responded, “I get it Tony, this is rough. Especially since this diagnosis was so unexpected for us. But that’s what this is. Not point in sugar coating it.”

Tony, who was sitting looking _exhausted_ with his head leaning on one hand, propped up on the armrest, waved his other in the air flippantly and said, “Yeah, yeah. I know. I just…I’m having a hard time reconciling all this. 6 hours ago, Six _hours ago_ , Pete and I were OK- or so I thought. Kid just lost his Aunt, we were just getting over it… and now I find out that he’s been...what?...hiding…struggling with this mental illness for two years? And... I can’t…I can’t even think about the whole CSA thing right now. So forgive me if I let loose with some inappropriate comments. I get a pass for the next two days. Or two months.”

When Natasha and the others had heard about everything, when Bruce had given them the most succinct, surprising and heartbreaking de-brief of their lives, they couldn’t believe it. Not only had Peter lost his parents, he endured sexual abuse as a goddamned child, then suffered the loss of his Uncle- who dies in his arms!, mental illness and now the loss of his Aunt. It was unbelievable. Each and every Avenger had a sob story. An origin story, whatever. But Peter’s Parker luck took the fucking cake. And he deserved absolutely none of it. Poor kid. Good thing he has Earth’s team of mightiest heroes to look after him, she thought.

Sam continued, “Anyway, this is the plan. First- we are keeping Peter sedated for a couple of days so that we can start him on some meds and so that Bruce and Dr. Cho can collaborate and do some blood tests on him, to see how he’s been metabolizing his meds. We know the doses that he was on before, but after the spider bite, according to Sylvia’s and Dr. S’ notes, the illness did seem to manifest itself a bit more. He heard voices and starting seeing things, according to him, a few weeks before May passed. And Dr. S said there were some med adjustments since last year too.”

“The reason we’re keeping him sedated is because, as you all could see, he’s non-compliant, and unwilling to self-medicate. So, Dr. Simoncec, Bruce, and I think it’s best to keep him sedated while we restart the injectable medication he was on. We're also going to place an NG tube to use as necessary.”

“Hold up,” Bucky said, raising his arm, “What now? You’re gonna force feed him his meds and he needs a _shot of what?”_

Sam nodded his head, “It’s not ideal, I know, but he shouldn’t remember too much of it, if we can keep the sedation controlled. The oral meds, well, need to be taken orally, and if Peter isn’t willing to take them, then the NG tube is necessary. And yeah, one of the medications he’s on is a monthly injectable. It ensures that he has a steady dose of anti-psychotics in his body.”

Steve who grew up in the 1930s like Bucky, was just trying to follow along. He and Bucky grew up in a time where people like Peter, people who suffered from mental illness were just put away- they were committed to asylums, and it was best not to ask what happened to those people behind those doors. It all seemed very foreign to him, the idea of these medicines. And having witnessed Peter’s complete and utter breakdown just now, well, he just wanted to do the right thing. And he knew that Tony, Sam, Bruce and Peter’s doctors knew what was best.

“OK, Sam,” Steve said, “what else?”

Sam continued, “Once the bloodwork is done, hopefully within 24 hours, we will start him on the injectable antipsychotic. We are going to wait another 24 hours for the effects of that kick in until we evaluate him again. We want to do our best to check his blood levels one medication at a time. So the first one will be the one that will hopefully, get him out of this particular state of psychosis.”

He paused to see that everyone understood. He continued, “There’s a chance that it won’t be enough on its own, thus the NG tube. We’re going to give the first medication a day to kick in and if he’s still in psychosis, we will start another medication via the NG tube. He’ll also be given a nightly sedative to keep him on strict sleep schedule.”

“The doctor is going to come in tomorrow morning to put in the tube, but _just to have it in place_. Nothing will be given against his will, unless absolutely necessary.”

“You don’t think that putting that in will betray whatever trust he might still have, if any, in us?” asked Natasha quietly. “He’s going to go berserk if he thinks we are trying to poison him and wakes up with a fucking tube down his nose.”

“She has a point,” Steve agreed.

Bruce chimed in, “You’re not wrong. There’s another reason we need to keep in mind though. It’s going to be hard enough to figure out his dosing for oral doses. Without the NG tube, we’d have to figure out the IV dose, which probably isn’t the same as an oral dose and we risk relapse if we get it wrong. And since, once we get Peter on a maintenance dose, it’s going to be an oral dose, that’s what we need to try and stick with. If Peter agrees to take the medication on his own, we can remove it. But the NG tube needs to be in place in case he doesn’t. And the best time to do that is while he’s already sedated. Trust me.”

“How long do we have to keep him in restraints?” Tony asked

“Good question Tony.” Sam said.

“It is for his own safety. He’s going to have to be restrained until he is not a danger to himself or others.” Sam said.

“Yeah, but what does that mean? Kid was walking around for the last month apparently seeing shit and talking to invisible people!” Tony exclaimed.

Sam reiterated, “It means that he has to be restrained until we can trust that he won’t be a danger to himself or others. I’m going to leave that decision to Dr. Simoncec.”

Tony sighed, “So you don’t know.”

Sadly, Sam shook his head, “I wish I did man. But that’s outside my comfort zone. His psychiatrist will be able to make that call. Not me. Or Bruce or even Dr. Cho.”

Tony wiped his jaw with his hand, “Yeah…,” he let out a big exhale, “You know what I’m good at? I’m good at fixing things. It’s what I do. I make things better. But _this thing_? I don’t even know what this _thing_ is. How can we fight this if we don’t know what it is? How can I fix it, if I don’t even understand it?”

Bruce said, “It’s not about fixing him Tony, it’s about helping him live with it. This…this sort of illness doesn’t have a “fix”, we have to teach him that he can trust us, that he can tell us what is going on in his head, so that we can help him find a balance of medications that will help him decipher the world and quiet the false narrative in his mind.”

“Tony,” Bruce said with a pause, “when Dr. Simoncec was here earlier, he mentioned a possibility that you need to be prepared for.”

“What are you talking about Bruce?” Tony said wearily.

“Part of Dr. S’ plan is, if Peter remains in a state of psychosis in which he is resistant to the idea of self-administering his medications, then he, I mean Dr. S, will try to reset his brain with some ECT. That’s electroconvulsive therapy, Tony.”

Tony was actually struck dumb, his jaw just dropped and he opened and closed his mouth before he was able to speak, “Did you just say what I think you did?!”

“No fucking way Bruce. No way, that’s not going to happen!” said Tony vehemently, shaking his head in disbelief.

Natasha stood up, “Are you joking Bruce? That’s electroshock therapy! We can’t do that to Peter!”

Bucky and Steve looked shocked, “Are they still doing that to people? Won’t it turn him into a vegetable?”

Sam and Bruce shook their heads and raised their hands up, “No, no guys- it’s not like that anymore. IF….IF we need to try this sort of therapy for Peter, he’d be sedated. It’s basically like turning his brain OFF then ON again, like a computer Tony, you know?”

“ECT induces a seizure, which as you know is a small electrical ‘malfunction’ of sorts in the brain, and it can bring people out of manic or bipolar episodes and help to bring people out of psychosis.” explained Bruce. “Under monitored administration, ECT is perfectly safe. And it may be necessary Tony.” he said pointedly, leaving no room for discussion.

Bruce had rolled a small tray table up to his bedside, "Tony, I'm just gonna go ahead and collect some preliminary blood samples so I can begin the analyses we need ok? We need to get a baseline to begin treatment. We'll probably have to do a blood draw at least once a day."

Tony just nodded his head. He leaned back in his chair looked at Peter’s resting face then turned his head away to look at the wall, deep in thought.

One by one, the Avengers went up to Peter’s resting form and held his hand, caressed his face, patted his blanketed foot, etc as they said a small prayer for him or wished him well as they left the room to let him and Tony be alone.

*********************************************

About three and a half hours after they had gotten Peter situated in the med bay, he started to wake up. Tony and Clint were sitting vigil. Clint more so for Tony than for Peter.

Peter tried to get out of the bed, but since he was fully restrained, he couldn’t. This was it, this was his nightmare come to life. Justine and Snoopy had warned him. He was going to be given medicine and it was going to kill him. He looked at Mr. Stark, his dad, and pleaded with him to let him go. He could hear the voices of people coming down the hall, and they were going to come and poison him.

“Dad? I can’t move… I can’t get up. Do you hear that? Do you hear? I can hear them coming. I can hear them,” he said. Peter's eyes darted from his dad's face to the open doors of the med bay.

“You have to let me go, help me. Let me go”, he said breathlessly. His eyes darting to the door. He cocked his head to the side and looked beyond Tony and Clint, who had been beside his bed. It was close to 7:30pm when Peter had woken up.

Clint said, “There’s no one out there buddy. It’s just me and your dad here. And we won’t let anyone hurt you.” The archer could be ridiculously immature and inappropriate at times, but right now, he was just trying to be a good friend. He prayed that the medicine would kick in soon.

Peter was becoming agitated. ”I hear something. Can’t you hear that? What is that? They’re coming.” His eyes darted to the door and stuck there.

Tony gently took Peter’s face and turned it so he was looking at him. “Peter, try and look at me ok? You’re really sick right now buddy. Just trust me, you’re safe here.” He said trying to comfort him.

“No, no, no- you don’t understand, they said- they said that you’d think it would help me. But it’s not, it’s not going to! I need to get up, help me get up!” he tried harder to get up, pulling at the restraints. They were beginning to rub against his skin, creating small burns.

Tony said, “Calm down baby, calm down, ok? No one is coming, it’s just me and Clint here. Tony walked to the door and looked out into the hallway, he came back to Peter’s side and put his hand on his shoulder, “There’s no one out there, no one is coming. You’re safe here, ok? You’re perfectly safe. I won’t let anyone hurt you baby.” Tony was trying very hard to keep it together, but he could feel the pressure building up behind his eyes, he prayed that Peter would fall asleep before he lost it in front of him.

Tony looked up and made eye contact with Clint, they were both thinking the same thing. Please let the kid fall asleep, and fast.

Peter’s breathing became erratic, “I can hear them, they’re coming! Can’t you hear them? They’re coming! Let me up! Let me go! Let me go!” Peter’s red rimmed eyes stared at the door in panic. He ignored the presence of his dad and Clint. “Let….let ……let me go… I need…I need…”

As Tony and Clint looked on worriedly, they saw Peter’s eyes start to blink in longer and slower increments. In another few seconds he was asleep.

Tony sat down heavily in the chair next to Peter’s bed. He rubbed his hands over his face.

“God.” Was all he said.


	23. Implementation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up people?! I'm finally back to this story after the hullabloo of the holidaze. Jan is settling in, and I'm (somwhat) back on a regular schedule :)
> 
> So, in this chapter- which I'm none too pleased with, I did make up a pharmaceutical names, to keep this in the realm of fiction. Where's this story going anymore? I don't even know.

*****************************************************

That scene or something like it was repeated about every 4 hours throughout the night. Peter would wake up, agitated and confused while Tony did his best to reassure him that he was safe. The first time, Peter woke up and thought he could hear people coming down the hallway. The second time he woke up he wouldn't look at Tony, but just stared at an empty space to Tony's right and spoke to someone there.

"Go away. Can't you see they don't want you here? They won't let me go if you're here. Just go away. Shut up. Shut UP. He wouldn't do that. Stop saying that." Peter said.

Tony had tried to get Peter's attention, but the next dose of sedative took hold before Peter acknowledged him.

During the night it was Clint who stayed with Tony first. Then Natasha. Then Bucky and Steve. They all wanted to be there for Tony.

Truth be told, none of them knew what to do for Peter. This was way outside their purview. There was no one to fight. But they all recognized that they could just be there for Peter, for each other.

****************************************************

Finally, the next morning, Bruce and Dr. S, came over to Peter's bed in the med bay and gave Tony an update. Bruce was wearing his same old rumpled khakis and a plaid button down. Dr. Simoncec was wearing the exact same outfit. Khakis and a blue and green plain button down, long sleeved. The plaid was a slightly different pattern from Bruce's' but it was close enough to be kind of hilarious. Bruce shuffling in, rumpled and hunched in on himself and his taller, more confident twin striding in right next to him.

Tony thought he might be hallucinating the duo in front of him. Was schizophrenia contagious? Of course not, but this didn't seem real either. He sat slumped in the hard plastic chair by Peter's bed and was holding the sleeping boy's hand. He had been sedated again just an hour previously, so was deeply asleep. When he saw Bruce and the doctor walk in, after doing a Scooby-Doo double take, he straightened up and tried to make himself more alert. He called up to Friday, "Hey babe, can you get Sam to come down to the med bay and have him grab me a coffee on his way in. Thanks Fri." he said.

The doctor was curious and brave so piped in, "Friday, can you have him grab two coffees?"

Bruce added in, "Three please, Friday. Thanks."

Smiling, the doctor came over and shook Tony's hand in greeting, "Good morning Tony, I know you're anxious to find out what is going to happen from here on out, so let's get right down to it." The psychiatrist said.

There was one good thing about working with a psychiatrist- he knew exactly how to read people and how to ineteract them.

"Let's wait for Sam, he's going to be the treatment facilitator for Peter when you're not in the Tower," Tony said. He stood up to go to the bathroom to freshen up.

Tony walked into the bathroom at the far end of the open med bay floor and took a look at himself in the mirror. He skin was pale and loose, wrinkles and bags under his eyes more prominent than usual. His hair was a mess. He ran the cold tap and splashed his face and scrubbed at it several times. He looked up again and he looked marginally better. At least he felt more awake. He had definitely slept on and off in the chair and had pulled over a recliner at some point and gotten a few good naps in. And he had definitely stayed up a lot longer and used more physical energy over more days working in his lab, but this exhaustion was like nothing he had ever felt before. Who knew being worried for someone you loved was so tiring?

How did Pepper do this all the time?

When he walked back out into the med bay, Sam was there holding his cup of good, hot coffee. 

"Thanks man," he said taking hold of the warm mug, "You get some good sleep?"

"More than you, probably," Sam replied.

"OK, doc, Bruce, why don't you guys tell us what you've been working on."

Tony looked surprised, "Wait, when? What have you guys been working on?"

Bruce looked over at Tony, wiping his own tired face, "Dr. S.--"

"Please, just call me Matthew," the doctor interjected.

Bruce smiled, "Well, Matthew and I got started early this morning, he came back to the Tower at about 4--"

Tony's eyebrows shot up, "Why didn't I know that? Shouldn't I have known that?"

"You've got enough on your plate Tony, and honestly, this isn't your area of expertise, just let us worry about this part," said Bruce kindly.

"Anyway," Bruce continued, "Matthew and I have been analyzing how Peter's been metabolizing the sedative he's been on over night. It looks like he's been burning through it at about one and a quarter times the fastest normal."

Sam questioned, "So, if that's the case, and we assume that he'd been metabolizing his old meds at the same rate, how's he now just relapsing?"

"Well," Matthew surmised, "the best guess I have is...is that he's actually been relapsing for quite a long time now, he's just been very, very good at hiding it."

"Also, the maintenance dose of the injectable anti-psychotic he was on, actually has a half-life of 45 days in the body, he was on a 28 day dosing schedule, so it's likely that that medicine kept him from relapsing in a more dramatic fashion later rather than sooner." he said. 

"OK," Tony said, "But he only had this huge breakdown because we confronted him. Right? What if we had handled it differently? I mean, _WE confronted him. WE have him tied up in bed. WE are the ones forcing this shit on him_. Are we the problem? Is there a better way we could have handled this?"

"I don't think so Mr. Stark," Matthew said with confidence. "Peter is in a delusional, psychotic state right now. You heard him speaking last night. Those things he's seeing and hearing- he thinks they're real. Yes, the confrontation agitated him, and the idea of going back on his meds upset him- to the extreme- but we presented his options in a safe, controlled and caring manner. We've done the best we can given the situation."

"Mr. Stark," he said plainly and with a bit of edge, waiting for Tony too look at him before continuing--

Now, not many people spoke to Tony in that tone. Pepper. Rhodey. Happy. And it took a lot of guts to talk to someone like that, let alone Tony Stark, in his own home, so Tony recognized the effort and looked the doctor in the eye.

Matthew said, "This is not your fault Mr. Stark. Having Peter sedated for few days isn't going to hurt him. Keeping him restrained isn't going to hurt him. Far from it, actually, it's for his own safety. And most importantly, it will give us- his care team- the opportunity to come up with and administer a plan to get him back level."

"Doc's right, Tony. We're all doing the best we can by Peter." said Sam.

Tony closed his eyes and nodded his head. "Yeah, ok. ok. I get it. Just tell me what you've got figured out so far."

Matthew looked to Bruce to let the scientist take over. Bruce said, "Well, like Matthew said, since we've figured out how he's been metabolizing one type of neuroacting agent- the sedative we've had him on all night, basically a sleeping pill, we can start from there. We checked his blood levels of the long acting anti-psychotic and it's not in his system at all. We're going to start by stopping the sleeping pill. Then we will administer the first oral emergency dose of an anti-psychotic. A pretty strong one, to see if we can get him out of psychosis, then go from there. We're going to go with a dose slightly higher than normal, so that we don't have to dose more than every 4 hours, that would likely overload his kidneys or liver." 

"We will re-administer the sleeping agent tonight, and every night hereafter to try and get him back on a regular sleep schedule. So for the next two days that's it. One anti-psychotic and the sleeping agent at night. They're both going to be administered via NG tube, unless Peter agrees to take them orally."

That was Sam's cue. "Tony, why don't we go get proper showers and some breakfast while doc and Bruce set Peter up with the NG tube?"

Tony, who was not an idiot, saw right through the "ruse". He thought for a moment about whether he wanted to insist on staying by Peter's side. Peter was pretty heavily sedated and given all that he had just witnessed Peter going through, watching them put a tube down his nose that he knew the boy would hate was probably going to be the final straw. 

"Yeah, OK. Thanks Sam...I think... I think I'll take you up on that." He looked pleadingly at Bruce, "Be careful ok? Make sure he doesn't wake up. He likes it if you run you hand through his hair, it'll help keep him calm--"

"Tony, we've got it, and I know...don't worry- we'll be gentle and he won't wake up, I promise." he said kindly, "Go get a shower. Call Rhodey and Pepper. Be back in two hours, ok? No sooner. I'll have Friday lock you out if try to come back sooner."

With a small huff and laugh, Tony and Sam walked out.

***********************************************************

After Tony and Sam stepped out of the med bay, Bruce rolled over a small rolling cart that had the NG tube placement kit on it. 

"I've never done this, so I'll only be able to assist here, doc. " Bruce said.

Matthew replied, "I've had plenty of experience placing these, so no worries. With Peter sedated it shouldn't be a problem at all." he said while pulling on a pair of gloves from a box he retrieved from the table side of the next bed over.

The doctor did a cursory examination on his patient. His cuts and scrapes were all almost healed (huh, superpowers...something to digest later he thought to himself), and Peter seemed to be deeply sedated. Matthew called out to Peter, "Peter, can you hear me? Peter, it's Dr. S. I'm here with Bruce, and we're going to be placing a tube down your nose and throat to help you get better, ok?"

Dr. S. believed in keeping his patients informed as best he could, even if they were in no position to understand. He waited a moment to see if Peter could/would respond. He didn't.

Bruce said, "I think he's pretty well zonked out Dr. S, while I appreciate the disclosure, I think we should get this over with soon."

Dr. S nodded his head and grasped Peter's head and turned it towards him while tilting it upward. "Bruce, can you pull that rolling light over here to me, and see if you can focus it just under his nose."

Bruce complied.

"That's perfect. Thanks. I'm going to keep my one hand here, can you open up the tube kit and hand me the end of the plastic tubing that has the rounded plastic cap on it?"

Again, Bruce dutifully assisted, handing the doctor the end of the tubing.

Peter was completely pliant so far, Bruce crossed his fingers that he would stay that way.

The doctor held Peter's chin up with one hand while guiding the tube into Peter's left nostril. Once it was a few inches in, Peter seemed to flinch and try to pull away, but the doctor kept a very firm grip on his chin.

Slowly, very slowly, while checking the back of Peter's throat to make sure he was in the right place, he fed the tube down into Peter's esophagus.

Once he felt he was in the right place and placed the tubing down far enough, he taped the external end along side Peter's cheek, securing with medical tape in three places, before letting it trail to the IV pole adjacent to the bed. He alligator clipped the end of the tube since it wasn't hooked up to anything yet and stood back to examine his work.

While Dr. S had been placing the tube, Bruce had stepped over to the other side of the bed and carded his hand through Peter's brown hair. He could feel Peter flinch a few times during the procedure, but he remained, thankfully, unconscious. He'd have to tell Tony that Peter would need a haircut soon. Bruce looked down at his young friend. Peter was already the youngest team member, well, Junior Avenger as Natasha called him. But, lying here, pliant and unconscious, he looked even younger. 

Bruce sighed, then said, "I'm guessing Peter will be asleep for about 3 more hours, maybe a bit less. That'll be right around lunchtime. When he wakes up, lets see if he'll eat something then take the first dose of the Nolaperixical. Sound good?"

"Yeah, I think that's all we can do. Best case scenario, he agrees. Worst case, we administer the food and or/drug via the tube. So, be sure to keep him in restraints today and tomorrow, even if he agrees to take the dose orally himself. If someone is in the room, they can loosen the ties to allow him a little bit of movement, just enough to prevent cramping, and bed sores, but they must not be removed. Understand?"

Bruce nodded his head, "Sure doc. No problem. As you can see, Peter has no shortage of actual superheroes in his corner. You just tell us what we need to do and we will see it done."

The doctor nodded his head in satisfaction. "OK, I'll pop by again tonight at the end of my clinic schedule and before I go home. You've got my cell if you need anything."

They shook hands and Bruce sat down in the chair previously occupied by Tony, to wait out the time until Peter woke up.

********************************************************

After Tony had made his way back up to his apartment and gotten a shower he decided to do a three way call video call with Pepper and Rhodey. He had texted them both during the ordeal yesterday and last night, sending vague and probably slightly alarming texts.

**\-- Something's going on with Peter. Happy found some drugs. Rx. Going to call the doctor who prescb'd and investigate**

**\-- Drugs were legit. They're Peter's. For mental health. Going to ask P why he didn't tell, he's been off for a while, so maybe probs?**

**\--Peter's ok...but not. will call tomorrow. He's safe. Don't worry, will call.**

Various responses were sent back

**\-- WHAT?? DRUGS??!**

**\-- Dude, you just can't say that then leave.**

**\-- Answer my calls.**

**\-- Pick up the phone Tony.**

**\--** **Do I need to come home? Tony?**

**\-- I can be there in 3 hours Tones, let me know.**

**\-- TONY. What is going on ? What drugs are Peter taking?!? For what?!**

**\--Tony, pick. Up. The Phone.**

Tony's response was minimal to say the least.

**\--Can't talk now. At Tower, everyone else here. Not necessary to come now, will update soon.**

In frustration, his fiance and best friend responded, 

**\--Damnit Tones. You better update soon.**

**\--ok, Tony, but you better call soon.**

He finally picked up his phone from the dresser where he had deliberately left it last night. He felt bad about ignoring his best friend and fiance, but just couldn't handle it last night. He didn't want the distraction in the room with him while he was with Peter.

As soon as he initiated the 3-way call, both Pepper and Rhodey picked up. They were on a split screen.

"Jesus, you look like Hell Tones." said Rhodey

"Tony, what the hell is going on?!" said Pepper sternly. Her concerned face took up the screen.

"Do I need to come home? I can put Sternberger off and be back in a few hours! Why didn't you answer my texts last night?!" 

Wearily, Tony replied, "No, no Pep. You stay there. Peter's got enough of us at the Tower right now. And frankly, I'm not sure what use any of us are really gonna be over the next few days."

"Tony, tell us what is going on. Right now." Rhodey said. He was dressed in his formal military uniform, so Tony knew he had important meeting he should be in. He felt badly about pulling him away from the Accords talks, which is what he's probably doing.

"Well, to put it precisely turns out Peter suffers from a schizoaffective disorder with dissociative complications or something like that. _He's out of his fucking gourd_ right now because _apparently_ he hadn't been taking his meds since his Aunt died. But we found the meds, found his doctor and we're on the path to getting him level again."

...

...

"What? Wait. **What?!?!** " they said in unison.

"Please don't make me say it again," Tony muttered.

Pepper was the first to regain her composure, "So, you're saying that Peter is schizophrenic. And no one knew?"

"Yup," Tony replied, popping the P.

"We, as a team, and with his psychiatrist confronted him last night, telling him he'd need to go back on his meds... and Peter lost his fucking mind. As literally as possible. And I mean that. He fought back. _Hard_. Cap and Buck got tore up a bit."

Tony could hardly believe what had happened himself, so he didn't blame Rhodes and Pep for looking like it was Tony who had lost his mind.

Tony continued, "Before we tackled him to the ground and shot him full of enough sedatives to down an elephant, Peter was talking about shadows that talked to him, and that hid in the walls and some girl named Justine who said that we were going to kill him-- very creepily nonchalantly, I might add. It scared the ever-living fuck out of me and everyone in the room." Tony who was pretty well sapped of energy had said the previous with his face resting and leaning on his hand, resting his elbow on the table.

"I don't understand." stated Pepper.

Rhodey had a blank look on his face, "What she said." he said in a dead tone.

"Just let it sit a minute, I promise you those are the facts as I know them and witnessed them, so help me god." Tony said wearily.

Pepper was the first top break the silence, "I--- I don't understand Tony." 

Tony sighed, "Ok, look. I'll have Fri send you both the video from yesterday afternoon. The interview and the... I guess, intervention." He continued, "Look. I gotta go. I think they're about ready to administer Pete's first real meds, and I want to be there for it. I'll send those videos right now. I'd...I'd appreciate it if you could come back home when you can. But, it's not an emergency right now...not anymore anyway."

Pepper and Rhodey nodded their heads. "Give the kid my love Tones, I'll be back as soon as I can", his best friend replied, shaking his head in disbelief, before clicking off. 

That left Pepper on the screen in front of Tony. In a concerned voice she voiced, "Take care of yourself too Tony. I love you, and I'll come home as soon as I can." With a soft smile, she blew him a kiss and clicked off.

Tony had Friday send an edited video of yesterday afternoon to their phones, before leaving his apartment to go back to Peter.

By the time he was walking into the medbay Pepper replied to the videos with a text to both Tony and Rhodey

 **PP** \- **Dear God. Pete. Even seeing it is hard to believe. How? How did we not know?**

 **TS** \- **He's a smart kid. Hid it well. Now we know. Forward is only option.**

**HB- That was hard to watch. Can't imagine how hard it was for u. I'll be there for u AND my nephew soon.**

**TS- Thx guys. I'm back with Pete now, he's still sleeping. Bruce and Doc here to start first med. I'll keep u updated.**

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


	24. Clear Eyed in the Fog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK- It's been so long since I've sat down and written this story that even I have forgotten a lot of details. hahahahaha I'm so stupid. And I don't have a beta so in the words of a hashtag I've seen-- nobetawedielikemen.
> 
> Please forgive my lack of attention to detail.

Apologies to anyone following this story, my update schedule has been spotty (at best!).

The story has gotten a bit sluggish, but in this chapter Peter gets his first dose of meds to (eventually) get him even keeled and hopefully that will lead to some nice talks for him and Tony... soon-.....-ish

***********************************************************

When Tony walked back into the med bay area where Peter was….resting? He saw that Bruce was already present. Sam was sitting in a chair next to the bed, looking relaxed and reading a magazine.

It was currently 8:45am and Tony was feeling relatively well rested after his shower and talks with Rhodey and Pep.

He looked at his son. Peter was asleep, but didn’t look at all well rested. He guessed there was a big difference between sleeping and being sedated to the gills. He walked over to Peter and ran his hand through his hair. He’d need a haircut soon. Peter didn’t like his curls to show, preferring to gel them down or comb them out and pretty soon, the soft curls would be impossible to hide.

Tony’s eyes shifted to the NG tube already taped to his face and his gaze locked sadly onto it for a second before he shifted his eyes back to Peter’s closed eyes, he spoke softly to his kid, “Hey Pete, I’m back now. Spoke with Pep and Uncle Rhodes- they said they’ll be here as soon as they can, alright bud?”

“So, you did you get a chance to talk to Pepper and Colonel Rhodes?” Bruce, who had been sitting quietly in the corner, whispered.

“Yeah, I ended up having to send them video footage of what went down yesterday for them to fully grasp what was going on here.” Tony replied. His hands were back in his pockets and Bruce thought he looked more composed then he had been in the last 12 hours.

“I can understand that,” said Sam. “Hell, I was there and can hardly believe where we are right now.” Laying the magazine onto a side table with a slap. Sam stated, “OK, Tony, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page. Doc. S left a moment ago, but Bruce and I have a good handle on the plan for the next 48 hours or so. And between the two of us we are more than equipped to follow out the plan.”

Tony clapped his hands together and looked at Peter with some concern. “Yeah, ok…shouldn’t he be waking up soon? I mean, if last night’s schedule is anything to go by. He was up around 4 and he’s been waking up every 4 hours or so…”

“Yeah Tony, which is why we need to talk about the plan and make sure we’re all good to go.” Sam said.

“Alright then, lay it on me.” Tony said.

Bruce took over the narrative at this point, “OK Tony. What Matthew decided on was a flush of sorts, to make sure we are starting with a clean slate, so that we can do the best analysis we can of his metabolism of the meds and get the dosing as precise as we can.”

“Sounds good” said Tony, “So how do we start that? And why the long face?”

“Well,” said Bruce slowly, “In the short term this means that Peter may suffer from delusions for a prolonged period of time or in the other extreme become overly sedated, while we try and figure out the dosing of each medicine, one at a time. He may suffer from exaggerated side effects as well, as we won’t be giving him more than one med at a time in the beginning.”

Tony looked to Sam, whose face was carefully neutral, “But this is better in the long run, right?” he asked.

Sam replied, “It might be rough road for the next few days, but I’ll be here to help Tony.”

“And,” said Bruce. “I wouldn’t agree to this Tony, if I didn’t think it was right and what’s best for Peter. We all look at him as family, you know.” he said shyly.

Bruce continued, clearing his throat, “So anyway, Peter should be waking up soon since the last dregs of the sedative are working their way out of his blood stream. After he wakes up, we’re going to wait 4 hours and run more labs to be sure there’s absolutely nothing in his system. Then probably around lunchtime today we’re going to ask for him to take a dose of his primary anti-psychotic med. It’s called Nolaperixical. It’s a different primary anti-psychotic from the one he was on before, but considering his relapse while on it, Dr. S thinks it’s best if we go ahead and try this one.”

“I know I said he’d only be on one medication at a time, and that’s true- save for the nightly sleeping pill. A consistent night’s sleep… we feel this is non negotiable. However, we can’t rely on it during the day to help calm him down or keep his sedated. It will only be given at 8pm nightly, on his pre-psychotic break dosage.”

Sam said, “If he can remain rational and calm enough the dosage should be fine to help him sleep through the night. If it doesn’t seem to have an effect, we’ll just have to keep playing with the anti-psych until it does.”

Tony absorbed all this information and nodded his head. “Seems straight forward enough to me.”

“What can I expect when he wakes up?” Tony asked.

Sam replied, “Well, given his state prior to being sedated, I think we can expect some level of psychosis. How agitated he may or may not become is gonna depend a lot on his current environment and on us. I’ll do my best Tony, to make sure he stays calm. Now, normally, in situations like this, a psychotic patient isn’t allowed family visits---”

“You can go to hell with that Wilson.” interrupted Tony.

“---BUT, in this case, since we- you, me and Bruce are going to be his care team since Dr. S can’t be on site, you’ll need to be here. You're not a healthcare provider Tony, so, you'll just be supporting us if we need the extra help with monitoring.” continued Sam.

Pausing with his mouth hanging open, Tony replied “Oh, yeah. OK, sure. Of course, I’ll be here.”

Sam nodded his head, smiling, “I know you will be Tones. Especially since you have the first 24 hours of monitoring. Pete’s gonna be on 1:1 monitor for a few days, once he's out of the restraints. You get first shift. Although, of course, Bruce and I will be checking in periodically. And we’ll be on call throughout his journey. You and he will never be without support, OK Tony?” Sam glanced at Tony and made eye contact, making sure the man understood.

“Yeah, sounds peachy, thanks Wilson.” said Tony.

At that moment, Peter began to stir. Tony immediately stepped to his side, he leaned one hand next to Peter’s head, and grasped Peter’s right hand with his other.

Bruce said, “I don’t want to crowd him, you guys try and see what is state of mind is ok? I think the smaller the audience, the better. You can fill in the team later, ok Tony?”

Tony waved him off, “Yeah yeah, Bruce, go tell the others he’s waking up. We’ll catch up later,” he said, not paying attention as the man left. Tony had eyes on Peter only.

“Pete? Sleeping beauty? You waking up buddy?” he said quietly.

Since Peter’s body finally metabolized all the sedatives and his mind and body were relatively well rested, Peter’s eyes were clear as he opened them.

“God. Yeah, yeah. I’m awake.” he said groggily. He attempted to sit up but since he had a strap across his chest and his wrists were restrained, he scrunched his face in confusion as he looked down.

“What’s going on?” he said with a slight panic in his voice. He looked around the room at Sam and Tony, keeping his eyes on Tony’s face while pulling at the restraints.

“What’s going on?” he repeated. “Let me go, Mr. Stark, let me go.” He pleaded. Then he swallowed. Peter felt something at the back of his throat. He remembered this. He knew what that was. He lloked down his face along side his nose and saw the edges of tubing and felt paper tape on his cheek. 

"No, no!" he said in an agitated manner, "Get it out, get the tube out of me!" he yelled. "What are you putting in me? I don't want it! Get it out!!" he yelled, turning his face left and right trying to rub the tubing out.

Tony took a deep breath and clasped tightly onto Peter’s right hand. “Calm down buddy, calm down! There's nothing in the tube! There's nothing in it!" Peter wasn't listening. Tony grabbed his face and held him still.

"Peter, calm down buddy. There's nothing in the tube." he picked up the end of the tubing from the side of the bed, and showed Peter that it wasn't attached to the IV stand and bag, and that the alligator clip was sealed. 

"There's nothing in it buddy. It's just in place in case we need it later buddy." Tony said, hoping that Peter wouldn't get more upset at that. He continued, "You’re not in trouble, just relax for a second, ok?”

“What? Why? How come I’m tied up? Did I do something?” Peter asked, “What’s happening?”

“Peter, buddy, calm down. Lay back for me bud.” Tony said patiently.

Internally, Tony was thankful that so far, Peter seemed more himself, agitated and confused, but he sounded more like himself, a little bit anyway. Maybe this would go alright….

Peter lay back and looked at Tony with such love and trust that it broke the man’s heart.

“How much of yesterday and last night do you remember Peter?” Tony asked quietly.

Peter drew his brow in, in concentration. “I…uh…I don’t know. I went to school….It’s all kind of… did I go to school? What day is it? ” he asked looking up with big brown eyes at Tony.

“Today’s Tuesday, bud. It was a Teacher Workday yesterday so you stayed home with Barton and Bruce. Do you remember?” Tony asked.

Peter scrunched up his face in concentration, but slowly shook his head, "I don't...I don't know."

Sam stood up and rested his hand along the other side of Peter’s bed. “Hey Pete. Can you tell us the last thing you _do_ remember?”

Peter lay back and paused deep in thought. His frustration with the restraints momentarily forgotten. He spoke, “Hi, Mr. Wilson", bringing forth a smile from the man, "I remember … running a simulation in Dr. Banner’s lab?”

“That’s right Peter, you were helping him.” Tony said. “Then I called you down to meet some people. Do you remember that?”

Peter’s eyes were closed in concentration, his breathing normal and his face and mouth pursed in concentration. All of a sudden his eyes popped open and he exhaled a deep breath. “Dr. S and Sylvia. They found me.”

He jerked on the restraints and looked at the adults with wide eyes, “Please let me go, please! I know I should’ve told you about them, but I just couldn’t! Just let me go, I can explain everything! Please? I’m not gonna do anything, I promise! I promise!”

Tony shook his head, “We can’t do that bud. Dr. S’ orders.” He blew a sharp breath out his nose, “Why don’t you tell us what’s going on with you Peter? Can you do that for us?”

Peter slowly relaxed his body and looked down at his blanketed feet. “I can’t….I just…I can’t”

Sam asked, “Why not Peter? You know you can trust us, with anything, right?”

Peter’s head jerked up, “Yeah, I know!” he looked away, “ I just… you won’t understand.”

Tony gave his hand a squeeze, “You have to trust us buddy. We believe in you. And we just want to help.”

Tony gently took his hand and pulled Peter’s chin up and towards him so Peter could see his face. He repeated, “Just give us a chance, Peter. We want to help you.”

Peter tried to roll over, but then got caught up in the restraints. He huffed out in frustration. “God I hate being in these.”

Tony and Sam stole a look at each other, Peter’s tone insinuated that this wasn’t his first rodeo in a situation like this.

Sam prodded Peter, “Peter, if you don’t know where to start, just start at the beginning.”

Peter, resigning himself to the situation turned his head away from looking at either man directly. Tony and Sam waited a minute and Tony thought Peter was going to block them out, when he heard the boy speak ever so softly, “You won’t believe me.”

Tony hung his head and thought to himself _You’re probably right kiddo_ but said again, “We believe in you Peter. But we need to know what’s going on in that coconut of yours if you want us to help you.”

“OK,” he whispered dejectedly.

 _Where to start?_ asked Peter to himself. He supposed that Mr. Stark and Mr. Wilson would need to hear _everything_. Gross.

“I had a lot of shitty things happen to me, sorry… _bad_ things happen to me when I was younger. I guess. I uh… I guess you know all about Skip?” he glanced up at both men.

Tony and Sam both had questioning looks on their faces.

“Oh.” said Peter, “That’s the name of the man who…who uh..hurt…me..when I was a kid.”

Tony hung his head and gave Peter’s hand a hard squeeze, “Oh Peter—“

“—It’s OK Mr. Stark!” Peter cut him off, before Mr. Stark or Sam could get _that tone_ and _that look_ on their faces. This is why he hated talking about Skip. He hated the looks that got on people’s faces, how they looked at him after they found out. May and Ben looked at him like that for so long after it happened.

Peter continued, “Really, Mr. Stark, it’s OK. I’m OK. I really am. Well, as much as anyone could be, I guess. Sylvia, she’s been helping me for a long time with all that stuff.”

Tony rolled his eyes and scoffed, “ ‘ _That stuff_ ’ Only you kid. You’ve been a superkid for way longer than I’ve know you, you know that right?

Peter smiled just a little. “I guess. Anyway…Sylvia and Dr. S think that after all that stuff happened it made me…sick? I dunno. I don’t know how one thing has anything to do with anything else.”

He continues, “Like, how I can see the Watcher’s and stuff. I mean, I know sometimes they come and go, and I guess I hear voices and see stuff, but I mean, I don’t know how all that means I’m sick?”

Sam was nodding his head, “OK…so, you’ve been seeing Dr. S and Sylvia for a while now. I know you started seeing Sylvia after that man, Skip, hurt you, right? Can you tell us how Dr. Simoncec came into the picture?”

Sam was trying to tease out Peter’s perspective of his illness. Clearly, it was all muddled in the boy’s brain.

Peter looked down at his feet again. With his ankles and wrists tied down, it was pretty much all he could do.

“Oh. Uh, I don’t remember much of that. Just what May told me. And she didn’t like to talk about it.”

Tony, who was still as angry as one could be at a deceased person, was still SO angry that May had not told them all about Peter’s mental illness.

“Well, I’m not her, Peter and I’m not angry or afraid, and I never will be- ok?” Tony reassured him.

Peter looked up at his dad with big, brown eyes. Tears started to form in his eyes and he held his breath. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t tell Mr. Stark all the dirty secrets. It would ruin everything.

Tony saw how distressed Peter was getting and tried his best to calm him down, “Whoa buddy. It’s alright,” he said.

“I will never leave you. I’m not gonna judge you. Whatever you think it is you can’t tell me, you can. We have to know Peter. Do you understand? I can’t help you get better if you don’t tell us.”

Peter whispered as a single tear trailed down his face, “You say that now. But May was scared of me. I could tell.”

Shaking an imaginary fist again at Peter’s old guardian, Tony stated, “I know you Peter. And you know me. And I think I knew May pretty well. I think she was just afraid for you bud. Not _of_ you. There’s a difference.”

“Doesn’t matter anyway. You’re not gonna let me out until I tell anyway, right?” he asked.

Sam who was willing to be the bad guy nodded, “Pretty much Peter. But Tony is telling you the truth, we just want to understand, so that we can help. So why don’t you tell us how you came under the care of Dr. Simoncec.”

Peter exhaled and looked away from both men again.

For a minute Tony thought Peter wasn’t going to cooperate but the boy started speaking in a quiet monotone voice.

“I don’t really remember too much of it. May never talked about it.” he said.

Not looking at either man Peter said, “Anyway, I guess one day- it was at the end of 7th grade- I guess I kind of thought bugs were getting in my room and…into my skin and stuff. I guess I freaked out and tried to get them out. I dunno.”

Tony and Sam remained quiet, letting Peter tell his story at his own pace. They both knew there was a whole shitload of stuff to unpack in Peter’s meager words, but chose to remain silent.

Peter paused a moment before continuing, “Anyway, May had me taken to the hospital where I met Dr. S. and—“ he chuckled a dark little sound, “I woke up very much like I did just now.”

“I uh…” his brow wrinkled in frustration.

“I don’t remember much about my stay at Dr. S’ clinic. I really don’t. I just know that he put me on a bunch of medicine that helps my brain be quiet.”

“Be quiet?” asked Sam.

This was it, the moment where through Peter’s own words they would be able to maybe understand what state of mind Peter was in at the moment.

Peter nodded his head, “Yeah, uh. Dr. S says I’m sick. He says that that I’m prone to seeing and hearing things that maybe no one else can see. And he had me take a bunch of meds so that it’s all pushed to the background., I guess. I dunno.”

“Yeah bud. Happy found that box of medicine you were supposed to be taking at your old apartment. That's when I called Dr. Simoncec. I hope you understand why I did that.” Stated Tony.

Peter wriggled his fingers and hand out from Tony’s grasp. Continuing to look away, he muttered, “I guess.”

Tony sighed. “What are you thinking right now Peter?”

Peter sighed. “I dunno. I just think that I can handle it on my own. Look what you guys did. I’m all tied up like some crazy person. I’m not. I’m not crazy. I wasn’t going to hurt anybody.”

Sam cut in- “We know you wouldn’t want to hurt anyone Peter, but we’re worried about you…and your state of mind.”

Peter just shrugged. “Look, I’ve been dealing with….whatever…for a long time. It’s got a label even, I’m sure Dr. S told you. I’m fine. I don’t need any of those meds. They make me feel like shit. I’m not myself when I’m on them. I don’t need them.” he sulked.

Sam and Tony shared another look. “OK", Sam said. “OK, look, Peter, just rest up for a few hours. It’s gonna be lunchtime soon. I’m going to go get you a tray and we’ll talk again, alright?”

“Can you just let me out of here, please?” Peter pleaded.

Tony spoke now. “Look, kid. 18 hours ago you were pretty damn agitated and it took Cap and Barnes to calm you down. For now, just humor us ok? Your doctor recommended this protocol for your safety and ours, so just be patient for a bit, ok?”

He continued, “You said you’d woken up in a situation like this before right? And Dr. S, May and Sylvia helped you get back to normal, yeah? Just give us some time, so we can do it again.”

Peter interjected, “But I am fine! I am---“, he protested, pulling on the restraints.

“You don’t remember what happened yesterday buddy, you blacked out. That's not normal. And Cap and Barnes have the bruises and scratches that prove you were hellbent on running away…and I can’t have that. I can’t lose you buddy. So just sit tight ok? I need to know that you’re safe. Just humor your old man, ok?”

Peter pulled futilely at the restraints.

“They’re vibranium kid. Stop, or you’re just going to hurt yourself and prove us right in keeping them on.” Tony said.

“Well poop.” Peter said, “I guess I don’t have a choice then.” Then he turned his head and looked away again.

Tony sighed. Well, it’s not great, but Peter’s attitude was at least somewhat amenable and his state of mind comparatively clear, compared to yesterday, anyway. He and Sam left Peter’s bedside and walked down the hall without exchanging any words.

They turned into a conference room and Tony held up his hand to Sam. He pressed a few buttons on his watch and looked up at the ceiling. Immediately the lights dimmed a small degree and the sound of white noise filtered down from the ceiling.

“OK Wilson, I’ve soundproofed this room so the kid can’t hear us.”

He blew out a breath and said, “Is it me or did that go…ok?” Tony started.

Sam replied, “For sure man…it could have gone WAY worse.”

Tony shook his head in disbelief and/or relief, “I mean, kid’s still out of his gourd, but at least he wasn’t spitting mad.”

Sam smiled and nodded agreement. He said “Yeah, the meds are for sure out of his system and Dr. S mentioned how Pete has trouble stabilizing his moods when off his meds, so I consider that conversation a win.”

“OK, Tell me what you think about that conversation...” Tony said.

Sam stood at relaxed attention rubbing his chin with his hand. He thought carefully before speaking, “I think he’s still in a heightened paranoid state. Still delusional and actually quite combative in his mindset in regards his illness.”

“You heard him,” Sam said pointedly, “He shifted all the blame to Dr. S regarding his hallucinations. He stated it all as if it was theory. Everything was Dr. S’ decision, nothing was his. I'm not even sure he believes he was ever delusional at the time of his first psychotic break.”

“Yeah, I heard that too.” Tony agreed. “What do we do?”

“Nothing changes as far as our plan is concerned. I wish Dr. S could be here, but he had to go back for another emergency at his clinic. Still, the plan-- a good plan-- is in place. We go back with some lunch, offer up his meds and if he declines to take them orally, we administer them via the NG tube. I think it’s best if Banner does it.”

Tony nodded his understanding, but tilted his head, “Why?”

Sam answered, “Well, it can’t be you- obviously. You need to just be there as his dad. You’re family, not a care provider. And I want to remain as neutral as I can. For the most part, I’m going to be Sylvia’s proxy since she can’t be here as often as we need and Bruce can be Dr. S’ proxy since he can’t be here all the time either. Dr. S needs to be at his clinic and Sylvia in her practice.”

Tony put his hands into his pockets nodding his head, “And for the long term?”

Sam knew where Tony was going with his thoughts, “Yeah man. Bruce and I spoke about it. Eventually he and I, along with Dr. Cho are going to completely take over his care.”

“We will have to tread lightly because Dr. Simoncec and Sylvia have done an outstanding job with Peter’s care until now, but we can’t expect them to be the best providers for Peter given his unique situation _now_.” Sam said.

“You mean as my son or as a genetically mutated enhanced individual?” asked Tony with a wry smile.

“Ha. Both, Stark. I’m not sure which is the bigger obstacle,” he said smiling at Tony.

“Yeah, OK. Go Team. Let’s update the others.” He pressed a few buttons on his watch again and said aloud, “Friday, honey, keep me posted on Pete will you. Let me know if he gets upset or agitated.”

“On it boss,” the AI replied.

***********************************************************************

By lunchtime, the team had all been updated. They agreed that only Tony, Bruce and Sam would be present at lunch and to present Peter his first dose of meds.

In the meantime, Tony asked Barnes and Barton to take over getting Peter's bedroom ready for when he was eventually discharged from the MedBay. He didn't know when that was going to be, but he wanted the transition to be as seamless as possible, so he thought it best to go ahead and get his bed switched out, and any forbidden objects removed from the room.

When lunchtime rolled around, Sam and Bruce went up to Peter's bed. Tony was already there. Peter was awake, but still had his head turned away from the rest of the room. He was just staring out the window.

Tony, who was holding onto Peter's limp hand said "Hey Bud. Company's here." 

No repsonse.

Tony sighed. "Hey Sam, Bruce. As you can see here, Pete's not too thrilled with me right now. He's giving me the ol' silent treatment. Has been since I sat down an hour ago." he said with an eyeroll. 

Peter didn't say anything initially, just rolled his head to look at Tony and said, "Can you please just let me go? I promise, I'm fine now. I am."

"Oh! He speaks!," said Tony, lightly. He was trying his best to keep the mood happy. He took a good look at his son. Peter looked a lot more awake and aware than he had in the morning.

The scary thing was....was that he did look fine. Peter sounded fine. His hair was a bit messy and greasy, but his eyes were clear and his voice strong. He sounded very much like himself. 

Tony had to actively keep himself from giving in, from forgetting the horror of the night before. It seemed like an impossible dream, nightmare, now. He ran his hand through Peter's curls, attempting to arrange them in some semblance of order, but Peter pulled his head away and frowned.

Bruce stepped up to Peter's bed and checked that the catheter, NG tube and sensors were all still in place. When this was happening, Peter sulked, "At least get rid of the catheter. C'mon."

Without looking at Peter's face, but looking down at Peter's heart rate monitor sensors, his hands ghosting over the various stickers and wires running along Peter's body, Bruce replied, "Can't do that Peter. Not until we have you unrestrained- and that won't happen until Dr. S says you're leveled out."

Peter said loudly, " I. Am. Leveled. Out. I'm fine! If I'm not myself, it's because of what you're doing to me!" The boy pulled once again at the restraints.

Sam stepped up, "Ok Peter, if you've been in this situation before, then you know the drill. We can only make progress if you cooperate. Tit for tat, quid pro quo. You get level, you get the restraints off. Right now, that means taking some meds and eating some lunch. "

At those words, Peter's head whipped up and around to look at them, looking at each face in a panic. "What?" he said.

Sam continued, "Dr. S has come up with a regimen to get you back level, to quiet those voices in your head. It starts with 50mg of an antipsychotic called Nolaperixical. It's in the same family of the type of medicine you were on before OK? Nothing all that new. and it's lunchtime, so we've got some food here. A uh, turkey sandwich and some fruit."

"I'm not hungry" Peter said straight off. He started to hyperventilate, breathing hard through his nose. Tony grasped his hand. Peter turned to him and pleaded, "Dad. Dad, please. Please don't make me do this. I don't need that stuff. I promise, I don't. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Syl and Dr. S. But I don't need that stuff. I don't. I don't hear voices. I'm not crazy! I'm not!"

Tony's heart stuttered. He kept his mouth shut for fear of saying anything that would damage the situation. He just turned to Sam. 

Sam continued, holding out the cup with the two small white pills in it out so that Peter could see them, "Pete, will you take these? Yes or no?"

Peter stared at the cup in panic. Snoopy and Justine were wedged into the bedside next to his dad and Sam. Grey was half in and half out of the wall behind some medical equipment. Justine's pale face, surrounded by matted, greasy black hair stared at him. Her green eyes pierced his. Justine climbed up on the bed and started whispering. Peter could barely see her lips moving, but he heard her so loudly inside his head. Justine tilted her head and spoke. Her voice sounded like sweetness and music, but her words were frightening. 

"I told you Peter. You didn't believe me. I know it. I know what's in that cup. It's going to make you sick, it's going to make your insides rotten. Like death. Tony won't want you anymore. Who'd want a dying, rotten, kid?" 

Peter's eyes darted to Justine's. 

Sam, Tony, and Bruce noticed Peter's sharp turn of his head and his focus on empty air. 

"Peter? Who are you looking at?" asked Sam.

Peter was so torn. He was surrounded by his heroes. And his dad. He loved them. He trusted them. But Justine and Snoopy were right there too, and what they had said all along had come to fruition. They had said this would happen.

Peter started to get light headed.

"Peter!" snapped Tony, "You gotta try to breath normally for us buddy. In....out... c'mon buddy, try and breathe with me."

Peter looked to his dad, tearing his gaze away from Justine's piercing glare. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her sitting next to his legs, he tried to kicked at her, but the restraints wouldn't let him. Peter looked away and down from his dad's face, the concern in those eyes made him hurt. He looked at his dad's chest instead and tried to copy his breathing. After a minute, he was more calm. Justine was laughing at him.

"That's better Peter." said Sam. "Can you tell us who you were just looking at?"

"Justine" he mumbled. "She was right. She said you'd try and make me take medicine. I don't want it. It's going to make me different. Rotten."

Bruce looked pointedly at Sam and Tony and made a short, quick, shake of his head. The message from Bruce was clear: Peter taking this dose voluntarily was not going to happen.

Hearing that Peter was actively experiencing a hallucination at the moment was scary for Tony. He looked so normal. But he saw where Peter's eyes were focused, it had been in between Sam and Bruce, at the edge of the bed, where there was nothing but empty space. He saw Peter try to kick out at something...there was nothing there. Tony desperately hoped that this first loading dose of anti-psychotic would break Peter's mind free from the hallucinations. Dr. S and Bruce had told him that this first dose was meant to bring him out of the psychotic state he was in.

Tony gently took Peter's face in his hands, turning him so that he was looking at him. "Peter, sweetheart, I'm going to let Bruce give you the medicine OK?---"

Peter screamed. He wrenched his face out of his dad's hands and screamed bloody murder. "No! No! Nononono! Noooo-" Peter did _not_ want this. He _knew_ he just knew that Bruce was trying to poison him. The medicine was going to get into his brain and change him, make him crazy. Why didn't his dad listen? Why didn't any of them listen to him? That poison was going to make him crazy.

Tony pleaded with his son, trying to turn his face towards his, but Peter resisted. As Tony tried to make Peter look at him, Peter slammed his eyes shut and clamped his mouth shut. Through his teeth he yelled, "NO! I don't want it!!!"

Sam said quietly to Tony, "Tones, I think it might be best if you came back in a few minutes. Let's let Bruce get the medicine administered." Bruce was taking a small paper envelope out of his pocket and tipping it out into a small cup. A fine white powder poured out and Bruce mixed in a little water to make a slurry.

Tony said determinedly, "I'm not leaving."

Sam nodded his head, "Ok, but let's let Bruce go ahead."

Tony, his eyes red rimmed and brimming with tears, looked to his friend, and with a tremor in his voice said, "Go ahead Bruce."

"Peter," Bruce said, approaching the IV stand next to the bed. "Peter, you've got an NG tube already placed, and I'm going to put your first dose of medicine into the line, ok? Along with a protein shake, because if you're not going to eat lunch, then you need it."

Bruce unclipped the alligator clip holding the tubing closed and made sure the line didn't have any kinks in it. He checked the connection from the bag to the T-valve where he'd inject the slurry, and the tape on Peter's face. Finally, he was satisfied that everything was secure.

Peter was thrashing on the bed with with the strap across his chest and his wrists and ankles held tight, he wasn't able to disrupt the line. Peter tried to turn his head so that he could rub the tube out of his nose, but it had been placed well and out of harm's way. There was nothing Peter could do and he felt so helpless.

Peter whined and cried, pleading and begging. "Dad-" he was breathing hard, "Dad, please. Please make him stop. I promise, I promise I'll be good. I won't talk about them. I won't! I won't talk about them. SHUT UP JUSTINE! JESUS! SHUT UP!! I'm trying!!!!" Peter's eyes had darted back to the foot of the bed. "SHUT UP! GET OFF ME! I TOLD YOU I'M TRYING!!"

Peter looked back to Tony, "Dad, please, please please. I promise, Just...just give me chance. I can get better without that medicine. I don't need it!"

Tony just held tightly onto Peter's hands. "Peter, just look at me ok? Don't look over there. Just look at me. You trust me right? I promise, I love you so much buddy and I just want you to get better."

Peter tried to look at his dad. He did, but he turned his head and looked to see Bruce use a large bore syringe to inject the slurry into the join at the dispensary bag and the T-valve that the NG tube was attached to. Bruce attached the bag of protein shake to the IV stand and pushed it into the line, forcing the slurry further into the tube. Slowly, the slurry and shake made it's way into the line and made it's way into Peter. 

Peter saw the fluid enter the line and pulled _hard_ on the restraints, he jerked his head wildly back and forth trying to dislodge the tubing. But it was in vain. 

Peter screamed and wept. He wept so strongly that mucous, tears, and snot dribbled out his nose and mouth, down his chin. Tony shushed making quiet calming sounds, but Peter was inconsolable.

"Shhh, shhh, shhh baby, it's ok. It's OK sweetheart. I promise it's going to be ok." Tony whispered, running his hand over and over Peter's arm, trying to soothe him. 

Sam kept a heavy hand on Peter's other arm, trying to ground him, but after a minute of screaming, crying and fighting, Peter slowed down. His breathing became slow and deep. His eyes lost focus.

"What's happening Wilson?" asked Tony in a panic, "the meds can't possibly have kicked in yet."

"No, no,--" Sam replied, looking Peter directly in the face. He saw that Peter's gaze was unfocused and noticed the boy's breathing pattern. 

Sam moved his index finger across Peter's field of vision and noticed the sluggish way Peter's eyes followed. Sam sighed, "Well-- for better or worse, he's dissociated."

"I can't believe I'm saying this," said Tony, "but thank fuck."

"How long do these episodes usually last Tony?" asked Bruce. Bruce was looking at Peter with mild concern, but at least he wasn't struggling anymore. He walked around to each restraint point and checked Peter's skin for abrasions. There were a few, but nothing too bad, nothing his accelerated healing wouldn't take care of.

"Hell if I know, I've only seen it happen once and Sam brought him out of it." said Tony.

"Alright, well, I suppose this is better than him being agitated," Bruce said. He rubbed his hands over his face, "I'm going to come back in an hour for a blood draw to check his levels. Are you going to stay with him?"

Tony, keeping his eyes on Peter's face, nodded. "Yeah, of course. I've got some work I need to catch up on. but I can do it from here."

Sam touched his hand to Tony's shoulder, "Keep Peter physically stimulated. Keep touching him, talking to him. Hopefully he'll come back on his own. I don't feel the need to force him back just yet, ok? Call me if you need anything." He looked down and checked his watch, "I'll be back with Bruce at 4:00 for his next dose."

Tony tilted his head, eyes still on Peter's blank face, "Yeah. OK. Thanks guys. For everything. Keep the team posted, yeah?" He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and lovingly wiped the saliva and tears from Peter's face and chin. 

Sam and Bruce looked away.

"Of course" Bruce replied, looking at his feet, as he and Sam quietly left Tony and Peter alone.

************************************************************


	25. Bring it on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to wrap up this fic and am currently writing the next chapter. SO THIS IS A CALL FOR SCENE REQUESTS before I wrap it up (DON'T WORRY- I love happy closure) :)  
> I hope you've enjoyed the journey I've started these guys on- let me know if there's a scene you want me to try and flesh out or something you want to read and I will try and get it done!! 
> 
> I'm going to try and write the rest of the story before posting anymore so be patient as I finish this up and hopefully work on some requests! Just comment below or DM (if that's a thing on AO3, I really have no idea how to use this place to it's full advantage) me.

As the summery stated- this chapter is a letter of intent and **call for scene requests!** Love all you guys!!

Leave a comment, request, or just drop some positivity on me!!!


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